Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Mental note to myself : Shall not start posts with "juz realised i haven been bloggin for awhile.." in order to avoid ppl who realises alot to realise that i realised i haven been bloggin..@_@.. in other words.. no more i juz realised..check!

Hurhur=x.. for those who know me will surely know that i have been missin for the past week (hmm 2 weeks now..since i wrote tis and din post it=x)well where have i been? ermmm...been loitering ard? okok.. been playin highstreet5 - malaysian server..lolzz..the reason? well ive been audi'ing for so long and ppl i know have come and gone..and yet im still ard..its gotten a bit lonely ><... and u guys have always said play new game la, don be an audi freak..well im following ur advice lo..haha..

Been quite addicted to it actually..most probably becoz it has quite nice graphics and different songs! movement wise some quite cool also..and its quite an interactive game as in ppl actually get to talk to each other face to face..lolzz..i knw its lame but sometimes standin in circles in room verli boring one u know...:P

Actually started with sg server..but stopped..felt the game was too weird..maybe coz ive been audi'ing too long..then malaysian server came and well decided to try again (btw babe i blame u for pulling me in =x bleh~ excuses)

Ah well..all is fine with my time..taking it off the real world..after a hard's day work..its fun to sit brainlessly in front of the comp and be a zombie...hmmmm...tis reminds me when i first started audi'ing..well actually it doesnt.. i wasnt half as bad when i first only started to get over the top when i juz resigned from my ex co and was lookin for a job..tat time..walao..since vara kept forcing me to get to amateur..i pia'ed in tat 11/2 months and leveled like crazy..hiong ar =x... was playin for almost 20hrs per day..slept cpl of hrs and then wake up and sit in front of comp again..ahhh.. those were the days when madness was me..hahaha..blek

Shall post some pics when im done editing (god knows how many times ive said tat -.- so don say i keep sayin tat..) i will larrrrrrr=x

lotsa luv..hugss and muackss from me :)

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


To avoid more tags reminding me that i might have forgotten my 1st resolution of the year..or rather abandoned it..I most certainly did not!~=XX

So here i am.. guai guai blogging..lolzz..ok tats roflmao..

My life has been a roller coaster ride of emotions lately...esp these cpl of after another they keep coming at me..making me tired almost everyday..i think alot..cant help it tats me..

Latest news in my life..? Just found out last nite that my long lost father who abandoned the family when i was 8 had past away...and quite a few years back...mum had heard it from frens who knew him but was nvr really i jus found out last nite when i held his death certificate in my hand..

My mind went blank and yet i did not shed a tear.. not even one for the man that had made my existance in this world possible..other than the fact that his blood runs in my veins...i felt bad that i was unable to feel any sadness or sense of lose..when i did have a bit of emotion in me..i felt guilty..guilty becoz of my mum..wat she had to go through all those years of raising us alone..a single young woman whose life had suddenly ended when she had to raise 3 children by herself..

Im so torn....

Went to work in a state of daze..and told the news to my best fren at work...she asked me wat i felt at the time..i said nothing..and i cried..Not for losing a father but knowing i will never be able to confront him as an adult with my own mind and ask him the reasons he left..did he ever care for this family or was his pride of losing his family fortune so strong that he could not see wat was more important..i will never know the answers...How can i forgive and forget when i feel more angry now...Am i a bad person?

This is the man who tried to sell me when i was a baby..the man who did not work to support his family..the man who had an affair and left the could i be a bad person to hate him? Maybe coz its not for me to judge what is rite and wat is human too..He is the main reason why i find it so hard to trust in always think of the negative instead of wat is always my emotions get the best of me...u might say ..tis is all an excuse..well bite me lolzz..

After all this..i guess i have no choice but to accept the fact that he is gone..and i will be wondering abt my childhood for the rest of my life..but i shall not let it ruin wat is to come and i will walk on..though i might not have had closure but it is certainly the end of that chapter for me...I shall not let this ruin my new year..and i will go on with i have planned wish me luck guys^^

So wateva ur stories matter how hard and painful it is..i always believe there is light at the end of tunnel..juz remember that there are ppl who are more in need than u..

"...when u cease to dream..u cease to live..." still here..still alive and well and continuing loving the ppl ard me :P

Till my next blog (and i will remember k -.-") <333333333 muackss~

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2oo8~~!!!

Wootz its a New Year~!!!

How time flies.. new beginning xD..i realise that i havent blogged in almost 2 months..well~ wat happened u ask? tats between me,myself and i^^ seriously.. in these cpl of months i have learned so much abt ppl..the ppl i thought i knew, abt love..relationships and how fragile they minute everything is wonderful the next..well..

Enuf abt tat..its all in the past..and one thing is for sure..i have become a different person..and have learned to look at things at a different perspective..and i know no matter how bad it was at the hurt a person can be..time always heals xD...believe will always be a part of u.. a i rather keep the wonderful memories i have accumulated and move on..keke^^

Oh well..its a NEW YEAR!!! Time to rejoice and hope that tis year will be better and chiong arhh!!! LMAO! Hopefully resolutions will be kept tis year :P..I WILL SURVIVE!! LOL =x bleah~

Wats new? Job stil sucks -.-" these past 2 weeks have been partner in crime has been on leave and i have been covering her work for her..on top on tat my own tasks..walao dam tired can? Ive suddenly become extremely noobish in audi..cant seem to play more than 4 games and then fall asleep at the kb ><" i hate audi *&)#&^#&*!()%$) =xx..jk la :P:P.. In the midst of lookin for a new job..until then i will have no choice but to endure T_T.. wish me luck!

My new year was spent at home..i actually woke up at 3pm =x..brain fried..and tomolo work again!! i have such a boring frens ask me out on new year eve but i was too dam lazy to drive out hahaha>< cant blame anyone for my lack of activity in life..bah bah~

Am going out soon..promise will start bloggin again le..promise xD..if there's is anyone there is still readin tis..haha..anyway i read for my own look back and think of how i silly i use to be^^

HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!! May this year be a better, more fruitful year for everyone~!

Muacksssss <33