Friday, March 27, 2009


Well, its almost 4am now, am actually feeling quite sleepy lol =\
Been sleepin early these past few nites, b4 3am sleep le..
maybe coz my body is really tired.
Really straining to walk properly, i feel so useless at times.
So many things i cant do for myself, even bathing is a problem,
walking to get my own food or drinks, i need to think twice.
I feel like a burden :(
Im frustrated, angry and stressed out.
Anyone who says they want to be in my position, please come n take it.
Anyway, had my second visit to sinseh today..
Unwrapped my foot coz the med was making it itch x.x
And the swelling hadnt reduced, they say quite serious coz of the fracture.
So had it wrapped up again.. hope it doesnt itch.
Thought wanted to cancel my dinner appointment with frens but ive been stuck
at home so many days and i really missed them, so i went.
Had to have mum drop me, though she grumbled abit she took me anyway :)
Well, they had alot of seafood courses..something which i cant eat of the leg thingie.
So had to eat veggies nia x.x
Laughed alot, lamed alot..really missed those times.
Went on to cafe after dinner to continue our chat..coz one of our fren
was back frm UK for 2 weeks.
It was quite a cool nite, and enjoyed myself outside of home xD
Well they dropped me home almost 10plus and i came back to an empty home.
Family went out shopping (seriously my family shops alot x.x)
Chatted with bass n a fren, played abit of audi, and here i am now..
My cpu is giving me problems, as in it wont detect the monitor..haiz
i dono wats the problem, bt i tried fixing it juz nw and hit my leg coz i slipped zz
Floor slippery + my bandage + my sis wide table = pain
Nuf said.
Shall try again
"would you be happier if i wasnt there anymore?
juz say the word and ill be gone "

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Sry guys, but these few days de posts wil have a lot of ramblings and grumblings from me..
Lol x.x
The reason, you all shd knw by now right?
Im very moody n restless, esp when the size of my toes are like oversteamed cocktail sausages..
I think they wrapped abit too tight, bt then again i guess to make sure the plate don move ard..
And to top it all off, it itches where u cant scratch dao..
It itches now @_@ Great!!
Am now watching anime in hopes that i will forget abt it..
Even audi'ing doesnt help, coz it only reminds me that ur not there :(
Dont push me away at times like this,
Dont hide ur pain from me,
Dont keep silent and keep me worried,
Dont do all that and expect me to keep calm.
What I thought never mattered in the first place.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Slept for more than 10hrs ytd o.o
The nite before couldnt sleep a wink, anywhere i turned to, my foot hurt..
Well, went to see the sinseh ytd..and he said my ankle bone was cracked T_T
He kept asking me to relax my foot while he aligned the femur, i tried lor..
But dam! Really painful k? I even tried looking elsewhere and thought of happy thoughts..
But in the end, it still came back to the stinging pain in right foot zzz..
Anyway, i knw have a steel plate on my ankle, and walking properly is a bitch.
Slept my record earliest in a long time, b4 2.30am lol =_=
And im suppose to having with some frens who juz came back frm UK tomoro..
Hmmm..wonder how im gonna do that.
There goes my plans for awhile..
And i thought i was gonna get my monitor by this week d..bla.
Oh well..

Monday, March 23, 2009

Pain! T_T

Im feeling so dizzy, so faint...
Coz i juz bladi fell sia..
My slippers were abit too big n the pavement was not flat..thus T_T
I sat there fr awhile, coz i couldnt stand up and the minute i did..i almost fainted @@
The pain is unbearable..tried to lie dwn but it was im sitting here..drowsy..
Fk sia..sigh..:(
Will need to see sinseh tomoro, coz i think i heard it snap x.x
These past few days have been feeling down..
More of dispppointment ba..
Trust..such a fragile word..once its broken, it wil nvr be the same again.
As frens, i try to listen as much as i can, help as much as i can,
be there as much as i can, in short..try to be a good fren.
But i realised, somethings we cant wat other ppl say..
And if those frens choose to believe them rather than their hearts,
Well...i have nothing to explain right? I mean..wat is the point?
If deep inside they don believe us, wat u say isnt gonna change much.
I guess i was dumb. To think u understood.
So, thats that then. Goodbye?
I can only take so much..
Saturday was spent feeling down..tot it was over..
Sunday was spent with family, from morning till late night..
Did alot of things, did my stuff, family furniture shopping lol=_=
Ate alot! omg omg omg.
Then came hm to bad news again frm darling..
Oh well.
I leave it to fate..
All i knw nw trust is not the same fr now..
"why do people never appreciate when they have it,
but mourn when they lose it?"

Friday, March 20, 2009

The aftermath.

Slept earliest ytd, ard for me k?
Laid down n juz fell asleep..weird..didnt roll ard like im so used to doing..
Woke a few times in the morning, thought i heard my phone sms..K garden's Hope of Spring lol..
Thought it was you.. and then ard 1 was..
You knw, i was happy when i saw wat u did for me..i really was. Honest.
I juz realised, language, spoken words, written words are very powerful..
How a simple qn, could be a simple reply could be too.
It shows what a person is feeling at that moment, tells u what their emotions are like..
Its not always if u knw someone long enuf, it normally
I would be happier if u didnt take ur anger out on me.
Really, i cant take those things u said and the way u said , it hurts.
Sometimes, things can be put in another way, and not the way u did it.
Im sorry if i seem sarcastic.

Oh ya..on a lighter pc is back :)
Now the only fuggin problem is, i don hv a monitor =_=
Dam it!
Need to go scout fr one d..hehe.
And and came out with the new cpl 31 hearts mode..
Cute moves, cant do much on my lappy though..
And stil don get how it
Bt i like the animations for it, esp the winners heart thing..haha =x

Heavy rain this afternoon..hmmm..

Shall go watch Pirates of the Carribean, the 3rd part ba..

"& im sorry i hurt your feelings,
but you hurt mine too..."


Im so irritated! Annoyed!
How could u say that ur not sarcastic, unlike me?
By saying that, arent u doing it also?
How many times have i asked u to control ur temper?
Why do u end up saying such things and make me feel so bad?
Was it really necessary?
After all that, what do you expect me to say?
I have to eat god damn banana pie at tis hr to calm me down! Wtf.
"if u dont know me by now,
you wont never ever know me.."

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Another day, another post..

Tick tock..tick tock...tick tock...
How time flies when ur having fun..
Having fun doing absolutely nothing much..zzz
Dont ask me wat im doing, coz most probably it will staring at the lappy,
Wondering what to do next x.x
I go in audi, come out, go in facebook, come out, go in mailbox, come out..
Well, you get the picture...lolz
And yet too lazy to do anything else...omg..rot si me zzzz
Mum ask me go out buy laksa, i also no mood..
Juz the dam weather here...when it rains it hot, when it doesnt its like hell x.x
And starting to get very easily irritated..arghhhh!
Need to find a job...soon..crap.
Juz finished washing my car...washed it like so dam long k? And juz had the roof fixed :)
Then watched National Treasure 2..and now sitting here..staring again..
Been in FB alot, actually i nvr even close it =x
Slots, scratch off, and PS...lolz..
Oh of my ano in Ps...wait wait..i post! (tis is hw free i am=x)
This is my new look for ytd :p...i like my pirate set hehe(thanks to baby hehe)...
and also went berserk over the toys ytd x.x...i love my pirate ship =3
i still need the ambulance!! Last missing piece..

My previous look b4 the pirate was for St Patrick's Day de i think..

I like the elf thingies hehehe =x

Oh ya, anoili is currently Lvl 48 d hurhurxD..few more and WS d x.x

And then wat? hmmmm...

I try not chiong'ing but hor some1 is chasing me..and i donwan him cut me :p

Kiasu me...LOL! =x

And now, i need to find something to do..before i lose my mind...

Should i go try get my ambulance in PS? =xxx

Tomoro's Friday guys!!

Have a great day tomoro for a greater weekend!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


After 5 loooooong months, change rings liao! T_T
Im so happy!!
Lolzz..ok, think its my lack of sleep and too much coffee talking =x
5 months k babe? 5!!
Tsk tsk...
In 2 days, we tagged almost 800 hearts leh x.x
No wonder my fingers hurt lol..
Though my evening was slightly marred by some stuff at hm,
and also some1 who made me pissed for awhile..
It was made up with this :)
At first thought we were gonna do it tomoro le..but 100hearts like so fast nia..
So i rushed out to Arizona to do it..
The love party song, was a 128 bpm song which i don think hv played much b4..
And ive been playing too much on my lappy got me abit worried..
And also, the cc tend to get laggy at times x.x
Though babe said it was easy to perf, the 1st few games that i tried i couldnt perf !!
Whenever the ball reached the light, my screen would jump and i'd end with cool
Lucky after off'ing the vsync it gt slightly better, guess it was my nerves ba =x
Too long nvr play ballroom liao lolzz (blame blame =x)
Heng we could sync perf, ended up with 12 hearts =3
But zhu babe chain so much, not cool! U stole my chains! hurhur =x
Choreo nia! i also play until so xin ku n miss.. zzzz
Need my pc back asap, need to train back le..
I feel so noob :(
Anyway, it was like our last party ba, when babe couldnt chain that 126 song and i could..
Redemption! Bleh~

Oh well, time to watch my movie and rest abit :)

And here's the ring...

Asphodelus babes^^

Didnt managed to save the replays though T_T,

Stupiak cc, i couldnt even retrieve my ss..shd hv reminded babe to save :(

Sad, sad...

But but but...

Thanks babe =3 for my new ring, next one blinging de wor..i wan can? =x



Monday, March 16, 2009

Sleepless In Penang...

I was asked by my zhu to update my blog daily,
then i said eh i donwan bore ppl with my lame posts leh..
Then i tried to update ytd...hmm nothing x.x
So i asked baby, would she be bored if i updated daily...
I mean, i don hv the life of a jet setter leh, jz normal me and my post
are quite emo de lo..haha =x
But she said, well, its a diary of your life...
I guess so..
So here i am, trying to update (bore) you ppl on my happenings..
Since ive been back here..ive realised that ive been sleeping in the wee hrs of the morning
and waking up in the afternoon..
No, its not fun..
Mainly coz, im thinking, im worried abt a lot of things..
Contrary to the belief that i could care less, the fact is, i care too much..
Especially of what my family thinks of me..
There've been some cold wars in the hse, dont ask me abt what,
it juz stresses me out..
Well, enuf sad stuff...
Lets move on to other wat i did these few days :)
Alu uncle came to town,
And it was his birthday, so we ( me, hani n sai kk) went to sing K,
Screamed like crazy (it was good to release)
Maybe it was the red wine..lolz
Then they played snooker..i dono how to play lor T_T
Noob me, duh.
Played once when i was in Sg nia, tt time it was ange, mich and tazz that taught me :)
I miss u guys.
Then we also had seafood dinner on i went late coz was waitin for mum
to come hm..believe it or not..i had to babysit the dog x.x
Went there, they were already eating crab liao..then i also abit not in the mood d
So juz ate abit x.x
Then went to cc lol..went to this one in Farlim coz they had Ip bonus.
Extra 30% dens n exp o.o
Cool eh^^
Well played till almost 5am and went hm..
Sunday..tagged with zhu almost the whole rings soon eh :p
Then at arrow hand pain sia..esp middle finger o.o
Dam, now kenot point at ppl d...lolzz
Too much audi le x.x
Couldnt sleep again last nite..another bad sms, another bad news.
Need to think somemore..zz
Oh well, anyway have a great week ahead peeps =3
" juz trying to find a place where i belong..
is that so hard?"

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I HAVE A HEADACHE!!! tooth aches x.x
Dam it! Sad de lor :(
Think its the hot weather ba, then rain, then hot =_=
And been following my mum out alot,
Helping her with her epf stuff, big stuff, small stuff, stuff
Also been rotting abit in my room,
watching dvd's ..huhu..
And this morning, my hand itchy go and update to latest msn..
Click~ Ahhh!! fug fug fug fug =x
Then had to keep reinstalling old, ahhh.. long story..
In short, its fixed =_=
That word reminds me of something which is still not..
MY PC! zzzzz **()&#@@&()_
Sian.. now he call me find my MB de cd..wth?
2 yrs ago whr to find? I look at the boxes in the store room i also wan ki siao d >.>
Been having sleepless nites..though my body tells me im really tired..
i juz cant seem to fall asleep.. and end up sleeping in the wee hrs of the morning..
So, im emo'ing n moody and not having enuf sleep..
Pls do not irritate me more..u wont win =x
Other than that, pretty mundane stuff..
I dono if i shd rattle on n on abt my day day happenings..hmmm
All i knw is, ive been eating alot more than normal zzz
Not cool lor..after i lost all tat weight in KL..
And after saying all that, here i am eating cendol on a rainy day...=_=
Wat a doink!
Wat else? hmm.. doggie had a haircut ytd..and we bought him tis cutest little shirt!! =x
Lol..ok ba..
I shall not continue to bore u ppl with my lame and uninteresting posts d..
So, cheers peeps and have a great remaining of week :)
"how is it that even with ppl ard me, i still feel alone?"

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Have you ever..

felt so helpless, hopeless, lost and dont knw wat to do to make it better
that u end up juz sitting there staring blankly into the 4 corners of your room?
Im so not in the mood now..
Not in the mood to talk,
Not in the mood to audi,
Not in the mood to care,
Not in the mood for anything.
I feel like the Queen of Bad Timing...
No matter wat i do, it will nvr be enuf..
Im so tired.
I juz pray that it will be alright..every single day.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My doggie loves whip cream!!! =X

Hmm..ignore the title, its a random thing
coz i was spraying whip cream from the can to my mouth and my dog ran up to me,
stood on its hind legs and wanted some.. cute can? xD
Anyway, another update on my mundane yet somewhat blissful life..
Im back in Penang..yup, home sweet home :)
Mum actually cleared the back room for my pc n sweet
Maybe they scared i make too much noise until very late =x
Life is calmer for me these few least im nt as lonely or as stressed..
I did some very stupid things during my last few days there..
Things i did coz i felt i didnt knw who i was anymore..
Or how to listen to my heart, that it was juz telling me lies and hurting me..
How my perceptions of ppl are becoming horrible..trusting wrong ppl :(
In the end, though there were alot of heartaches, alot of drinking, alot of crying..
I also learnt who are the ppl who truly cared..who really was worried..
And i love them more for it..
I love u..
The 3 words which i thought i wont say so easily again...
When i thought abt it, i was being unfair to the ppl who truly deserved those words..
All i needed was time to climb over that mountain of hurt..and i did :)
The only that sucks now is my pc doesnt work T_T
Im least i knw i will :)