Saturday, April 14, 2007

Mahal kita~

My update~

" I could not imagined it then but i know now how she must have felt as she stood there in the hallway, looking at him and at "her"..he had brought "her" to the one place that was her sanctuary..her home~ She had asked me to wait by the back door wit my siblings..we had juz come back from her parents hse to lessen our financial burden and she came back to tis...

There was complete silence at first but then came raised voices and sobs among those voices..I could feel anger and dissapointment in her voice but could not understand why~...I think i do now...

With my younger brother in my arms fast asleep, and my sis grasping tightly on my arm..she asked me wat was going on..i couldnt reply her..i didnt know how~But i had felt my 1st taste of betrayal at the age of 7...

She took us away from that shattered home..which was no longer ours and move back in with her parents...she had been a single mother at 25.....She had left this home 7 years ago to be with the man that she loved...and she thought that was all that was needed...LOVE~ He had been a pampered, well off child and even after he had no more family to rely on..he still kept on his old ways...but she loved him..i knew she did..

She worked hard to support us, was constantly away from home..and the resposibilty of taking care of my siblings rested upon me..she had trusted me on this...this was a small thing to do for compared as wat she was doing for us....To have to shoulder tis burden so young..and yet she never faltered and always stood strong...

Though he did come to see me in school, he never once gave me money to bring back to help support us.. all that was given was old hand me down gifts which meant nothing to us..The one question that will haunt me for the rest of my life is when he asked "I dont think i did anything wrong, right?"....No u didnt...if thats the way u feel...nothing more could come out of my lips..and tis came from the man who once wanted to sell me off to the highest bidder...if not for her persistance..maybe i would have..but i..forgive..him..

It has been around 20 years since that day...and we are happy..we really are... we have each other and thats all that matters..She has been the pillar of strength, and the one person i look up the most in the world..her courage and determinations astounds me every single day.. she has tought us to be independant and always look inside ourselfs if we face difficulities in life...she is my hero and my source of inspiration.. though its a bit too late..but "Happy Birthday" and

I love u MUM...always have and always will..<333

Its always been hard for us to say out our feelings..and as she reads this..i hope she will understand how much we all love her..she is our heart and our soul..without her..there is no us..

Im not telling tis story for sympathy..wat has happened has past..maybe it has left a mark in all of us..though i was young when it happened..but i will always remember it..Im telling you her story because hers is one worth she overcame everything and raised us all..if i was half the person she was...i would be grateful..

"...always be grateful for what u have in life...we are only living on borrowed time..nothing last forever...try to make the best of it..alwayss...never have regrets of wat could have or might have been.." ~ me

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