I really hope...

....that u will stay happy this time..

That all ur sadness will go away, and u will truly, honestly be happy..

Coz from now onwards...I shall not be there for u when ur feeling sad anymore..

Let this be it :)

__________x3__________

"it hit when u said those words..

it was so true that i was acting a part that was not mine..

and might nvr be mine..

so let the curtains close down on me..

for the show is over.."

I would never...

say the words u said to me..

No matter how i angry, how upset, how annoyed...juz never~

The only reason i was upset was coz u dont seem to tell me stuff anymore..

And i had waited for u the whole nite coz of that..coz i didnt knw when u would come..

But the worst part was when i sat there.. listening to u say those words to me...

Broke me down..

Maybe its my fault to make u so angry..

But u hurt me more with ur thoughts of me..

How can i smile again when i feel thats what u think of me?

Ahhhh~

Sickenin week x.x

Wondering when it will ever end...

OMFG its only the 3rd of work and i am already thinking of this?

Im so fucked..Not a good way to start 2009?

At this point in my life, i suddenly realise nt many things can make me happy..

Actually only 2 comes to mind at this point.. reckless spending and sex (hmm..sayin this with this blog background seems weird but i don fuckin give a dam? =x)

Sadly went with the former..lolzz..

Annnwayyy...decided i shd take up reading books again..find a few good books and have some fun with them (why does this sound wrong to me? ._.)

My fuggin lameness is overflowing this week..and the usually quiet me is talking non-stop like a young chicken's butt...up to the point my colleague turned and told me..

"Mag? Ur seriously stressed out" Lol .. tell me about it :S

Moving on...

Bought 2 books from Times..one really deep in contents, best seller..the other..deep in lameness..haha..

Am reading the lame one 1st x.x

So here's the short review of the book...its really funny kay? Dam fuggin funny!

Yeah...lame title =3..i really didnt knw what i had bought..but no regrets :)..here's the read up on the book..

"Gryllus is our hero. He is a pig. He's a man who got turned into a pig. So...he is a pig who can talk.which, as you can imagine, causes abit of a stir in Ancient Greece. Anyway..the world as we know it is in danger and the only one who can save everyone is a smarty pants talking pig. Oh dear..."

Lolzz..

I didnt think much abt it, but wanted to knw wat i actually gt myself into buying.. the 1st book i knw coz i read the reviews and is quite good..so decided to read abt Gryllus 1st..

FARNY!

As i read the 1st few pages, i actually laffed out loud while waitin for the train..lame to de max! Ill show u the part i really giggled out loud..here's the part our hero runs away from hunters trying to catch the talking pig..

"You must have seen a thoroughbred horse gallop? The way all those muscles and sinews and what not work together in perfect harmony? Yes, well, im not a racehorse. Im a pig and i took off through those woods like a barrel on 4 legs. Still , i was a FAST barrel on legs"

Lolzz...funny shiit rite? Well it funny to me ._. U need to read more..this is one sarcastic lame-ass pig =3

Will write the review on the other book once i finish this...neways it called "The Pillars of the Earth"

Yeah...WHOA DEEP...^^

Other than that, been very happy with my lappy performance :) ... no more lags, and so fast..heeee.. and my audi also though the ball isnt so smooth but i dont dc and evrythin else is smooth..yay!

__________x3__________

"Im wobbling on this little stone called sanity...

I hate me for loving you but i hate you more for not..."

Worse day ever..

1st day at work...after almost 2 weeks of not doing anything..

Had to be waken up by my lovable zhu lol..thanx wor :)

Morning was horrible..i couldnt even pick up the dam phone..ughh..*gasps*

Forgot how to pitch..messy messy x.x.. and kept dialling wrong ._.

Afternoon picked up abit n though i met my daily faxes out..

i don think i made my call rates though..lolz..and i dont really care..hahs!

Fuck kpi's

Managers had long meetings today..after they came out..it seemed ppl would be fired if they were non productive... and again...hah! i don care either..

Got an interview for a new job...will see wat happens..

After work, went to upgrade my lappy ram...now its faster...much better than last time..

Tried audi on it..lagged abit still...but im happy :)

Thats abt the only thing that can...

Bought an external kb..and a lappy cooler..

My smallest burst of so-called happiness..

Problems again..ended up reachin home 9...tired and back pain...and problem still unsolved..

Sigh..

It juz seems like a nvr ending stream of problems for me...

My life is like a river that is nvr calm...always full of rocks and stones...

I feel beaten down...i try to stand up every single time..smile and face the world again..

Im gettin tired..

Im startin to lose faith that life will ever reward me...even a tiniest bit..i really cant see it..

Im exasperated at string of bad luck i have...but i tell myself to nvr regret..

Im starting to get cynical in life...

And i fell today...i mean really fall...as in fall and scrape my knees :(

Forget dinner..I came home, laid in bed n started sobbing...

After it all..i feel ashamed.. ashamed that i am not strong enuf..that my problems seem so minor..

__________x3__________

"i dont blame u for not listening, i blame me for not telling..

But if u really knew me...would i have to?

I don want u to ask me what happened..

I need u to ask me how u can make it better"

Hello 2009~

Happy New Year peeps :)

Finally its here..i hope that it will be better than 2008..

Not that 2008 was all bad...first half of it was actually quite good..happy to say the least..

The 2nd half was juz a whole load of bad stuff..one misery after another...sigh

I really really really hope from the bottom of my heart that 2009 will be a better year..

Its my last few days in Penang..cant believe how fast the hols came n went :(

Resolutions were made..or rather promised by me to be kept this year..

Do you believe that this short post actually took me 3 days to write?

Anyway Happy New 2009 guys :)

I pray may all ur dreams and hopes be fulfilled this year..

I know I am...

__________x3__________

"Could you cry juz a little, lie juz a little

Pretend that your feeling a little more pain

I gave not wanting anything in return

So could you juz cry just a little for me?"

..and an emo'ing new year~ {Post-XMas, Pre-NY}

Nothing much to tell.. lonely celebrations as usual..

Not lonely as in alone..but even when im surrounded by ppl..i still alone..

Been in Penang since Wed and all ive been doin is sleep, watch tv, play audi n sleep somemore..

Hmmm..i shd stop complaining =3

Oh ya..Sat was eventful..hahaz..Went to a bbq/steamboat thingy at nite with some ex colls..

It was fun..i guess..lost touch with alot of stuff since i left for kl..alot of stuff i couldnt really relate to..

So, that was wat i meant by feeling alone even when i have frens ard me..

Neways, it was good to be out there with ppl..in a way :)

Sunday ~ slept in

Monday ~ lazed ard

Tuesday? Beats me..lolz..

I knw wat im craving for though :p

Will be here till Sunday..time sure flies when ur havin fun =x

Im sure im gonna have a crappy n emo new year..

Unless by s-o-m-e miracle some wonderful happens...

Which i seriously doubt ._.

Dont matter, im happy im back home :)

Will be happier when i get...

Okies..time to watch more supernatural..=x

Enjoy ur New Years guys~

Truly, sincerely and erm..just enjoy la..xD

Not everything..

..is about you.

Ur not the only one who's sad,

Ur not the only one who wants to be happy,

Ur not the only one who feels depressed.

When u finally realise this and when u finally start to listen,

Then i will talk again.