memories.. :)

it is a saturday again...fast fast fast...

these past few days have been recalling a lot of the past...old memories of when i used to work in the music school..though it was long hours and hard work and lots and lots of travelling..i must admit, those were the happiest times in my life ever..

even though i was alone at times, it was my best company..i never felt lonely..seriously i nvr did :) ... learning the saxophone, the viola, violin, and at one point the french horn..lolzz..and so much more..learning how to handle the sound system for performances..so much i learnt..and the truth is..it was always my dream to learn all that...

ever since i was a little girl..i remember my first singing competition, and my first public performance at a fren's uncle's wedding..lolz..i still remember the song i sang..it was a NKOTB song...rofl!

straight after form 5, when i started working and studying part time, i still had the desire to learn music..and so i went to this newly opened school and there i stayed for almost 8 years..a student and then an employee..hehe..

btw..like the background music playin now? it was a sampling done by a group frens and me years back when i was still very active in playing..guessed who played the sax here :P.. urs truly^^ nice leh..hehes..it was rendition of an old classical piece..sounds familiar? didnt know how similar it was to the original and that i even had this..lucky i had time to spring clean my stuff.. my frens were good! LOL!

mehh..now all my instrument are kept in the cabinet..need to start playing again liao:P...sheesh even the notes look alien to me >.>..need to find tat joy of playing again XDD

oh well..tats that..now how am i gonna spend the remaining of my weekend? SLEEP!!! WAHAHAHAA=x=x

"..dont say u care only when u need me..."

Love, hugss and muacksssssss^^

reflections..

2 days of pure zhu'ing =x...

i slept like there was no tomorrow k..but then at nite cannot sleep le..end up watching dvd after dvd to make myself sleepy.. at the 3 or 4th movie..it finally got me...but then at tat time it was already almost 6 am -.-"

Its been a nice weekend..quiet and relaxing..and uneventful..somehow i have a feeling it will not last :( .. as paranoid as i may seem..my gut feelings are normally quite accurate...hopefully its wrong this time...lolzz

omg? suddenly out of things to blog =x=x .. i blame the tv..its a distraction from my thoughts..pure and innocent thoughts :P wahahaha....okok i'll stop being lame..actually wanted to work on my blog this weekend..wanted to change the look abit..but as i said earlier.. too much zhu'ing >_<" oh well.. will work on it later when i come home..hehes.. going out to buy stuff in town.. YAY!

Suddenly realised that recently have been buying alot of orange coloured stuff..until a colleague of mine asked "is orange ur fav colour?" hmmmmm..actually its not lor..coincendence lar..juz so happen alot of stuff i got looks nice in orange...but then i do like brite colours..brightens up my life ;)

These past few days..have seen a lot of sad incidences..not to me.. but my heart goes out to them..it goes to show how unpredictable life can be..how the sweetest of memories can be gone in juz a second..tats why im learning to take a day at a time..learn to love each day as it comes..as much as i like to plan my ways..eh wait..i don really plan :P...anyway be thankful for wat u have today..it just might not be there tomorrow..

"..close your eyes and feel me hold you..can you lead me through this ordinary world...let the sky cry restless rain..to wash away the miles between us..till love can come redeem us..coz without you its just an ordinary world..."

~21 Days and counting^^~

Will post some pics again soon :P till then <33333 muackssss^^

random..

26 days left...slowly counting down...

life has been pretty slow..work has been the same..was on sick leave ytd..something suddenly came up -.- don feel like talking abt it..don feel like talking abt anything actually..sighzz..

at times im amazed at myself,
the things tat i go through, the days i live,
i know that there are other ppl who are not as better off,
i am truly grateful for wat i have,
honestly i am..,
and yet a part of me,
yearns to see new things,
to break away from this ordinary life,
to breathe in new air,
to know new people,
to be alive again...
to feel really loved,
to be cared for, to be remembered in sad and happy times,
to be...
happy....
wishful thinking it may seems,
but not all hope is lost,
for i believe it will be mine some day....
until then,
i will keep waiting, and praying,
for the people i love to feel exactly the same way...
happy....no matter wat...

screwed up (*&(*$)_%+_^(*(&!&

I have recently realised that no matter wat you plan, wat you do, somehow someway it will always bite u in butt..lolz..

had a few bad days at work.. and one word sums it all up..screwed..to make a long story short.. no matter wat i had done and said to avoid all of it..it was still my fault..i suppose the oni reason why it was mine was because i newbie..someone easy to put the blame on..and wateva i had to do to defend myself did not matter anymore..i was sad and angry.. the main reason was because i felt i had done anything i could do and yet it was not enuf......

i confess that i dont like this job but i have always believed that these are the choices we make.. like it or not we have to live through it..and i had made mine knowing perfectly well the consequences...so i had put in all my efforts and mind in to it..it is only work.. but to me..i always believe in finishing wat i have started..and doing the best that i possibly can...it was certainly a dissapointment..

many thoughts came to mind at the time...things i was gonna do which not have been any good for my health now...felt like it din matter anymore...yea..i know i know..im too emo..luckily i din follow through wat i wanted to do..(thanks to ur sms and wat u said <3) 'n thanks to one who accompanied me tat nite...

i had time to think later..and tot it was silly of me to be angry at such stuff..tat's life...tats ppl..i now know i dont have to be upset of wat had happened coz i had done everything i could..and im proud of it..they will have to live with themselves for wat they did..and i pity them...wat they had done has made me lost respect for them and i always believe respect is something u earn..

so..ive put tat all behind me and carried on wif my work..and be happy abt it (still looking for new job though :P) wont pretend im not angry still..ima b1tch, bite me! lolzzz...

its been raining like crazy here..non stop rain...but its a sunday..so nvm^^

taken outside my house..heavy ritee? yawn~ sleepy le.. lol!

not very clear lar.. but still heavy lorrr..rofl..

ok..now tat i have gotten this off my chest.. im gonna go watch my death note2 le...and find lunch..

lotsa lotsa luv and hugsss..muakssssssssssss^^

blek!

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy>_<

hehes..say tat all the time and yet sleep late =.=" slap me pls...so bo guai..rofl..actually been sick for the past week or so...cold cough bla bla..and my ashtma came back :( nvr told mum though.. scared she will worry.. and din wan to bother them also..i remember the problems i gave them the last time i had it..stupid me..keep getting sick ><..

oh well..feel im getting better though *fingers crossed* ...been rainin alot these past week too..especially the times when im suppose to go to work and leave for home..tms betul..know i cant see so well in rain le ma..^%&*^&)$!*% .. rain lar saturday n sunday!! zzz..

work has been busy lately..work work work..had an awful morning today..stupid manager..tell time donwan listen then happen le come scream at me..nehneh...i kept imagining her high pitched voice in some cartoon character..lolzz..cracked me up..scream lar..more funny XDDD..bleh~

took a photo of my table when i was working and suddenly spaced out..

lame rite? rofl...

and then....

took a photo on the longggggg driiiiveee homeeeee>< lolz

see so heavy rain :(((


have i mentioned that i truly, madly and deeply in love with my phone? i have? well lets hear it again.. I LOVE MY PHONE <333 =x=x

and lastly took a personality test earlier..actually someone sent me a simpson's personality test and my result? i am an advocator -.-" and took another and got this...


interested? lolz... check out this site
http://www.mypersonality.info/

lolz..oh well.. the best way to define me is..a dreamer,soft hearted idiot who loves the ppl ard her^^..not forgetting to mention im an advisor..WOW!
Slurp...lmao..yaya tat i am :P.. watevaaaaaa....

tired le...i go rest le b4 get sick again o..<3333 muackkssss^^

huhu..ima sick x.X

As per title..i am officially sick..tms..and juz as the weekends are here >.<.. started with a headache which progressed to cold and cough and now the worse part..fever -.-

Have tried resting as much as i can..dono how many trees i have sacrificed becoz of my cold..lolzz.. slept a bit in the afternoon and end up at nite cannot sleep le..audi'ed myself to sleep..ended up sleeping at 6.30am..if it wasnt coz i kept dc'ing i might still be up until now @_@..

Oh well, it a sunday le.. times goes on even when ure sick..and tomolo is a monday T_T..sighz..shd i take mc? :P...

Hmm..how was my week? fast! time passes so fast!! rofl. oh ya..got my new phone le :P Nokia 6288..lalala..cool phone k..<3 it.. been dl its themes and stuff..cool, coolio~! hurhurXD.. will try to upload a pic soon^^

In middle of the week..a lot of tots came to mind..alot of things to say..was irritated with the ppl ard me..thinking how contraditory and how ironic life is..and yet i cannot change how they think..no matter how they deny the fact that that is wat it is..therefore i am going to do an experiment..i will try to prove that wat i know is indeed the truth, even for them..as much i hope it will not be proven, i am not doing this to debate wif them or in spite..but to prove to myself n others why i think this way..we will all know b4 the end of the year coz tats long it going to take..don worry..time passes so fast you wont even feel it :)

OK..its 1pm and im falling asleep >< really tired sia...gonna take a nap :P

<3333 muakss and hugss^^

and so comes September....

a new month..new plans..new beginning..

learning the importance of having a stand in things..having a strong will and heart.. learning to accept and move on..learning more abt myself..although it may seem impossible now..it always is..but you will always learn to carry on..

was disappointed in myself for the past few weeks..felt so hopeless and alone at times..no one could share my thoughts..my feelings..i may seem like a strong person..tat is sometimes is juz a facade..

but i still have a few good frens..who will listen to my ramblings and to them, Thanks XD..u know who u are..im slowly recovering <3..

the weekends pass by so fast.. feel like i havent rested at all..nt enuf sleep..nt enuf sleep @_@..but the thing is, if i love my job..i wouldnt mind tat its a mon..its nvr bothered me b4.. i guess i really hate my job ba :P..quickly saturday againnnn =x...i always say i wn to rest de..in the end..end up more tired..tms =x

aiyayaya.. 1.30 le.. i need to go sleep x.X..

b4 i go..im ending tis post with a song i feel i can relate too in so many ways..read between the lines and see if u can relate to it too ^^


When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imaged I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open my hands
And watch you rise

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were ment to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly


So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

<3333 huggss mwarkssss^^.....