Sunday, April 29, 2007

TaDaiMa~ Pt.1

Huhu^^ ima back...for those who did not notice tat i was even gone >_>...i have been busy moving hse for the past 2 weeks...but it was until last week tat we really got busy and started to move all the big stuff...wat do i have to say abt all the moving? 1 word - TIRING!!!...i know i said tis the last time, but ima gonna stay here forever and ever and ever >.<...i have bruises and scratches and blue black spots all over me..oh gosh..i juz spotted another zzZzzz...today is actually the official day we finish moving..WHOOOOPP!!! =DDD

Juz got my net connection back 2 days ago..went to cc for a couple of days..but was so laggy =.=!!and the thing is i went to cancel my old line and register for a new one, they told me tat they will oni install the new line in abt 3 to 7 days time (!!!!??!?!?!?) ..and so i patiently waited (NOT!!!) and when it did come..my family decided not to tell me and i went to cc to play abit..RAWR RAWR RAWR!!...in the end they were dropping clues and suddenly it hit me..WE GOT INTERNET!!! no wonder they ask me do tis and tat la..nehneh..they were afraid i would be stuck in front of pc again..wont laaaa...(=P=P)...and we even upgraded the speed (now it goes WHOOOOSSHH~...lololol)

Think i shall post photos of my new place..but now still so tired..old hse clear..new one full of stuff >_>... well besides all the grumbling and complaining i really love my new place..it was actually in the area where my grandparents to live..where my mum brought us after the divorce..so yea, a lot of good memories here XD.. funny how things work..after so long and moving all over the place..we end up in the place tat we 1st started out^^...

I actually had a lot of things to say de..but suddenly writers block pula..zhu la..bleh~ HOHO!! my mind really blank le T_T!...simi la...tats why i put Part 1..hurhur XD...tomolo then continue can? must break up a bit..if not later u all say long post again >.<..

tomolo lo guys..<333 u all...muacksss (..to be continued =P...)

Monday, April 16, 2007

Argghhh x.X

Bleh~ ima tired, sleepy, my body is aching and did i mention im tired? The reason u ask? Sigh...we're moving house x.x... how i always shiver when i hear those words..my head hurts juz by typing it..

U cant possibly imagine the amount of stuff we have in the house..i cannot understand how we seem to accumulate so much junk and its growing!!! OMG ITS ALIVE!!!!! X.x....Since my sis and mum are starting their business soon, they rented a double storey hse and the grd floor will be the workplace..the place so darn big..cleaning the toilets also make me faint le..then they decided to hire professional cleaners..cant imagine how we gonna keep tat place clean..

Im excited..its a new environment..quite cool actually..juz the moving part..scared to think also..now we're driving back and forth taking the small things first and i dont even think we're like a 1/5 through...zzzzzzz....will probably be moving in by next week..and i might not be around for a few days..until the internet line is set up..gahh no internet T__T....

Arrr...not much to update le..my brain not working lei...today whole carry stuff nia..back pain, arm pain..pain pain x.x...oh btw...ytds post, for u guys who didnt get it..its actually my own compo.. and not some story i found in the net de(=.=!)... its actually ermm..my story >.<... juz felt i needed to talk abt it..sorry if u guys found it a wee bit depressing =/....

Well until my next post...<3333.. muacksssssss^^

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Mahal kita~

My update~

" I could not imagined it then but i know now how she must have felt as she stood there in the hallway, looking at him and at "her"..he had brought "her" to the one place that was her sanctuary..her home~ She had asked me to wait by the back door wit my siblings..we had juz come back from her parents hse to lessen our financial burden and she came back to tis...

There was complete silence at first but then came raised voices and sobs among those voices..I could feel anger and dissapointment in her voice but could not understand why~...I think i do now...

With my younger brother in my arms fast asleep, and my sis grasping tightly on my arm..she asked me wat was going on..i couldnt reply her..i didnt know how~But i had felt my 1st taste of betrayal at the age of 7...

She took us away from that shattered home..which was no longer ours and move back in with her parents...she had been a single mother at 25.....She had left this home 7 years ago to be with the man that she loved...and she thought that was all that was needed...LOVE~ He had been a pampered, well off child and even after he had no more family to rely on..he still kept on his old ways...but she loved him..i knew she did..

She worked hard to support us, was constantly away from home..and the resposibilty of taking care of my siblings rested upon me..she had trusted me on this...this was a small thing to do for her...as compared as wat she was doing for us....To have to shoulder tis burden so young..and yet she never faltered and always stood strong...

Though he did come to see me in school, he never once gave me money to bring back to her...to help support us.. all that was given was old hand me down gifts which meant nothing to us..The one question that will haunt me for the rest of my life is when he asked "I dont think i did anything wrong, right?"....No u didnt...if thats the way u feel...nothing more could come out of my lips..and tis came from the man who once wanted to sell me off to the highest bidder...if not for her persistance..maybe i would have..but i..forgive..him..

It has been around 20 years since that day...and we are happy..we really are... we have each other and thats all that matters..She has been the pillar of strength, and the one person i look up the most in the world..her courage and determinations astounds me every single day.. she has tought us to be independant and always look inside ourselfs if we face difficulities in life...she is my hero and my source of inspiration.. though its a bit too late..but "Happy Birthday" and

I love u MUM...always have and always will..<333

Its always been hard for us to say out our feelings..and as she reads this..i hope she will understand how much we all love her..she is our heart and our soul..without her..there is no us..

Im not telling tis story for sympathy..wat has happened has past..maybe it has left a mark in all of us..though i was young when it happened..but i will always remember it..Im telling you her story because hers is one worth telling..how she overcame everything and raised us all..if i was half the person she was...i would be grateful..

"...always be grateful for what u have in life...we are only living on borrowed time..nothing last forever...try to make the best of it..alwayss...never have regrets of wat could have or might have been.." ~ me

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

XD

Keke.. dam tired today...the cause? me sleeping at almost 3 and waking up at 6.45 am x.x...i know i know..im gonna le sleep le la..my fingers hurt, my head hurts..haiz..i actually fell asleep in the toilet!!! nehneh sia >.<... since im not gonna write much today.. im gonna leave u guys wit tis..oh almost forgot..joined the exp compy again today^^ starting to like doing it..huhu..makes me kin cheong..very chi kek sia..kakaka =x...nvr take ss also..so lazy..so many things to do..tomolo ba..=p=p

Read Carefully and Understand the Meanings:

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push! Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff. Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
Some people make the world special by just being in it. Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there. True friendship never ends. Friends are forever.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.
If u love something...let it go. If it comes back to you its yours.... If it doesn't then it never was.
A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love. A hug is just a hug until its from the one ur thinking of.

A dream is just a dream until u make it come tru.
LOVE is just a word until its proven 2 u.

Hurhur^^... nitesssss all...muackssssss

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

x_X

The weekends have come and gone...not much was done...but nonetheless..was a good weekend^^.. had my most needed rest and also went out wit my sis (something i have not done in awhile ><..soryy sis)..even mum says ive become a hermit..=.=! Hmm.. cant really say much abt these 2 days..most of the times..i was either in bed or audi (bed more =P)..oooo.. almost forgot.. i got my new set le..<3333 and i change my skin color.. huhu.. ima paler=p...gonna take some ss soon^^

Was playing really sucky most of the time...maybe juz too tired and my eyes seems to dry up more often x.x...woke up late on sun...almost 1 le..played abit of audi..help bassy npc a bit( he wanted to get his uni) and went out (wooott!).. went to Popular Book store, apparently they were havin a clearance sale.. books books.. used to read a lot last time..my sis was like "oh no, now we won see u le..its either audi or my nose stuck in the books.." =x=x

Got a cpl of nice books..wont last me long though..i read very fast de.. and then it was off to Pisa for the Pc Fair.. wanted to chk out new speakers^^.. i really bth mine le...no sound one side.. so put loud.. suddenly both sides got sound O_O!!! deaf le... blind and deaf =.= .. cwap>.<... well michy and babe ask me to look at altec lansing brand de.. so was looking out for it.. SUDDENLY!!! i heard ZAZAZA!!! Koyote Sparks =.= and guess from whr.... the altec lansing speakers booth =.= .... seemed like the devil telling me "see how nice ur audi songs will be if u get those speakers..." no choice le...had to get it lurh...its a sign k >.<....

Drove, drove, drove.. my legs felt disconnected from my body.. so jam >.<.. reach home already 8.30 le...reach home nia went into audi le..then follo mich they all to compy... and i got sucked in =.= .. nuuuuu i din wan to play.. too tired le.. but got to 2nd rd.. so nice..almost got through lo...kekeke... so proud of myself...and a lot of pro in the room lo.. got 4th not bad le la..prac more^^.... then the gang ended up looking at npc costumes.. mei and mich got theirs le (Narisa and Nicole) and i was undecided.. wanted to get shurin but so exp @_@ (bo lui la)..

Michy suggested dens one..so it was either seneka or sally..choose sally in the end..but i look really brite >.< (nvm blind everyone and i win muahahahaaha =x=x) Michy helped me npc to get my pants..<3333 thxxx lao shu~ she helped when i was at work T_T

When everyone left, i stayed on and looked for new moves..found some really sexy ones^^...in the end slept at abt 3 am...and had to wake up at b4 7am...deaded x.x).. sian day at work again.. its getting boring.. sigh.. and rejoiced when it was time to go home (not a good sign?)

I got some new stories but now lazy to type le...wan go read my books=p..tomolo ba^^..

Yerr 1am liao...need to sleep le...tomolo zombie again...

"...if u want something badly, let it go..if it comes back to you then its urs forever..if it doesnt then its never going to be.."

Hehehe..niteee peeps..sweet dreams.. muackssssss^^






Saturday, April 7, 2007

T__T"

Hurhur..probably shouldnt be blogging now..too tired x_x...i think i might go blind before the month is over..always staring at the comp for 8 am to 5.30pm...no energy to audi also..my eyes keep drying up..sigh..so dead...

Well my mum and sis are gonna start their own company wit my uncle as the financial supporter.. and they ask me to help them out..not yet decided..the things is there are pros and cons to the thing.. i mean family business wor..of coz good la...then there the fact tat its "family business" and wit the emotional levels of the ppl in my family..i a bit scared to be the in between person..later cold war again how, how, how??? T_T..

Lucky i don have work tomolo (YAY!!!).. plan to do a lot of things..want to go out(by myself =p=p), see a movie (hmm? shd i shd i?) and buy some stuff lo...we'll see wat time i wake up tomolo..suppose to go out wit an ex colleague tomolo morning, he's been bugging for ages(dotness..=.=)..see how lo...lalalala~

I juz realised tat i can dissapear from the face of the earth quite easily, i mean i nvr keep in touch wit ex co-workers.. they always say like i juz went poof..i feel tat its quite true to a certain point..sometimes the past is best left in the past..but friends? i try...i really do...im so good at running away from things(tats another story..x_x).. am i a bad person? sigh..i suppose i am..

"...there is some self interest behind every friendship..there's no friendship witout self interests..tis is the bitter truth.."

U think tats true? tat ppl are frens coz of self interests and not other things?... well if im frens with ppl coz i want to be loved and love others in return..then i suppose its true then..i am selfish..lol~

So many things i wan do..things tat i used to do...dunno wat has changed to make me forget all the things i enjoy doing the most..i shall promise myself tat i will try to bring some light and fun into my life again..1st thing i wan to do..grab a couple of beers..drive out to my special place and see the night sky and welcome the dawn^^.. lame as u might think tat is..it makes me feel relaxed and reassures me tat there is bigger world out there..

Ok..better stop here for today..if not a lot of stuff will start coming out..and i wouldnt even remember wat i said..hahaha =x...gonna watch ghost rider on dvd and fall asleep in the 1st half hour LOL!...until again.. muackssssssssssssssssss^^

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Love and Life... the continuation^^..

Tis story tell us something abt Love & Life,

"My husband is an engineer by profession, i love him for his steady nature and i love the warm feeling when i lean against his broad shoulders. 2 years of courtship and now, 5 years into marriage, i would have to admit, tat i am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him b4 has now transformed into the coz of all my restlessness..

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship n my feelings. i yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. my husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me abt LOVE.

One day, i finally decided to tell him my decision, tat i wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" i answered.. He kept silent the whole nite, seemingly in deep thought. my feeling of dissapointment oni increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so wat else could i expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "Wat can i do to change ur mind?".. somebody said it rite.. its hard to change a person's personality, and i guess, i have started to lose faith in him..Looking deep into his eyes i slowly answered: "Here's the question..if u can answer and convince my heart, i will change my mind. Lets say, i want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we are both sure tat picking the flower will cause ur death. Will u do it for me?"

He said: " I will give u my answer tommorow.." My hopes jus sank by listening to his response.. I woke up the next morning to find him gone and saw a pc of paper wit his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table, near the front door, tat goes...

My dear, "i would not pick tat flower for u, but.. pls allow me to explain the reasons further...the first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading..


"When u use the computer u always mess up the software programs, and u cry in front of the screen. i have to save my fingers so tat i can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus i have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for u.

You love travelling but always lose ur way in a new city. i have to save my eyes to show u the way..you always have the cramps whenever ur "good fren" approaches every month. i have to save my palms so tat i can calm the cramps in ur tummy..

You like to stay indoors, and i worry ta u will be infected by infantile autism. i have to save my mouth to tell u jokes and stories to cure ur boredom..

You always stare at the computer, n tat will do nothing good for ur eyes. i have to save my eyes so tat when we grow old, i can help to clip ur nails n help u remove those annoying white hairs. so i can hold ur hand while strolling down the beach, as u enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand.. and tell u the color of flowers, juz like the color of the glow on ur young face..

Thus my dear, unless i am sure tat there is someone who loves u more than i do.. i could not pick tat flower, and die...

My tears fell on the letter and blurred the ink of his handwriting..and as i continue on reading.."Now, tat u have finished reading my answer, and if u are satisfied, please open the front door for i am standing outside bringing ur favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rushed to open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly wit his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.. now i am very sure tat no one will ever love me as much as he does and i have decided to leave the flower alone....

That's Life and Love.. when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love tat lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has nvr been a model, it could be the dullest and most boring form..

Flowers and romantic moments are only used and appears on the surface of the relationship. Under all tis, the pillar of true love stands.. And tats LIFE!

So so? long post leh?? i had to retype it coz i din have the copy in my comp @_@...so u had better appreciate it =p... Did it touch u as much as it did me? i think the woman a bit like me in terms of emotions.. a bit oni laa..but i know better now^^....

"..NEVER take a person for granted..for u will never know when it might juz all go away.. "

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Love and Life....

I now truly understand y my family says im a workaholic..i truly, madly, deeply love to work^^.. work tat occupies my time and makes me busy.. not monotonous one mind u..im saying tis coz tis job tat im having now.. seems to be going in tat direction..its not giving me the satisfaction im looking for..and im getting bored >.<.. which is not a good thing coz i tend to stay at one place for long periods..even my last job which was suppose to be my "transition job" was for abt almost 2 years..lol~

But im not saying im gonna quit..no no no..im gonna give it 1 more month and decide..but tis job might be the reason i go blind lei.. staring at the comp the entire day and looking at the darn item codes @_@...oh well...the other day my mum was saying tat me and my brother are the oppposite extremes..when we were studying..he was always the one who played hookey and skip school most of the time where else i would always be present (even when i had my asthma attack >.<).. i dunno y i do it... even now when we are working.. its still the same.. juz my bro dun hookey so much laa..but im still the same.. i always felt responsible to finish all i have started..if i wasnt sick (even if i was) i will always be there..i dunno.. call me dumb, but i suppose tat part of me will nvr change =P...

Been really tired these few days..mum and sis were having a cold war and i was sort of stuck in between >< ... mum would complain to me abt sis...sis would complain (gahhhh).. i give opinions (NEVER EVER DO TAT)... i get shot at.. sigh.. luckily it ended last nite..or i would have avoided coming home today..stress >.< ...

The reason for my blog title today? well i read a really touching story but not gonna put it here coz too long le... (mei if u want it, ill send it to u^^..very nice ><).. well in summary, ill leave u guys wit this...

"..the happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things tat are less than perfect.."

wat do u think?? muacksssssss^^

Sunday, April 1, 2007

=P

Huhu...my siggy..juz wan to show off...ange mei did de <33333....so nice..


I'm back^^...

Well been away most of the time these 2 days..my sleeping fiesta has been delayed from day to day.. until today..finally i get to sleep in..really been feeling a bit blue..dunno y..dun ask..missing a lot of ppl..u guys know who u are..

Went to the movies with Mr.Blur on friday..actually was dreaming of my bed the whole day..came back early..was watching some replays, then the sms came.."hey wanna watch movie tonite?".. i was like hmmm...bed..movie..bed..movie..after a number of sms'es(was already on the bed)..couldnt fall asleep le T_T..and since he suggested Mr Bean, been meaning to watch it..decided to go..halfway there it started to rain...heavily =.= (shd have stayed in bed)...in the end, guess wat..Mr Bean sold out..RAWR..ended up watching the lamest movie ever...(Warning: DUN EVER WATCH HAUNTED FOREST!!!) OMG..it shd get the award for the lamest movie of the year..loitered ard the arcades while waiting for the movie(it was an hr later) walk ard.. found no place to sit coz it was still raining and the mall was already closed.. so ended sitting on the staircase.. i dunno abt u guys but i havent chit chatted in staircases since i was in secondary school k..anyway chatted a bit and went for the movie.. NOW...briefly abt the movie...

Starring Ekin Cheng and Shu Qi: Shu Qi(SQ) plays a cop investigating a murder case and Ekin Cheng(EC) is a botanist..cut a long lame story short..EC can talk to trees (???!!??!)..it juz gets lamer and lamer..i was like falling asleep..and the Grand Finale...it turns out the forest isnt filled wit ghosts of ppl who killed themselves there..its ALIENS (LAMEEEEEE), they are doing research on humans..or wateva la...OMFG..i switched off my brain at tis point..movie ended..YAY!!!

The last movie i watched also was a lame movie..Epic Movie..and guess wit who?..Mr Blur lo..no more le..next time must make sure got the movie i wan to watch then oni can..nehneh sia..Well went to car park to get car..and our fren here forget whr he kept his ticket..i shd have guessed..so spent abt 15mins looking for it..it was in his wallet all the time =.=...reached home at abt 1.30am..so sweet, he followed my car (huhu) and sms'ed to make sure im safe at home..but pls har.. no more lame movies...

Saturday morning.. work..gahhh..so boring.. seriously dreaming of my bed le..had to wash my face like xN times..lucky half day nia..had to fetch my sis from work..went to get lunch..and some grocery shopping (bed bed bed bed @_@).. reached home..mum says..later we have to go Cheng Beng( all souls day) ar.. dun forget... HUH??!?!?!?!.. no offense.. i really want to go pray at my grandparents grave..but but but...sigh...slept for abt 45 mins..was shouted at to wake up..drove for abt 1hr...prayed.. reached home at abt 9.30pm...soooooo tiredddd...had dinner.. and went audi lo.. 2 days le nvr play..oh.. my siblings and i had games galore ytd.. my sis on ps2 (playing her tomb raider), bro on xbox (some zombie game) and me on pc (audi lo)..but all so tired.. couldnt last..3.30am all pengzz le.. slept until 12 today lo..

Not really sure wat to do for the rest of the day..rest? audi? we'll see ba..

"...nvr say goodbye..i feel a sense of lost when u utter those words..juz say goodnite..cya tomolo..."