Thursday, December 31, 2009

Its Thursday!!! Happy New Year's Eve!! :D

This would be a very happy time for me if not for the throbbing headache im having now :( and my left ear is startin to hurt too TT^TT~ The minute i came out of bath jiu pain le...sad~ I wan to have a healthy hols lo.. :((

I will not let this dampened my holiday mood though :)

Work sucked big time today, sigh. Bosses are being their 1000% asses again =.= Sometimes i think i wanna give them a piece of my bladi mind. Always taking advantange if the staff as much as they can. I just lazy to say anything coz well i still need a job. But if i get one (soon i hope) , they are so gonna get it >:(

I hope that 2010 will be a better year for me. Im hoping for the best and planning for alot of stuff to be done. 2009 was just a very bad year and alot of on and off depression :( Thank god, i manage to let some baggage go and learn to be happy and let things be. Tryin my best not to let things bring me down and gettin back up as soon as i can :) Still learning, bt im gettin there xD

2010 plans? Hope to get my teaching diploma by March :) then i can travel and teach ^^ and also some of the 2009 resolutions which i nvr kept. Im adamant to keep them now. And im doing it for me.

Wanted to post more things, bt it seems my migraine is gettin worse and i cant think of anything else to type :( Will continue tomoro ~

Happy New Years eve guys~ :)


&someday soon the tables will be turned around
i wont be the one who will be doing waiting anymore :)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Ahhhh~~ Wat a sleepy Tuesday x.x

Serves me right fr sleeping at almost 4 last nite TT^TT~ Was watching some DVD which i cant even remember which ady >_>'' But then again, it was a super super busy day at work today..not much time to even Fb and dam net kept goin off anyway, 1min im online next im off =.= Lousy office wireless.. :(

Dam bosses being a pain in the ass over some small little baby project. It would seem like it was their 1st project ever by the way they're handling it. Oh well, its not i get any commission out of it. Need a new job. Soon. Lol, yes again.

Car repairs came up to Rm200, accumulative for this month? 700bucks. *stabs self repeatedly*

Major sighing in progress.

Came home early, fell asleep, and went to dance class :) Came home, nudged ray to audi abit with me and whoosh 4hrs has passed =.= Maybe i shd sleep. I need more sleep.

And i just played Tomb Raider on tv. Lol :S

Oh ya, ss for the night frm ray :p

Its so unbelievably easy to post this, so i posted anyway~~ :p

Lolol for the nite~ Thanks ray for cheering me up :)

Time to lay down i guess..back pain >< chair =".="">_> Bla.



&i try to block out the insecurities, shoo go away!
I love things just the way it is, dont take it away just yet :(

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Hope u have a wonderful & happy year and many many more years to come :)

No Monday blues today!! Yay me! Hahahaa....mainly coz i didnt go to work today :p Well i did go to the office for a bit to settle some stuff then i left..heee :D

3 more days to New Years and its gonna be a long weekend again :D The bosses actually brought in another tender and submission date? Next week. Wtfish? =.=" I told my colleagues, ok, i dont wanna know. Let me know when im officially working tomoro :p In the end, the bosses suddenly felt, it was a little tight schedule (lol?) and asked sourced for other ppl to price it in. Hurhur XD..

Was jio'ed to audi by mango and ken ytd and as usual, alvin will mia halfway through games and nvr come back ( yes, i wan u to read this =.=) and ken will be busy sms'ing away =.=" Then babe came in :) After that, was basically staring at pc and in the end forced sis to find something to watch. Ended up watching "Spirited Away" which was quite, considering we couldnt find the japanese version for quite some time now..though i fell asleep b4 disc 1 was halfway through...LOL! :X

What else, what else? Hmmm.. Oh ya, took my car to the shop again T^T~ I just spent like 500plus bucks on servicing and fixing the spoilt aircon now the brake pumps are dead =.=. Kill me pls. I seriously need a new car. New years resolution! Try to get a new car next yr since the payment for this one will end sometime in April :D

Other than that, nthg much. Wanted to go over to mainland to collect my free gift frm UOB but car repair took too long. Sigh. So ended up, audied abit, took dog for walk, came back watch some dvd and Too tired..pockets too tired.. :S

Oh well, back to work tomoro.. hopefully itll be a peaceful day. Time for my rest and maybe find something to watch...again D:


&i hope the rose coloured glasses have nt come off..
i hope it goes on being like this~
just like this~

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The day just got better n better! Im so happy it scares me x.x lolol~

Woke up and found babe in audi again haha ( we shd stop meeting like tis babe :p) and he wanted to tag me to lvl....and then decided to do my last story modes for me :D

So, i leveled and babe continued with my story mode! And now i have my purple E1!!! :DD

Like it babe? I love it! ;smil

This has turned out to be one the most coolest Christmas ever and im happy :D Thanks again babe, i knw the story modes is tiring, but u did it for me anyway.. ur the best!


& i dont know if its good that im this happy
but i really am
this is all i really need :)
Merry Christmas peeps~~!!!

Okok...its abit too late, but this post was meant to come out on Christmas day but but...i was too busy....doing nothing..LOL! Seriously, it was my laziest day ever. Ive nvr done so much nothing in a while now :P Wanted to level up in audi but no one was playing ;cry

So, basically sat ard in front of pc, or laid in bed watching shows. I think im running out of dvd's to watch T^T. Hohoho!! At some point my brain turned wonder i cant recall wat else happened in the afternoon :X Other than slaving in front of my imaginary stoves in Cafe World :D

Oh ya, followed family out to pasar malam in jelutong area...dam alot of ppl and we bought dam alot of stuff to eat x.x Christmas dinner? :p Forgot to get turkey this year and too lazy to cook too x.x

Audied with babe and ivan at night though :D Thank god they came back from genting to save me frm boredom lolol :S Too bad Tbun's net is not wat it used to be, and babe n ivan were laggin as hell ;sob Played till about 1am and was tired as hell x.x Fun! but tired :D

Woke up early as usual to get my dishes out (im gettin more n more addicted now that my pc doesnt lag in and slept back. Its so cool to wake up n not have to go to work! :DD Went in audi when i woke and found babe playin :p Tag hearts time! I didnt realise hw close we were to our next ring :D Tagged abit and net was goin off for babe so decided to stop. Me went to sleep again.....:p!!

Continued taggin again at nite after babe woke up frm his slumber and omgomg it was time to love party!

Full house eh babe :DD Thanks guys for comin ;)

Even with the full house, it didnt lag! Weeee~~ Net ish good to me tonite ;smil

Thanks Hugs and Kisses for the lovely mega!! ;mua

New Caladium rings...Finally!! Thanks babe~~ :DD ;smil ;smil

Played with ray and bassy after that for abit, but i was abit too preoccupied with ma new ring :D. Great Christmas pressie for me babe, thankssssss ;mua

Tried to blog about it after that, but blogger giving me problems uploading the pic T^T~ So posted them in FB instead hehe :) Played Uno with saki-chan and sue for abit but was nodding off at pc :S Sorry guys, we'll have a rematch soon ;)

Its even cooler knowing that its Sunday when i wake up! Woohoo! ^^


& i wish time would stand still,
coz these are the best times ever :)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Its officially Christmas Eve!!! Yay!! Omg omg omg ~ Im so hyper x.x

Seriously busy busy busy day today though @___@;; It was non stop working and moving in and out of the office frm the morning to almost 7pm. Pooped!! Bosses were doing they're last minute ordering of supplies again coz since we were gonna be closed for a cpl of days, they didnt want the workers to be idling around =.=

Should have ordered earlier ok? Its not like they dont know we were gonna be closed. Saja de la, make me run ard like a nut x.x To suppliers shop, take samples, collect paint, send to site, go back to shop, take more samples, check out prices...bla bla bla.. And all they want it to be delivered on Monday =.=

Then i told them, im off on Monday ( something which i already told days back) they went, "oh.." Oh well.. Thinking of cancelling Monday's leave though, since they gave us Saturday off.. n next week's gonna be a four day week too..Hmmmmm.. Will decide on Sunday lol...

Anyway, thank god i made it through the very very hectic day and am now safe and sound at home..resting :D

Wanted to try levelling up so played audi abit with ray. He was too busy admiring my bouquet of flowers to play though :p So, got him a Xmas pressie...Merry XMas ray ;) Then he couldnt stop admiring his bouquet LOL :p Anyway, played till it was him who leveled and i tried his lic...and passed :DD..ima cool haha... Nah, if it was the old lic song, i might not have passed, but luckily they changed mode and songs and some of the passing reqs :)

So there, basically my xmas eve events. Not much happenings and sad to say this yr sms'es are getting lesser and lesser TT^TT~ Except for a few who nvr fail to send every time.. i guess thats all that matters right? :)

Merry XMas Ray ~ :)

So, time to loiter about and watch some tv and get some rest :)

Merry Merry Christmas to all in advance and to all a good night!!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dont we look cool babe~? :DD

Although the day started badly, but it turned out to be one of the best days ive had in a long long time :DDD

Went to work as usual in the morning, but eyes was not getting any better. In fact was redder than the nite before x.x Thought it would wear off and get better but started to get blurry and itchy TT^TT~ Colleagues advised me to see doc and so i did lol. Got an mc fr the day..apparently it was an allergic reaction. To what? I have no clue =.=

Anyway, went home and after serving my dishes, went to bed. Slept for abit i think and it was better with the meds the doc gave :) But eyedrops....i have this phobia of putting things in my eyes x.x Duh.

Nudged Ren on msn, jz to bug him about gettin our pets resetted :p Though he was busy with his IELTS studies, he got the hint LOL! Wols la u Ren :D

Haflway through, my pc hanged and died died died TT^TT. I knew it was coming, coz the nite before it hung when i was bidding with ren and zeven =.= i just knew something was gonna go wrong. Luckily i already maxed mumoo when it died on me. So continued on sis' pc and went on to max babe too :D Gratz babe on hitting 3B! :DD

So, in the end, 4 3B resets and it took us 2hrs to complete. FFS was being a real bitch, or maybe my net was, it was so dam slow n errors here n there zzz. But in the end? Happy happy that we got it done :DDD

Managed to get my pc guy to come to the hse and have a look and he managed to salvage it without bringing to shop. Yay~ Apparently the cables had come loose. And and! We stole my sis' ram! LOL! Omg if she ever saw this, im so dead. It seems her pc has 3gb of ram (wtf?) and my pc dude said i could just use hers. So we did. LOL! I stole my sis' ram, and no she doesnt know abt it, are u nuts? Anyway, no diff on her side coz all she uses it for is youtube, fb and erm thats it? I knw im bad, bt i get to save eh. Ill tell her some other time :p

Almost forgot abt dance class coz of the excitement ( and yes my pc is so so cool now!) Had a great class and came back home jz in time when babe sms'ed to audi :D, thanks for the pretty roses ya, even if i do make weird retarded moves holding it :D Love it! Played awhile and fb'ed abit and here i am :D

My cafe world does not lag anymore!! Yay yay yay! I love my pc ~~ :D

So there, my very very very cool day ~ :) Im so estatic and hyped up frm today :DDDD

Time for bed, another day nearer to Xmas ~~ And im taking off next Monday hehe :D

Au revoir~~!


& im so happy u kept ur promise :)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Happy Happy Tuesday~!! Damn it! Wanted to make this a Monday post but forgot the time and pass 12 d =.=''' Darn, double darn, triple darn! Oh well...

Updates? Not so much, just blogging to show off some stuff...later! :p

Sunday, was much like Saturday :) Spent the entire day at home while family went over to the not my thingie eh :S And my mum knows me well enough that i will nvr go rofl :p Its crowded as hell with ppl and i dont do window shopping. If i wanna get something, ill just get it :)

Morning and afternoon was spent in bed, watching show after show after show until i have no more shows to watch lol. Imagine, i even took out South Park to watch. LOL! "Shut ur fking face uncle fker!" Lololol! Gets me everytime :p

Reloaded acash~ Jeng jeng jeng! Mag is on spending mode lolzz.. couldnt resist, havent reloaded for long while now so i figured oh, what the hoot :D and we get free mall items after cashing in too ( yaya, ima sucker :x) Bla.

Never bought anything yet though D: Just a bday pressie for babe :)

Audied with babe for the longest time since, well, god knows when o.o Frm abt 6plus to abt 12plus x.x And C9, really killing me. I dont know why, its making me more n more confused everytime i play it D: SADDD! I suck TT^TT~ I shall prevail!! SMNSusahdasudy897q4r184135!

But i really had fun. Thanks babe :)

Well, Monday is finally over and done with. One day closer to Christmas! Weeee~~ Dono why i really get hyped up abt Christmas though, it just bring a fuzzy feeling all over :p Day was peaceful and quiet...bosses away to submit the tender application in KL :D I just hope they dont come back tomoro :DDDD Lolzz..

Didnt do much work today, well except clear all my backlog that i had to put aside and prioritise on the last project. So, good that i get to clear it up before the New Year :) Left work sharp for the 1st time in awhile. My eyes very red since i woke up in the morning, i dont even know why D: Maybe something went into my eye last nite and i accidentally rubbed it D: Painnnn~ T^T

Anyway, didnt do much at nite. Except did some bidding with Zeven n Ren :) Made some money,which is good, so i can remax my pets :D Even Sir pat, who i havent heard in awhile :O Guess it was money making nite. Too bad couldnt do it tonite, problems with shortage of money on pets side..Hmmm..will figure it out at work tomoro lolz.

Did a spontaneous purchase and well...not really spontaneous la..:)

I did it coz i dont know if u will keep ur promises to me.

Anoili looks cool eh? :D I like it, always wanted wings and this one is really nice :) Anyway, im happy.. for now.

Time for bed, rest my eyes and another day at work tomoro.



Its not sudden realisation of what u can do, coz u always had it in you.
I remember, coz i was a witness of ur life back then.
Just that, it was new territory, unfamiliar places and faces.
Now that uve gotten used to it, ur back to who u were before.
The insensitivity hurts sometimes, but hey, i shd have gotten used to it right?
No, I will nvr get used to it.

& yet i still care. very much. Sigh.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Friday! Holiday! Friday! Holiday! :DD

Though holiday was mainly spent...roughly about 95% on bed...watching vid after vid >////<~~ But it was cool :) Well rested coz i knw my saturday is gonna be hell..The so called deadline on Thursday became Saturday and somehow i know i will be asked to stay back....for sure!

See Ray, im keeping my promise :p

Special post dedication to my No1 blog reader, who never fails to come and read every single day :P, i wonder why blog not that fun ;)

New audi patch and some really cool new stuff in mall. Seriously refraining frm spending but might spend if mood is bad D: (love the wings :p) Some really cool new songs too :) but then audi is nvr fun without the friends D:

Well, guess thats all about my lazy Friday...hoping for a good saturday and a better sunday :)

P/S: I dont knw wat else to blog about ray! So there, an updated post about nothing much :p

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

T.I.R.E.D. 'nuff said.

And to top it all off, my stomach hurts like crazy =.=""

Well, it wasnt a bad day entirely, got lots of stuff done and im proud to say, im about 90% done :D Shd be able to get it all out by tomoro or early Thursday morning. Yay me!

Left early from work to pay my handphone bill. Finally! Dam Digi service center zzzz.. Ive gone like 3 or 4 times before this and there were always problems with the online thingy or some other shit =.= IF they had barred me, i would have thrown a bitch fit ~.~

Dance class was cool today, but extremely tiring! New song alot of arm movements. I couldnt feel my arms when i got home man lol..and to think i audi'ed. My arms were like "Woman! Dont use us anymore!" Hahaha :S

Time for rest! Till tomoro ;)

Oh ya! Almost forgot lol. Welcome dou dou to Penang! :) Will meet up with you before you leave lol~ And i dont like surprises =.='


& there is so much i wanna say to you.
about what i think of everything, and what has transcended over time.

I will, soon. Just too tired to put it all together..for now
Maybe, this will be another chapter?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Monday monday monday!! Is finally over *w*

And then there comes Tuesday.... lol :S

Bladi tiring and bery bery long day @__@;;; By the time it was go home, all my limbs were hanging by the sides D: And to top it all off, my air cond dieded on me and the temp rose when i was driving home =.= U couldnt imagine the suspense when i saw it go up up and away. Well, of course, times like this, u need to have dumb ass drivers on the road and all at the same place, at the same time.. blocking my way >_>

Thank god i made it back home in one irritated piece.

Apparently it was down after i came back home on Sat coz it was still fine when i was using it. Then mum drove it to town and called to scold me for not telling the air con was out. How the hell would i not notice the air cond was out? Its like a mini oven in there =.= Sigh.

Anyway, fell asleep whilst harvesting in Farm town lmao..that is the only game capable of making me fall asleep. My mouse literally flew and i woke up :p Bla. Woke up, stare at pc, stare at wall, stare at my feet and then stared at pillow and fell asleep.. D:!!

One thing good about all this, my work is on schedule and i can expect a relaxing off day on Friday :D. Unless they throw some god forsaken shit on me, then they can expect a truckload of 3u89urfqfjoft from me ^^


& i miss u so, how much you'll nvr know

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The 3 Musketeers we are~ ♥

This has been the laziest Sunday everrr for me. Gosh, i dont think i did alot of things today ~.~ Just sat in front of the idiot box and watched non stop Friends @_@;;; Yes i did wake early, coz my dog suddenly had the urge to sleep with me and basically made me sleep in a very ackward position =.= Nop u cant move, coz then he will get angry and start growling >_>' So i slithered my out of bed and oh heck since my dishes were ready in Cafe World, might as well go there :p

No saki-chan i dont have OCD!! Maybe just abit.....:S

Cant believe its Monday again! Thank god Friday is an off day! XMas pls come soon!! TT^TT

Cant believe im watching SAW 6 now! TOTALLY GROSSING ME OUT! Even listening to the sound effects grosses me out. Not a good movie to watch after dinner..nononono D: Maybe i shd take a looong looong bath and hope that its finish when i come back? :S

Anyway, seriously gettin warmer and warmer by the day..gonna take a bath and rest up earlier i suppose. Pre-Monday blues~~ D:


Im thankful for one thing though. The ppl ive met throughout my 2009 journey~ I love u guys lots and im certainly thankful that i have u guys through all my ups and downs

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Its Saturday!! :D

Finally the weekends are here again.. though it seems they just left not too long ago. It feels like time is goin into a warp mode and we're all moving faster n faster into the future..

Id like to think i did some good decisions for the year, but then there were alot of bad ones too. It juz seems 2009 was definitely not my year D:

Anyway, Friday was busy busy as usual. Still tryin to get my tender submissions out b4 the end of next week since Friday is going to be a holiday ~ :D Jia you jia you me~! Oh, boss threw a fit again, at my other colleague. I think he's been having pms these few weeks. Seriously. And it wasnt even her fault, coz another colleague gave her the wrong info. It was me, i would have just said the truth. Un-deserved scolding. It really was, even if i didnt like her lol (thats another story :p)

Saturday is Friends - the continuation day down to my last 2 seasons :) After this, its time to dig out my old anime and start watching those..unless u guys have other suggestions for me :D, though afternoon was spent mostly in audi :D Its been awhile since i last played and C9 was being an ass again TT^TT~ Despite the constant dc'ing and major lagging, i still managed to have a great time :) It reminded me of how much joy it used to give me and i missed it alot.. thanks~ :D


I dont know how long it will last this time, but maybe we should not let that take us down
and be happy while we can~

I laugh at your actions. How desperate are u? Its not the way i would do it. Its just shows how lonely u really are and i pity that. And it doesnt matter how u look in the outside. Its how i see u in the inside. But its a pity though, that to most ppl, external is more important than anything else and me saying much does not matter to them. The world is its own shallow hal, and that saddens me.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Hello world @ 3am+ ~ Lol..

Can u believe that im still awake at this hour? No wonder i look like shit :S Actually fell asleep earlier and woke up.. Weird dreams again. Its a wonder i keep having fantasy-like dreams when i havent even watched movies for almost a year now D:

Busy as hell at work. Deadlines next Thursday for me to source for supplier and prices for a new project =.= And the boss had the cheek to say, must work faster when deadlines are this near. Yay me~! I guess that applies, even when ur the only one who is doing all the work, ON TOP of the other projects which i have to handle. Hmmm... learning alot..learning alot (me psych'ing myself that this is a good thing).

On the way back from work ytd, i suddenly exploded and had a "bombastic" post idea. It was suppose to be my new year's resolution and what i will say and do. It was all good in my head but i came home and it didnt sound so good anymore D:

I will still post it though, after im done :) Coz its all i have to say and more. I know after ive said it, things might change alot, but thats the chance im willing to take coz it already seems that way. And im tired of keeping it to myself. If they cant accept it, so be it.


If u only knew how much...maybe u do

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Busy busy busy day!




I miss you

For now..

Even if ur offline, ur always online in my heart :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Zomg! I didnt post anything over the weekend :X I meant to ne, i even started a few new posts on those days and got out one liners :S So i now i have a few drafts with only one sentences in it..Lol! Bla. D:

So, what have i been up to the past weekend?


Friday Colleague had blowout with boss, which resulted in him handing in resignation lol. Sigh, my bosses are asses. I dont side anyone, but the bosses handled this all wrong. They ask us to not do office politics, bt the only ones doing it are actually them. And did i already say, its only 3 of us? =.= ( of course i excluded the off manager, coz she's family..and she's the spy and tattle tale >_>. Whatever). Net was horrid, couldnt even get online at all, and ended up sleeping at 10pm :O Now i really think its the modem problem..though it can also be becoz Streamyx SUCKS!

Saturday Half day work. Though i dont think i really worked as much. Wasnt really in the mood..I mean its Saturday ok? Lol~ Though i slept earlier the night before, still was feelin as tired. Hmmm.. Havin too many bad dreams :S

Left work sharp at 1 coz needed to take car for servicing. Then family went out, and i stayed at home. Ended up taking out Friends and watching the whole series again. Laughed my head off :D Its always a good pick'er upper, to watch hw a goofy a bunch of friends can be. I wish i had that. Didnt Fb as much, jz watched n watched and laughed. :) And oh yes! I changed my blog bg :DDD. Doesnt it look kawaii now?? :p Ok, i admit, its a tad bit too cute but hey, its one page! Yey! :p And im cute enough to match it :P LOLOL! :x

Sue finally joined us for our Uno session! :D It was fun, alot of "I love u" 's while we were slapping each other with +4 and +2 cards :p

Sunday Woke up early again, love waking up early when there's no work :p (remember babe?) lol. Anyway, dishes were ready so yeah, Ren has already surpassed me lor TT^TT. I seriously think he juz sits there and cooks whole day =.= Anyway, more of Friends, even got my sis watching with me :) Family went out again in the afternoon, and i just rotted in my room. Coffee and Friends. Love my Sunday :D Attempted many times to blog, but brain was not in the mood to work and was too preoccupied with the show haha :X

So there, my 3days hiatus has turned out a long long post. And Monday, was boring. Sleepy as hell and moodless :S Just got new tender documents for a new project, so gonna be even more busy these few days D: Im gonna be working for my money again! Lol~ But hey, work is good. I think. Hmm.

Net has been seriously gettin on my nerves these few days. I mean its completely ridiculous how many times we need to restart the modem in one night. I wonder if its really the bladi modem =.= I shd just get a new one and be over with it. Sheesh.

Ur always on my mind~

No matter how many times u say, im not free.
No matter how many times u say, im ok.
No matter how much it hurts when we cant talk like we used to.
No matter how much it hurts when others knw when ur coming home and i dont have a clue.
No matter if it hurts when u answer in single words when i try to talk to you everyday,
But u respond to others like they're always there everday.
Despite all that, i still care.
Even if u dont.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ho Ho Ho~!

Ima in a Christmas mood already! Lol! Its the only holiday in the year which i really look forward to. Dont know why though, but i feel bery bery happy when X'mas is around the corner :D

And and and~~ Its TGIF baby! :D Finally that time of the week again hehe..Time really swooshes ne. Time to look back at the year, and reminisnice, the good and the bad of 2009 ;)

Not today though hahahaha~ Brain in a state of freeze still :S

Past 2 days bosses have been outstation, and its been pretty much free in the office :D Except for the OM which is always lurkin ard and poking her noses at our business =.= She's too free la, always eating away at her desk rofl~ :p I think they're coming back today though D:

Anyway, been feeling restless and bored, esp these few days :S Cant sit still but lazy to do anything else. Maybe Saki-chan is right, im burned out. The body's tired but mind not telling it to rest. Even when i sleep, its not really sound sleep and i end up dreaming alot and waking up in the middle of the nite D: Sigh..

Colleagues has been having "debating" sessions these past cpl of days, so its been my entertainment at the office lol..Its kinda lame, but hey, as long they dont come and bother me, im cool ;)

Last nite ended sleeping at 3plus, after UNO'ing with Meimei and Saki-chan lol...we're a bored bunch..really :X But i lost so many times!! T^T Not even one win! I wan a rematch! D: D:

So, now am feeling sleepy again. Thinking of how to raise the value of my maxes in FFS lol..Ahhhhh...bored D: Time to work again. Bla~

Im missing you...what should i do?

Missing the conversations, missing the presence, missing the acknowledgements and missing the friendship. I wonder why is it, im losing all touch of you. Are u doing this on purpose, to stay away? Or ur really busy ? :(

Even if its the end, I put the concern away, and be happy again each day

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

This is what happens when women shop....

Lol...and some of them still have hand luggage @_@ Fierce...This is what we brought back frm Hatyai.

Sorry sorry, im late with my posts.. actually wanted to post this on Monday but these 2 days have been extremely tired when i reach home and i practically nod off at the pc :S. Dont really know wt the cause of my tiredness are, but could be that my body is finally telling me that it cant take anymore late nights..for now D:

Monday was generally slow, bt for the 1st time since i start working here, i almost fell asleep at work. I had to up my caffeine dosage just so i didnt fall asleep x.x Slept early that night..i think..hmmm..Oh yea, boss and colleague had a blow out =.= Both were just as stubborn but i do think my boss is being ridiculous. And ungrateful. But then about 99.9% of them are. Lol. As a result, colleague didnt come to work on Tuesday :S

Tuesday was quiet in the morning. Except when the bosses came in the afternoon and i was swamped with work. And its not even in my job desc >_>" Oh well, a new learning experience (Me being positive thinking about shit lol) Before that was Uno'ing on FB with Saki-chan, Meimei and Raychy..spoiled my fun nia...LOL! :X

Rain rain rain the entire night. Went for dance classes and came back feeling tired..again :S Oh yes, attempted to get into FB to help babe deco his cafe..ended up 40mins later and i was still trying to get in. WTF. My pc lags like hell. I seriously dont knw if its coz of the Windows 7 with my insufficient ram or the fk up connection D: Even took a vid with my phone, jz to show hw much patience i actually post on FB when i get it out tonite. Ytd nite was too pissed and fell asleep halfway..

So, today, quiet day. Busy abit in the morning and now slacking abit. Think my bosses went to KL..Yay? :P But woke up with a very bad sore throat. Very very dry and finding it hard to swallow.. Re-did my cafe again (3rd time !) coz the ratings were low low low D: Now its goin up up and away~~ yay~ LOL..fine! I have no life. Bla.

Back to work. Oh! Its almost lunch! :p

Have a "fun" day at work peeps ;)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I just got a new haircut!! Yay~♥

My sis FINALLY open shop today and offered to cut and straighten my hair for me :D After its been in a state of chaotic mess for the past month or so. But then ive been hesitating too. The time it takes to have it all done x.x In the past it could go up to abt 6hrs! Minimum ok? My butt hurts and ima restless person...:X

Anyway, this time it only took 4hrs :DD yay~ So, new haircut, for a new week, a new month (well, almost), and almost a new year :D

Day has been quiet, woke early, to serve my dishes lol ( i seriously wonder why im still so playin cafe world...i knw...its kiasuism :S) The lag i have to go through jz to play that game, and still im relentless :p

Afternoon was spent doing my hair, slept awhile after that, woke up, watch abit of tv and here i am now.

Cant believe its Monday again! Arghhhh!! :S Ramble, grumble, whine, complain, bla bla bla...

Im so so lazy and bored at the same time. Contradiction? Not really. I wanna do stuff coz im bored but when i find things to do, im lazy. LOL! Oh well D:

Net played a cruel game with me at nite, totally pissed me off when its 2min dc'ing at a time. So annoyed that i actually fell asleep! D: In the end, had to restart pc, and it was slightly better again..>_<

Guess im off to bed, since its almost, well not, its 3 now. Crap =.="

Have a great week guys~ :)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

My eyes hurt :(

I dont knw whether i accidentally knock on something when i was sleeping or is it because ive been staring at the pc for long hrs. All i knw is, the minute i touch it, it feels sore :( Maybe i shd see a doc :S

Anyway, its the weekends again. Though work didnt go so well, actually argued with my colleague because she was getting on my nerves. Kept repeating the same thing over and over again and i juz snapped and told her to get str8 to the point. She got pissed. As if i fking care? Jz be precise and get to the dam point. Sheesh.

Day was quite hot and somehow i was feeling kinda hyper in the afternoon and lethargic later in the evening. Didnt do much the entire day, jz sat ard and watched dvd's and staring at the pc, with the occasional 15min naps. Dont knw why i felt so restless today.

Oh ya, for the past cpl of days, been bumping into someone which i totally dislike with every single nerve in my body at lunch. Of all the ppl, i would bump into, it had to be her. And not even once, twice! Wtf. Every time i look at her, i jz feel sick to the stomach. Dont think ive ever disliked someone this much b4, bt she reminds me of alot of ugly shit. I would use hate, bt its a strong word, even though its hw i really feel =.=

Other than that, audied awhile with ray n sam. Nothing much, was kinda quiet most the game lol. But there was one convo between ray n sam which really cracked me up,

Sam: So how do u swing fast fast? (they were talking abt badminton)
Ray: Use hand.

LOL! I knw ray actually meant it seriously, but man, did that make me lol for real! Haha :D

Left awhile after that, coz was feeling tired and cranky lol. Nets been givin me problems the entire night. So dam screwed up. I mean we're paying SP for fks? I juz feel like picking up the phone and giving whoever who is unlucky enuf to pick up the call and giving them a good piece of my mind. Hmmm..maybe i shd do that tomoro =.=

Couldnt even get into any of the applications properly and i washed my stoves in Cafe World like 5times and still im cleaning coz the connection keeps gettin cut. >_>'''' Bah bah bah! Whatever. Sue offered to help, but im jz too annoyed. If i cant do it, then heck let it be =.=

So now im sittin here, tired, cranky, irritated and sleepy. Maybe it coz i didnt sleep in the afternoon. Lol..

Maybe i shd go sleep now :p Since i cant do much with the screwed up connection =.=

Friday, November 27, 2009

Greeting fellow earthlings @ 27th Nov 09~!

Currently blogging and enjoying my bowl of ice kacang at the same time (yes yes, im coughing..but shhh :X)

So, what have i been up to these cpl of days? Thursday was spent rejoicing that it was finally Thursday lmao :X Didnt really wanna sleep at all, so spent it juggling and multi-taskin between tv, fb, audi, msn ..etc etc.. Oh ya! Wanted to look for a new blogskin, well actually raychy found a few for me, but im still lazy to re-edit it with my stuff @___@;;

Fell asleep at the pc at about 4? :X

Woke up early on Friday, ard 8plus i think..pc had juz been resting fr a few hrs nia..poor thing :p Audi'ed with babe after i served my dishes in cafe world :p One thing, C9'ing in the early morning...bery confusing x.x Maybe i havent audi'ed tis early in a veryy loonng time :p

Then slept, cafe world'ed, slept, oh, got jio audi by ken !! Miracle!! :p...took my dog for a run, came back, slept, fb, cafe world, csi.. bla bla bla bla....Lol~

Pretty boring huh? It was fun! :DD Family went out to Ipoh (i think) and since i was still feeling a little sick, i decided to stay home. Wee~ Home alone! Peace and quiet :O

Evening was spent doing just about the same thing thing of the night? Audi'ed with ange, mango and ken Really missed playin with u guys la~! The laming, craping, indecency :p And guessed who jio? Ange! LOL! Of all the ppl in the world :p Missed ya mei~ Lubs~ :)

Yes! I saved replay and took ss of us :P

I think its true babe, audi trying to screw with our 8k by putting in C9 :S

Sad thing abt audi'ing is i suddenly have intermittent freezes when i play :( Im not sure if its coz of the bad connection or the windows mode that i had set previously.Hmmm.. Anyway cant change it back to full screen anymore since the log in is now the old one we use to have. Bla. But still it was a fun nite :) We shd do it again soon guys ~ :D

Lamed on msn, watched lame ass vids on youtube and finally slept at abt 3plus'ish :X ~

Note: my posts are always one day behind :p YES! It takes me one day to finish bloggin now..but still i post right?? :p

Im happy its Saturday! Wee~ :D

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Hello peeps @ 25th Nov~

Cant believe ive been updating my blog almost every day. Somehow i find comfort in it again. Telling how i feel, my dreams, my wishes and not be judged of what i am supposed and not supposed to do.

I find solace in it. Its a place i pour and vent my feelings out and forget about it when i wake up tomoro. Some day, i will read back on my past post and laugh at my innocence or stupidity. Lol :)

Its Thursday~ finally :) And for this weeks' special, Thursday is the new Friday :p

Played audi for almost 6hrs ytd nite. Dont knw why i did it though lol. Havent played so much in a long long time. Was too engrossed with C9 and also to block out the voices in my head. I think im becoming delusional lol~
Nah, its just alot of going ons at the same time. About my path in life, where do i wanna go frm here. Am i happy now? Well, i try to be. Alot of things have come crashing down and i wonder how i will be able to make it through in one piece. But guess i will survive :)

Lost my voice since ytd lolz, result of coughing too much :( But its good, silence on my side haha :D

"Time will tell.."

Will things ever be the same again? I wont look that far. For now, im just taking it one day at a time. Though it hurts me on hw distant we've become. How u cant even call me what u used to call me anymore or talk the way we used to. It feels like im one of the casual friend u talk to at work and when u go home, that person doesnt even cross your mind until u see them again tomoro. If u see them. It used to be, even though we're miles apart, we were always close in spirit but its not that anymore. I miss the time when u 1st left, coz we seemed closer then. I resent the fact that your work has made u angry and tired most of the time. But thats life, and how u choose to live it. U seem to be in a far away land and im just standing outside the window, looking in.

Im still hopeful, but wont expect much. Less expectations, less disappointments.

*Lots of Love* ♥

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Bad bad day for work D:

Was sneezing the whole morning which lead to coughing because i sneezed too much which lead to sore throat coz i was coughing too much :( In all, was tired the entire day, and body aches. Think my fever almost came back. Darn it.

Goin for dance class soon though, so might have to continue bloggin only after i come home from class. Shd i skip class today? Lol..

Yay me~! I didnt skip class :D Though was coughing alot in class D: But i made it haha :)

This is actually the longest time for me to finish a post continuing this at work :p Took muscle relaxation meds ytd and fell asleep in less than 10mins :O Cool~

So, work is extremely boring today. More like i have no mood to work at all. Throat is sore from coughing and sneezin thus cant really talk much too D: But i jz realised its hols on Friday! yay yay!! :X

Currently doing mundane work, and yes i shd finish it and get it over with but im irritated that im actually doing double work =.=

Im such a bad employee~ D:

Anyway, played audi ytd with new modes, C9..Dam no. 5 button confuses me like hell. Other than that, nothing much. New songs? New items?

As u can see, my post is very very random today. Coz basically i have practically NOTHING to blog about =/ Im seriously bored out of my wits....Kill me pls someone?

Actually thought of changing my blog layout ytd..but cant find one page ones. Dam lazy to click ard the tabs lol x.x So that shall be my new project :D

Lately been dreaming alot, day dreams. Thoughts keep filling my head and somehow i cant quite keep them out. Its like i know something bad is gonna happen. But i dont wanna waste my time waiting for it to come, so i move on with life.

I try to smile each day. Laugh even when im down. Pick myself up after every fall.

Its not what it used to be. Maybe i had a hand in making it this way. Maybe uve just gotten bored. I dont like the ways i used to make u pay attn to me, coz its mostly not the best way and we will only end up arguing. Yes, i do sit back and think why ur bored talking to me, esp when i dont imply anything until i get tired of sitting there waiting for ur replies. I wish u can see it.

U used to be able to tell me anything. Why is it now, a simple wat are u doing, makes u so agitated? Ur words are so cruel recently.

I wonder if i left would u notice? Maybe not :)

Monday, November 23, 2009

Was on sick leave today :(

Woke up with fever and body aches. Must be rain. Oh well...went to see doc and slept the day away. Havent slept so much in a very long time :) Though i still feel extremely tired.. hmmm..

Well its back to work tomoro though.. Alot of stuff still pending completion x.x Hopefully will be able to finish it up by end of the day. Im having headaches again now D:

Writers block........... shd really stop watching :x

Oh ya!! I just remembered. When i was in Hatyai, i actually found a Blythe shop!! Selling blythe dolls!! Omg omg *screams* They're so much cuter in real life...!!! And i saw alot of shops with little posters of blythes..thais do really love those dolls :)

Its almost 3...i shd really sleep earlier..

Came home to what i was fearing. Guess its fate, and i cant do much to stop it. Once im gone, im replaced. Whether im here or not, does not really matter anymore. I was just someone who was around :)

Im done talking, coz uve already set ur opinion on me. And whatever i have to say, will just be push aside and only irritate u. Now u understand why u said i always misunderstood u.

Forgiveness. Forgetting. Letting go.

I feel like giving up. Always trying to vie for ur attn. For a bit of ur time. When u didn't have the mood, i always tried to cheer u up, even though it hurt me when u kept silent but i knw, u were hurting inside. Ive been tryin to make amends, and move past the me u dislike. But u make it so hard..

A friend will assume ur ok. A good friend will know if u really are. Which one am i to u?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Monday.....again.... D:

Just reached home not too long ago from my Hatyai trip :) Uber tired, exhausted, very de wet most of the times and sore feet..It was raining when we were there, heck it was raining 98% of the time. The other 2% is when we're asleep and dont knw whether it rained or not. Lol..

Getting slight headache and sneezing nonstop suddenly :( Think coz of the numerous time we were caught in the heavy downpour.

Brief summary of trip:~

Went with a bunch of ex colleagues frm Asia File and there were 12 of us. Rented a van and left Pg ard 7am. Long journey in a crampy x.x Reached Hatyai at abt 10plus. Rain rain. And i told them my ffs thai friends told me it was bad rain now. Nooo one believed me =.=

Anyway, checked in hotel, placed our bags and had buffet lunch at the hotel. Quite yummy stuff :) Then we were off shopping~ Walked ard the Central supermarkets and surrounding nooks and crannies. 1st time exploration lol.. Bought a bag there though..:D

Walked till abt 4plus and the van came to take us to the "Sleeping Buddha" temple and Floating market. Rain rain and more rain. Floating market was a disappointment, no boats ard coz the river water had risen too high :(

Went to have dinner at this Thai restaurant up in the hills. My brains exploded frm the tomyam and kensoms. Believe me, u will definitely lose ur senses :p

After that driver dropped us at Bus stop, a famous night market there. Alot of stuff to see and buy but one disadvantage. It rained! Again! Lol~ Still didnt stop my fellow shopaholics from splurging though..

Took tut tut back to hotel, bathed and came down again in search of massage parlours and supper :p Slept at about 1am after almost 18hrs of non stop moving x.x

Woke up ard 7.30am and got ready to go to the popular morning market :) Guess what? Yep, rained ~ Lol..wats new eh.. We were sort of gettin used to it now haha..Left hotel, got wet, and reached the market at abt 10. Man, this place was a maze. So many things, so little time x.x All of us got pots n pans which were extremely cheap. I got into it too :X Bought for mum :))

Walked ard somemore, bought dried stuff, cuttlefish, shredded pork, bla bla...Went back to hotel, broke, wet and tired...:p

Back to hotel, bathed, got ready to chk out and van came ard 3plus. Its a wonder we took such a short time to reach home since it was rainin like crazy here too.. i didnt sleep on the way back though..

Well, tats a short version of it. Alot of other screwed up things we did that 2 days haha..Will post pics and vid as soon as i can..Now need to get some rest, coz im feeling abit sick D:

Still Monday blues....but still, have a great week guys~!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

5 more hours before i leave for my one day trip to Hadyai~ :)

Juz woke up a cpl hours ago, and thought one more post before i go off.. im so addicted to bloggin again lol..

Woke up kinda emotional though...been feeling kinda down, coz of work and some problems at home..mum has been givin me the silent treatment for 2 days now...she jz spoke back to me again awhile ago. Maybe coz im goin off in

I just needed to talk to someone, and when u told me u weren't in the mood, i sort of lost it. just feeling that the world is out to get me..and im trying so hard to be happy all the time..regardless of what shit that comes to me..

Tears really welled in my eyes though, maybe out of frustration.. Sigh.

My insecurities are also playing their games with me...i always felt reluctant to leave, coz of what i might come back to, a different scenario. Dam them. Please help me get them out?

Are we still friends, like we used to be? I still think we are, what about u? Just cant help but feel the distance between us. I miss your laughter. Though i don't agree on how u view r/ships still gonna be here when u need me :)

"So what if it hurts me, So what if i break down,
So what if this world just throws me off the edge, my feet run out of ground,
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound,
Dont care about other pain in front of me,
Cause im just trying to be happy, Just wanna be happy."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Maybe. Perhaps. Definitely.

Its Friday. Yet again :) Feeling kinda lethargic though. And indifferent. A part of me knws im doing the right thing, its something i need. But part of me is afraid of what i will come back to. Dilemma.

But i guess, there is no turning back and i shall have to go through it. If i do come back to what i have been dreading, guess i cant do much about it. It juz proves, i dont matter, not anymore. Sigh. Painful shit.

Im looking for the on/off button for caring, can someone tell me where it is?

The signs are all there. What else do i need to make myself understand? Its not the same, no matter what is said or done. For hell cares, if i shd even leave this god-forsaken land tomoro. Lol.. Ok being drastic. But then its kinda true when it comes to this.

Can money buy me love?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Morning world @ 19th Nov~

Gosh, its almost the end of November. Soon it will be Xmas and 2010! I cant believe its been a year since i was in KL working. Boy i miss it, despite all the stress up, i still miss the ppl there :) Hopefully will be able to go back soon, for visit? Work? Haha maybe :D Still in planning ;)

Anyway 2 more days! Some time off frm life, frm work, frm the mundane world :p

Posting again from work, hahah wats new :D Just enjoying my freedom, whilst i still have it. I predict some busy times in a month or maybe a few weeks time D:

"Its ironic,
We ignore those who adore us,
Adore those who ignore us,
Loves who hurts us, and hurts those who love us."

Humans are weird that way. How we perceive love or what we perceive love to be. How we take for granted love that is given and seek out the ones that are non-existant. Call me old fashion, but i still believe it exists, love i mean. Yes, it sucks at times, but isnt that life? We make our choices, and when we choose to love someone, it has to be taken all in, good or bad. Nthg is good all the time, it might be in the beginning, flowers and sparks but as a r/s progresses there will highs and lows at some point but its how u face it that matters.

Lol, random thoughts? :)

Anyway, thoughts are trailing away due to PA talkin loudly on phone and drilling next door x.x so i guess its time to stop multitaskin and continue workin :P

Just want u to knw, im always here, whether u see me or not, its up to you :)

"Im adamant on being happy this time, no matter what"

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Finally got it! Pics of my new phone! Hehe ~ :D And here she is ...

Cool right? Hahaha...i knw im cool..cant help it :X

Anyway im glad i got it, and im slowly starting to get use to typing on it lol. Im still a slow sms typer though but no worries, ill soon be as fast as i used to be :p

Work was horrid ytd D: All the bosses and the office manager came back and it was hell-like :S Stressful and fk up environment again. Oh well, nothing lasts forever ne? Lol.. Think my new projects are on the verge on beginning d, so ill be more busy and crazier. Hopefully i dont go mad though coz one the projects is quite big scaled and ill be only staff handling it D: Hmmmm...

Shall not worry about that yet coz thinking about it makes me...:S

Im starting to really enjoy dance classes lol, i cant believe im actually into the 3rd month of going :) Well, im not gonna quit it this time, coz its really a stress reliever for me, and gets my mind of things :D Wish me luck, gogogo!! :p

Somehow, something feels different. Maybe its juz me, maybe its true, but i cant pinpoint it yet. Im glad uve let me in again, bt something feels amiss, maybe im jz paranoid. Maybe ur always this hyper or maybe ur stressed out :( I dont knw lol..But lub lub ya~ Though i dont really care anymore, i hope im not a means to get back at anyone :)

Oh well, back to work. Wanted to post last nite, bt fell asleep watching CSI lol~ :p


Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I got my phone! Yay!! :DDD In the end, went for E71 hahaha :D Told ya i was indecisive and fickle :X Anyway, thanks babe for the suggestion :)

No photos yet, coz i tried taking it with my old phone, bt i cant transfer it out..dam phone dying sooner than i thought. Wanted to use digital camera but bah, no batteries =.= Will post them tomoro~ Promise! :D

Went to my normal phone dealer guy, i bought my last 2 phones from them, so yea guess i like the service better and the prices are much more competitive...i think :p It was so funny, coz i sat there for the longest time, staring and thinking if i shd get it. I mean its a cool phone but the kb's are dam small, and i need to get use to it in time. So, ive become a slow sms typer D:

Was actually looking at e66, bt after getting bad feedback abt the batt, i was really turned off by it. But i still looked at it coz it was white :p My phone guy showed me his e66 and told me he hasnt had any problems with it, bt batt life was 2 days only...not cool. Called bro, called mum, discussed and i got it! Lol...dont ask me why i consult my family b4 i purchase anything. I jz do it to please them ..:S

Conclusion, cool phone bt need a lot of getting used to. Kb are like our pc kb's which im nt used to yet, and alot of functions tat i need to explore. Downside to the learning part? My manual is in chinese, Taiwan export. Hmmmmm... time to google n shake :p

Work was busy today, bt office manager nt ard (yay!) so i jz did my work, which is neverending and snuck in Fb when i had a chance lol..having a sudden headache now, maybe coz i ran under the rain..Shd go to bed now, coz eyes are not really opening n feels like migraines again x.x

Anyway, hope its a wonderful Tuesday for u guys tomoro~! ♥

Sunday, November 15, 2009

As promised my second post fr Sunday! Kkthxbye! :X post..well, didnt get my phone get D: coz in the end waited fr mum to come home and she came back late. Reason = no one to look after the dog =.= I knw its ridiculous, so dont ask. Anyway, was abit undecided by the time they did come back, so shall try to google some and get it tomoro after work...i hope!

Me wan new phone! TT^TT


*calms myself down* Its only Monday, cant be that bad....:X

Lol..everyone will be back at the office today >_> Last Saturday, i had the office all to myself, it was so cool! :DD I was able to work without those ppl buzzing all ard me. So dam annoying.

Hopefully tomoro will be a good day at work, dont wan to have a bad start to the week D: Ima having tingling senses though...hmmm *ignores ignores*

Anyway, gonna turn in early i can face the new week feeling refreshed! :D

Have a great week guys! ♥
Taking my life step by step, day by day :)

Its the weekends! And though i havent rested as much as i should, im happy :) and though i did ppk some friends ytd :X they wanted to go karaoke to celebrate an early bday but i wasnt in the going out mood D: Rain leh! I was plannin to sleep...they're so gonna kill me TT^TT

Life is fragile, relationships are fragile, but its how we deal with it that matters. Im glad its turned out ok, but im learning not to expect too much thus less disappointment. I shall not dwell on this any further, coz its time to forgive n forget. No matter who was wrong, i apologize, coz i truly treasure tis relationship.Time will repair all the hurt that was felt by us. Time to smile again, ok? :)

Oh ya, went to Joy's wedding party ytd, such a cool new mode >< New wedding song which rocks more than the old one -.- and the layout so cool D: Haha, will post photos when i come back frm my phone shopping.

YES! Im gonna get my new phone today. I was actually using my bro's 5800, hmmmmm..why did i decide to change ar? Hiao? :p Anyway he sold the old phone ler, so i have NO choice bt to get a new one >< I might end up getting a new 5800 :O *slaps*'

Im so so so excited! Havent had a new phone in 2 years! *gasp* :p No matter what im gonna get one today, and mum is being super supportive this time, thanks mum! :D

Ok la, time for lunch..will have another post later :)) Double post for Sunday! :D

Supertighthugss and lots of love ♥

Friday, November 13, 2009

Its Friday time really flies.

It seems like ytd when u walked away, but its not. The feeling is still very fresh in my heart and on my mind. Friends keep telling me to move on, dont look back. Easier said then done eh? I knw u guys want the best fr me, but this is something which i have face on my own.

I need to be who i was before. I need to be strong again.

Anyway, had my check up ytd, waiting fr results in a day or two. But i guess i shd be allright. I wont die so soon lol~ Suffer yes, die no.

So muchie optimism on my side :p Anyway, life is fragile, im livin each day as it was my last. Telling the ppl that i care hw much they mean to me. So even if i were to leave this earth one day, i shall not have regrets and the ppl ard me will knw hw much i loved them :)

I wanna get my new phone!! Rawr~ waiting fr my bro to get it for me coz his friend has a phone shop and he sells them to him slightly lower than market price :D
Work is cool today, one of the old ladies on leave :p i was alone in the office this morning, it was my world :p but i still worked la..jz under not so stressed out conditions. Lookin looking fr new job~ lalalala~

Been having bad dreams again D: This morning woke up to a dream where u told me, "ive broke it" Hmmmmm...might be losing my marbles soon D:

My pc is cool! New windows 7, but problem is, my ram cant really support it, hence the need fr more ram! Grrrrr.. next month ba..

What else..oh! One more week! Im goin away in less than a week time! Weet! Looking forward to it really :DD Couldnt have came at a better time ;)

Dam it, im really sleepy now.. looking at the clock n counting the time to go home :p

Back to work~ happy fly-day guys ;)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The single thread that was left, the only connection was taken away from me today.

I shd feel nothing, coz i shd have expected it. Its still hard to take, coz im only human. And it still hurts. The fact that u have actually really let go of this friendship.

Im off today, goin out soon fr a checkup, so jz a short post b4 that. Mind is currently blank, coz it seems to be quite clear that u want to have nothing more to do with me. The only thing that i have as a reminder of what we were was taken away by you today. The only privileage i ever had is no more :)

I dono what your "trying" as i saw on ur bl, but if u intend to break this tie, i hope u will just be honest to me now. I dont think i can take anymore silence and denials.

My pc came back with new HD and for awhile when i was taking it back home, i suddenly realised alot of my audi pics might be gone. Then i thought, maybe its fr the best that i dont look at the past anymore. Anyway, its still there, they managed to salvage it. Unlike this relationship that we have had for as long as ive had those pics.

But despite all the pain and hurt, despite the words and actions that were done, ull always n forever be in my heart *loves*

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Another day, another week, another month, another year.

And another post :)

Life has been pretty much dull recently. Still having sickening feeling after every meal =/ Checkup is due tomoro D: Guess ill be ok, keeping a positive mind on things :)

Work is dull and so full of shit. I hate office politics, esp when there's only a few of us in the office. Its so uncalled for and uneccessary =.= And even the boss does it, wtf. Thinking of changing I dont want to, but i have a knack fr choosing the worst possible employers. Hmmmm....

Well, shall start searching..:p

Currently posting this at work, coz will nt be online as much at home. Lol..i do try ok =.= staying away frm everything which reminds me of what has become :) Guess in my quest to find true friends, friends that stand by no matter wat shit u give them, i have to first find myself.

Oh ya, pc has been given a new lease on life, since it had cardiac arrest a few days ago. Im hoping this time it will last, considering im using my extra cash to have it done up..And oh yes, getting new phone soon! Weee~~! Not an iphone im happy with anything i can get :)

No more sad posts frm me anymore, coz there's nthg to be sad about anymore. I dont wish to be angry or sad for ppl who will not care if i did :)

Finally, my emancipation.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

They say, when life gives u lemons, make lemonade. What they nvr told u was, wat if life hands u a bad lemon, what do u do with it? Throw it out? Or try to make good use of it? I would nvr throw it out.

I dont think ive ever felt this sad or hurt before. The words u said kept repeating in my head. The cruel and cold words u used on me. It tore me apart, even more with ur silence. Ive never deserted u when i had my friends, coz u were always part of my circle.

Im sorry for being too strong on you, this much i can do. But i didnt deserve all those things u said. I guess in my attempt to hold on, ive made u go further away frm me. So now, ive become the bad person in ur life and the other has become the better person.

I guess there's nothing much i can do anymore. Ive been told to let go. I guess thats the only thing i can do.

It will not be easy, and hurts as hell. But i respect ur choices.

I hope there will be sun after the rain.. :)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Im scared.
Ive nvr been this scared or sad and alone before.
Who can i tell about this?
Few more days and ill have to face it, the cold hard facts.
Will i be ok? Will i get through this?
Past weeks it has been ringin in my mind that something was not right.
Constant migraines, constant nausea.
Maybe its best the ppl i care about leave, that way i dont hurt them as much.
I feel like crying, but i cant.

God, please help me be strong.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Sometimes, the only way to be happy, is to let go.
No matter how much it hurts..

Im emo, yes.
But dont reprimand me and use that against me as a reason to hurt me.
I am who i am.
Not when u ask me to not do it to you.
True friends will stick by u, despite all that.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Having bad migraines these cpl of days. And it doesnt help when ur colleagues are each others throats. So tiring being in between. Just felt like shouting to them, and get them to shut the fuck up. Sigh.

Going into depression soon. Been feeling sick and no appetite at all. It reminds me of when i was in KL where i didnt eat fr days. Been throwing up food again =/

Update at office:
New staff started work on Monday. Well actually old staff which came and coincedently is the boss'es sister. Duh. Another old lady in the office =.= And ytd she calls fr a meeting and wants to do housekeeping ard the office. Ahhhh...

Then tis morning, we started. She did it halfway and had a nosebleeding session =.="" I ended up doing most of the work while she sat at her table, dazed. Blah. The ppl i have to put up with. Now im so freaking tired and migraine jz got worse.

I jus feel like sleeping and nvr ever waking up from this nightmare. But its been nightmares that has been keeping me up.

So, current status? Extremely tired, depressed, no appetite, and bad headaches to boost to all that.

Im sorry i bothered u. Im sorry i worried uneccesarily. Im sorry for breaking my own promise and contacted u when i said i wont. Im sorry for being weak and did when u didnt need me to.

I hope i wont do it again.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Another day ending. Another chapter of tales of disappointment.

Busy day at work, yet it felt as though i was floating through air the entire day. Unresponsive and worn down. U nvr cease to amaze me on how u can hurt my feelings :)

The cold hard fact is, u nvr really treated me anything more than a "sub" friend. Whenever there was nobody to cater to ur whims, i was the one u looked for. Whenever there was nobody to listen to ur tales of sadness at work, or at home, i was the one u looked for. If u had, i would be non existent.

Its ok.

Ive learnt that in life, nothing is ever fair. Life is nvr fair. But i would expected more respect frm u. U were nvr the friend when i needed one. Telling me u were busy with work, but that was nvr mostly the case was it? U had time fr ur extra social lifestyle. But not fr someone u claimed was an important friend. Since when were u ever there hun?

I laugh at my stupidity over n over again. I laugh at my soft-heartedness over n over again.

I am done talking, done crying, done feeling hurt, done pleading u to listen, done trying to be ur friend, and im done with you.

Goodbye ♥

Sunday, November 1, 2009

"Trust - its the easiest thing to lose and the hardest thing to get back" - R.Williams

Such a simple 5 letter word but so important and yet people take it ever so lightly.. Its like a broken glass, u can piece it back together but it will nvr be the same glass. It saddens me that i might nvr trust a person the same again.

I remember like it was ytd, hw i let go a 3yr friendship because in the end i realised i was nothing much in her life. I doubt she ever thought of me as a close friend. Anytime she needed anyone, i was the 1st to be there. But in the end, she betrayed my trust and did things behind my back that made me realise i could nvr forgive her, not anymore. I have forgiven her though, bt she is not part of my life anymore.

I have a sickening feeling the whole day :( Part of me feels, i cant be nvr be sure of anything anymore, part of me says, try.. But i have, so many times..time n time again i end up feeling sad.. What shd i do?

Well its Monday again.. another passed yet again and i seem to have nothing much but lay in bed and finding stuff to do or watch to keep my mind frm thinking too much =\

Back to work guys~ Hope u all have a great week ahead ~

Friday, October 30, 2009

"People walk into our lives everyday, but its the ones that stay and leave a mark are the ones that count"

Would u help me understand which friends in ur life that u have lost because of me? Do u want me to name them all out for u? Think back and remember who those ppl really meant to u when u first befriended them.

True friends, ppl who really care, would nvr ever leave some1 no matter what they did. Whenever they needed someone to listen, that person would always give their all to be ur listening ear. Tell me, did those ppl really care? Or did u really care if they left? How important were they to u?

I have nvr ever left some1 i truly cared and dumped them aside for some new friend. They do not hold importance in my heart yet. New excitement in meeting new aquaintances, or old ones who left do not hold anything to me. Its the ones that nvr left that matters.

Numbness over what has become. But it as much ur choices as it is mine. I do not wish to talk anymore or send long msgs which will be deleted. For the 1st time since ive known u, i truly wish to give up and let u go.
Another 2 weeks of my life has passed..Oct leaving soon, Nov jz ard the corner. So what have i done these past cpl of weeks? Hmmm..recaps..

After my bday was Sir pat's bday and sue's big day..Made my 1st vid for her with the sisters :) It was tough considering i procrastinated till the very last day to do it..and i had absolutely no idea how x.x Spent the 2 days watching tutorials on Youtube (thank god fr the ppl who invented it :3), and finally was able to come out with a decent looking vid. Nothing pro, bt hey it was my 1st time and im quite proud of it :p In the end, was even to upload and play it Youtube without much problems..yay me :D

Cool right?? And yes, it was me singing :x Blah~ Had to do it after everyone left home coz i donwan any "why's" frm them =.=

Next project will be an audi vid :) But that will need more looking into and i wanna make it nicer tis time :D

Wat else? Hmmmm.. oh ya, got my panda soft toy frm Ren! So sweet of him, though i only know him frm FFS bt he's frm penang too and he's really one sportin guy :) and he send it out to me, even though i think we've known each other fr less than a month. Cute boy :D

Other than that nothing much, am still pretty free at work, well i consider not running ard the ENTIRE day a free jz waiting fr all the projects to be approved then ill be one dead girl. Well at least it will get me off my unhappiness recently~

Ive made some decisions that i nvr thought i would, bt i think ill be sticking to them this time. Ive had enuf of shit in life to take anymore from ppl i think will care. U wanted me to leave u alone so u can enjoy ur time, no u didnt put it that way, bt u meant it like tat. After all the yrs we've known each other, uve finally thrown me aside coz u wanted fun and uve finally honest with me :) U said i made u sad, guess after 3yrs of sticking with u, i nvr brought anything else. Ppl who leave u are more impt than ppl who have always stuck by u, no matter wat u did. I hope u understand ur decision tonight, coz i finally see u and for the 1st time i really dislike everything uve become.

Nothing else much to say, coz my heart is so hardened, and my sadness is overpouring inside recalling how u treated and the words u used on me tonite. Goodbye and take care, coz i hope uve made the right decision for when u turn ard to look fr me, ive walked the other way...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Exclusive Post!!!!

Well, it was suppose to be exclusive and posted on my birthday...then laziness got the best of me and well one thing lead to another, so here i am explaining myself =.=

Anywayyy~ another year has time really flies nowadays. I remember last year at this time i was in KL, celebrating my bday alone :( Home alone with a bowl of noodles.. Pros and cons of coming back to penang, i still enjoy my time away frm family, made me appreciate them more and well, birthdays are really not a biggie fr me @_@

But then tis year's bday was really a great one fr me :) Partly coz of all the ppl i met in FFS which it even better :D Plus old friends with new = wonderful :D Alot of surprises and i felt loved, after a long long time ;)

Lotsa love to my lovely panda sisters who made it such a tear jerking day fr me..lotsa hugs and kisses guys~! To all my friends who remembered, love ya all ;)

Anyway its monday again~ sigh..even with deepavali hols on sat, time whooshed on by just like tat :( Days have been pretty slow, except fr some office conflicts at work, i juz sit by and watch..entertainment yet again lol.. Have a feeling will be quite busy soon, i think @_@ but until then shall enjoy my peace and quiet and my time on FB lolz..

Been feeling down this 2 days, alot of frustration and pent up anger. The main reason is, i donwan to be treated like hw i was b4 to another so called 'friend'. How she would only look me up when she had problems in r/s and when she didnt i was jz dumped aside. Is that being fair? Im so tired of making my point, i feel like giving up and telling everyone to jz fk off. I f u cant appreciate me when im ard, dont complain when im not.

Anyway time fr bed, another day, another week.. have a great one guys :)