Thursday, July 31, 2008

Promises..?

Dont make them unless you intend to keep them..

Will you promise to be there when im down?

Coz i dont want to force you to do something you wont be able to do...


<3s~

Sigh...

House moving again!!! x.X sigh...

After so many times of doing it...still cant get used to it...I mean we've moved ever so often...longest we've ever stayed in one house was for about 10 years...

We always move on the shortest possible notice...in 2 weeks? 1 week? Wth..we have alot of things u know =x God forbid if we ever run out of jobs, we can always be professional movers..lolz..

After we've found the place and decided to move..then comes the "Thats not mine, thats urs, why do i have to carry this?, can we please throw this all away?" sighhhh...thinkin abt it makes me tired..

And the whole moving day...ack, splutter, bleh~..don even go there..

Clean, pack, move, unpack, clean....hmmmm..nt very cool..

Why do we have so much junk???

Bla...pack to packing i suppose...*grumble mumble &%$@!$^&*

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Ramblings..?

And for another episode of mag's ramblings....bleh~

These past 4 days has been hectic for me..well not all actually, i did have some relaxin time...peace n quiet, nice cool weather, juz some rest time xD...Was at Genting on Friday and stayed on until Sat...Havent been up there for awhile..though i must say alot of the things haven change much but it was still fun^^ and to think i havent even stepped in the casinos before..yeayea..alot of reasons why i nvr went in last time =x it was quite cool lor..watchin ppl playin...and some of them take out like a few thous at a time @_@ ...i din play..not much of a gambler =x thought i would have a chance to play later at nite coz i was still tired over the trip down ( i took the midnite bus..uwek..:P) but my companion slept like a zhu! zzz...couldnt wake him up also! bleh!

Actually took some pics of my trip de but my pics kenot open T____________________T shooooo sadd lar :((

On sat went for the HS5 event in KL...din really want to go actually, but then oh well..went also in the end(don ask -.-||) Kept quiet most of the time..coz din want ppl to knw who i was =x i very shy de ok =x=x=x anti social? :P wat wor..im like de ma...either u love me or hate me nia lor...i don really care ^^

After that went window shopping...i want LCD MONITOR!! I WANT MY VAIO!! =X sigh...i wan so many things lor..my money kenot dry yet T.T kill me pls...

Walked ard KL shopping malls..but not really much to see coz been goin down quite frequently and i already knw wat i wan to buy !!!! bleh bleh bleh~

Wanted to leave on that same nite but was tired so stayed over another nite in kl and left early in the morning..bus x.x ... reached penang almost 2plus d..then went str8 to classes (continuin my studies d btw^^). Classes ended at 7pm and went home..

Jeng Jeng Jeng* this is when i found out im suppose to go kl again wif sis..zzzzzzzzzzz..slept for abt an hr then left home to take the bus down again..ack!
Im taken for granted by alot of ppl..sigh..sad but true :( somemore kena scold de..sad sad..

Reach KL at 5am x.x .. loitered in McD's until abt 7am then went elsewhere for more coffee..started to go to the embassy (sis applyin for work permit to UKs) at 7.30...reached quite early lor..abt 8.30..her appointment was 9..so i waited at the coffee hse at the lobby..another coffee...zomg lor..3 cups in 3 hrs!! high on sugar intake that morning and was quite sot sot..whoever who spoke to me tat morning sure kena d..

Well bro was suppose to fetch us back coz he had to come down and take back his customers car..so waited and loitered in shoppin malls again..lolzz..bought a few stuff..will post piccy later..walked until feet blisters d..darn tired lor..bro reached and gave us wrong directions to his place -.- and we had to walk again..walao far ok..under hot sun somemore..i saw my feet ytd..gt 2 shades d..bla..and he blame us for not listening..zzzzzzzzzzzzz..even the taxi driver also din knw whr it was and was asking me lor!! Problems wif the car delayed our journey back some more..aircon problem x.x heng it could work in the end but we couldnt adjust the temp and was so bladi cold x.x and couldnt off radio also..imagine when u reach places wif no reception how noisy the radio would be? all of us tot our ears rosak d...kept hearing noises lolz..

Well reached penang again at almost 8..which was quite fast( bro was driving 160kmph..erk..couldnt sleep =x)quite jammed..and bro was scared we would run out of petrol lol..tat would be another ^*&^$@ ..lucky it didnt..Reached home sweeet homee at 8.20..yay! finally..

That has been my adventure...long blog? i actually shortened it ady..imagine wat i went through...did not get more than 3 hrs rest in that 36hrs..Back pain, ear pain, head pain..jus alot of pain..blah..

<3s~

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Im sorry but....

I have to let you go..words cannot describe how i feel right now..Though ive always said that you're stuck wif me..guess im setting you free..?

I hope i at least made our last days together happy and if i seemed out of there and down...it was becoz i was thinking of what i was goin to do..

You will forget me that i know..very soon..sooner than u expect actually..coz i know u too well..even as i type this i knw that u will have moved on..If you had to ask why im doing this then u never really knew me..all i can say is - you cant have it all...

For sayin you will always be there for me...sayin u will nvr hurt or lie to me..all i can say is im sorry ive also hurt u and made u sad..

I will truly miss you..more than u can possible imagine..but i will soon be the girl who emos too much and you will come to terms that you are really better off without me...

Despite it all, I still love you...i think i always will..and no one will ever take your place in my life as u have...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

All i wanted was...

...for you to let me know..

For me to hear it from you..and not from some stranger which you called a friend and now say that they cant be trusted..For that person to tell me what u were up to instead of you..How am i suppose to understand at all if you never said anything in the 1st place?

It made me think of all the other times which u nvr said anything but ignorance is bliss, so i let it pass..

I trust you but u need to let in me in..and not shut me out when u feel like it..u told me ur learning day by day..and im so happy that you are..

Im not angry, juz disappointed..

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My thoughts....

Been a busy week, not really busy but with the new job there's juz been alot of things to do..First week is always the "sit ard like an idiot" week..lolzz..thats when u watch wat other ppl do...in my case..i keep to myself n observe :) What do i look at? People i call my colleagues, bosses, blablabla.. I like to know who i can tell office stuff to, ppl to stay away from (i don really stay away juz say "ya ya" when they tell me stuff lolz) who are the ones who always works, and the ones who juz sit ard and talk to the boss's secretary...hahaha..and in the end when they do talk to me..i already knw wat they're like :P

Its true..i nvr actually noticed it myself but a good friend and ex colleague of mine once said to me.."i thought u were the quiet one but it seems like you've knwn us for a long long time to knw wat we're up to before we even do it" hahaha...cool rite? yea i know..im cool..bleh~

It might be a gift or it could be a curse...at times i overanalyse ppl's thoughts and i tend to think alot..sigh..why cant i trust ppl :( i wan so badly to be able to be happy again and stop my (as someone said to me recently) screwed up thinking.. i knw that most of the times im right but i also shd knw i can be wrong..

Even if u say ur used to it, it shdnt be that way..it nvr shd be..i hurt myself by hurting you..i will try to be happy k? <3s~

Audi and HS5 has been slow..lolz..not much action there..due to the sometimes lagginess in HS5 and the always laggin audi -.-" bla..

Anyway thanx babe for the hair xDDD..now all i wan is to do some more experiments with some of the photos ive taken..how ar TT...nvm i shall prevail! akakaka...

Until there's a way i can post nicely here.. pls go see my friendster albums for the pics..lolzz.

Tried posting them here...hmm not veli nice TT...

I SHALL PREVAIL! =x

Friday, July 18, 2008

:(

Don like feeling helpless,

To be unable to do anything when u need someone saddens me..

It wasnt u that i was mad with, it was more wif myself :(

If u understood me..u would knw that it was my own helplessness, my own insecurities that made me say and do the things to you..

I realised that u can actually be happy without me..so

Im sorry i made u sad more..

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Heh...

A picture a day ok? Took quite a number tonite but not really nice ><

Babe help!!! T_T.....



Not happy wif the outcome though..NOT HAPPY!!=x

I wan more nicer pics!! Bleh~

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Peeeektures?

Hmmm... was asked to put more pickytures on my blog...why why why??? My blog boring ar? T_T

Bla..

I will never put personal photos of mine here ok? So forget abt tat..Been loading alot of audi and hs5 pictures on my friendster though :) go see go see..nice or not? :P...

Just did one for hs5 tonite...juz came back from kl after 2 days of non stop walking.. accompanied my sis to make her visa to the uk's...had to go quite alot of places lor...and it was raining :( wet wet wet TT..

Had a string of bad luck..seriously..one after another in juz tat 2 days..and when we finally got to go home..even the bus tat we took played tricks with us..long story short..TIRED!! my back aches, my butt hurts, and did i mentioned tired? lolzz..

And we need to go again to collect the visa..hmmm...seriously reconsidering going again...so not cool..hahaz

Been playing abit of hs again as i said in my earlier posts since it came out with the new version..so here's a pic of ano's new look :P


Cute cute? i know im cute :P

Must say the colors in hs5 are really nice..so shall take more photos and post ok? I wan to take piccys of my zhu since he was the one requested :P

I wan to change my blog background!! =x

Ok need to rest le..really tired and i have blisters on my toes -.-||

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Heartache..

Saddened wif my unimportance in life to other people..

The feeling that i really dont belong anywhere..

Having that in the real world already sucked, but to have that feeling even when ur in game? Major sucky..i mean big time..sighz..

Saddened that once im not ard, ppl don remember me anymore..don even think abt me :(

I do you know... think abt old frens..thinking how they're doing, if they're happy..

Guess ima idiot huh?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

....

Holidays are almost over...time to work again :( lolzz

One part of me feels sad..cant sleep in late anymore, cant sleep too late anymore @_@, cant be a slacker anymore :P! But then i suppose its ok le..ive had my rest and time to work d..i was feeling abit sian ady lolzz...Lucky my new job is flexible de..so can not be in the office most of the times de..kekeke..

Audi ~ anoili is now Master liao!!! Wootz!! Hehe...hmm and then wat? Ive decided..no more levelling for her..anyway wont be so fast ady...



Other than that, have been playin a bit of hs5 again d..since they have a new version ady..its ok i suppose..got nice songs to play..even if i dont play can still stick ard and listen to music XD..

Been playing ard with friendster...like my page? :P ...bored leh...eh i wan to change my blog background!! T_T help me..nvm i go do some research..lolz...

Ok time to sleep for abit..last nite slept at 6am..was watching CSI lolzzz..now tired as hell x.X havent slept well for 2 nites ady...

P/s: I miss you..

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Bla..

Im really not liking myself at this moment..

Im insecure and demanding...

Im controlling and need to know everything...

Hmmm...i have some serious issues here...

Bah! Bah! Bah!

Can i blame it on that time of month? :P

Blame myself..lolz...

Do you hate me? :(

I need some happiness...

i need....a Vaio..LOL!=x

<3s~

Friday, July 4, 2008

Irritated...FULL STOP!

Annoyed at the lack privacy im given..like it doesnt matter..juz becoz i don mind alot of things does not mean i don wan it..its juz a matter of wat..

Maybe im blowing this out of proportion but i mind! I need space and not ppl breathing down my neck..

Its my fault ba..im the one to be blamed..im way too emotional..

Maybe the reason why im feeling tis way is coz lately ive been having fears of being left behind...Of being forgotten..so i put up my defenses and try to not let anyone too close..im scared that i wont be needed anymore :(

Never say never, so don make promises that u don intend to keep and forever only exists in fairytales..at least in my world it does..

I suppose it would be best if im left alone..rite?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

x.X

Lately since i stopped working, have been taking my dog out for its daily walks..and when i say walks, i mean runs..lolz..

For those who have never seen my dog before..its small little fella..a mix between a terrier and a poodle..but wat i really think or rather wat he thinks he is..is a Rottweiler -.-.. Do you know that i have to carry ard a big stick for his ermm "walks" coz he has the tendency to jio bigger dogs?? ZzzzZZ..

And when i say bigger dogs..i mean BIG DOGS..german shepards, huskies T_T BIG DOGS!! *gulps* .. its like going out to the battlefield when i do it >.> skedddddddd..huhu..

So instead of walking in the park like any normal dog..we walk the backways =.=|| the only way to actually get home in one piece is to tire the hell out of him..so we run run run run until he cant run no more..lolzz..but that would also mean me runnin wif him :(

In a way its also a good thing for both of us..he gets his walks and we both get to exercise ;) its sort of a warm up for me before i go to workout class..hahaz..

Also been going to interviews lately..i knw i already have a job but i can still look ard rite :P juz wan to knw how high my salary can actually go^^ well proud to say..almost all the interviews i went to wanted me..hahaha..blek..im so lovable..lalala..ok bth myself d *shivers*

Shall still look though..i wont be working until the 15th anyway...who knws wat i will find rite? xD

Ok..back to my Hongkie drama for now =D..

<3s~

I'm tired....

If tats the way you want it...so be it..i refuse to say anything else..but this..

Im sorry..

This is the last time i will say this to you..

As hard as it is for me to do this..but

I give up...Do watever u wish..

I have nothing more to say..