Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Manager just called in to say still not coming in today, not feeling 'well' yet.. i didnt know u actually shit until 2 days >_> Whatever! *i think she also nothing to do, thats why ponteng* lol..

Sigh, im getting restless.. until to the point that i open FB also feel sick x.x

Chatting with a lame ass dude *he wishes to remain anynomous* who sent me what he was doing WHILE waiting for his gf to wake up and studying for his quiz =.= Still, entertainment for me lol :p

LOL! If only my pc can do this too, or just half of it ill be very happy dy ...hmmm :p

Damn it, i wanna go home now! =.=

P/s: Forced to re-edit ><. Dam u lame ass dude :x
Oopsie! Forgot to save a post for tuesday, and its past 12 dy ><. Lol..i knw, ive become sort of a blogging freak. And to top it off, i cant believe i seriously have things to blog about everyday o.o; and i say my life is mundane....i guess its nice to read about boring stuff huh? :D.

I read back some of my 1st posts in 2007, and went..omg! did i say all those things? Why do i sound so so so? Omg omg *gasps* omfgwthbbq? *slaps forehead* ima speechless =.= Mentality advisory is recommended if any of u intends to read back ><.

Work was quiet today, manager didnt come, diarrhoea apparently (lol? she eats like non stop through out the day..go figure) Bosses didnt come in either, had some appointments outside (yay!) me and colleague were still betting they might come in 5.30.. but they didnt! :D Still, i dont remember how i passed my time, coz i was getting nauseous looking at fb :S I remember working all my sub accs and ivan's ffs, babe's cafe and bounced a pets value...yes, i was a damn busy woman D:

The weather is really horrid these few days, when its hot, its hot, when it rains, its hotter ><. Just not a very cool feeling =\

Horrid net connection tonite.. tagged with the gang fr a cpl of rounds and afk'ed for dinner. Came back and started dc'ing like nobody's business. I think i must have restarted modem like x214678209218 times =.=" after abt almost 1/2 hr of alot of swearing n cursing the modem, occasionally thinking of throwing it out of the window, it finally stabled ><. Managed to warm up a few games fr compy only to have me dc again in middle of game and when i was chaining again T_____________________T am so not a happy camper now.

Tagged awhile with babe, and went over to diana n ahp's room. Gratz diana on reaching Superstar ~ :) Played a cpl of rounds of extremely laggy games, gave up and logged off b4 i start killing something or myself D:

I gotta find me a teddy bear to so in need of some right now..

Im still apprehensive.. i asked Shaun earlier what he thought about my post and he said that most guys are not interested in stuff that i talked about. They'll just go 'whatever' and forget all about it. Maybe he's right abt why i still do it, i needed to release, a place to spill it all out.

Are u being extra nice to me just to make me happy again? Im still trying to comprehend the reasons for ytd...will i be deserted again when u have a new friend and want to hv 'peace' without me? I dont know ..

Monday, March 29, 2010

Another day, another week, and almost another month..

Everything around me is changing with time, but somethings will never change, well at least i hope it wont.

Another blue Monday, came and went. Still had that bad headache from ytd almost felt like taking sick leave again but then didnt wanna stay at home. Uneventful work day, but not so in other aspects of my life.

Shan't dwell much on it, all i can say is that i felt neglected at some point. And my attempt on a convo was unresponsive, hence i decided to stay silent. Left out? Yes. But that was it. I wasnt upset that u didnt want to help but more of the way u said it, like i had done something very wrong and made u angry.

Yes, we shd always do what we want, but does that mean we shd care only when we want to? Its not that i get angry whn u say u don feel like doing anything, i just cant comprehend why its only directed at me when u seem simply chatty n happy at the same time when we're ard other ppl.

Went home, played abit by myself to warm up for exp comp. 1st round and i was in 1st place + chaining and actually winning keichi. Suddenly screen stopped moving and though i prayed that it will move again, it didnt. All i saw next was a blank screen. Logged back in and well that was that. Perfect way to end my Monday. Played awhile with ahp n diana, who was at 1st in a cold war lolz, and then it turned out all right awhile later :)

Logged out, played my ritual fb games and sleeping soon. Mundane? If u only knew :)

I lost the only color in my life and i lost the only life in me..

I sat there and read,
Every perception you had of me, every word used to describe me,
Was like a knife stabbing my heart, over n over again, till i couldnt hear its beats anymore.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Harpie harpie Sunday my fellow compariots of this very very very hot & unforgiving land..

Yes yes, ive kinda lost it abit..coz today was seriously the worst sunday ever, in terms of, i couldnt even sleep for at least 10mins without breaking into a cold sweat ><. Migraine got so bad to one point that i felt like banging my head against the wall D:

Had Jp class in the morning, really sleepy lol.. its a miracle i stayed awake till the end. But i guess the bad jam on the way to the office coz of Cheng Beng sort of woke me up. In the end, was abt 1/2 hr late for class x.x and the minute i sat down, sensei asked if i was ready to give my keitai denwa bangou (h/p no :p) in Jp. Lucky im smart :X

Anyway, its gonna be more convos in the classes to come, so yeah, its still cool :)

Was really tired and like i said, tried sleeping the whole afternoon but couldnt even do that :( so ended up watching movies that i cant remember dy..hmmm..i think there was Meet Dick n Jane somehere in there lol.

Wanted to join exp comp at nite, bt head was throbbing like crazy so just logged out intead, fell asleep for abt an hour and woke up, bathed for like the longest time to cool myself ><. Just popped meds frm doc last time, hopefully it works.

Oh well, Monday blues are here again. And yes, baby ur right, it wouldnt stress me out so much if i loved the job, problem is, i dont, but i still need work right? I wish i could get the job ive been dreaming of, but nothing is perfect in life is it? We still need to carry on, even with all the shit that comes with it.

Have a great week ahead guys .. and i shall try to survive mine for another week..~

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Why am i left outside? Isolation is cute.. :)

Just finished sticking ang paos and chinese new year cards on the walls of my office. Yes, u read right...and ur prolly thinking why right? Hmm...2 words.. Feng Shui.. or is that 1 word? Anywayyy, yea.. bosses called up early in the morning asking me to shift this and that, asking me about carpets in the office O_O and the color of the clock on the wall next to me O_O!

No comments.

Did as i was told, coz frankly working on saturday is just well, blah. And now i have a funny wall in the office with angpaos and cards .. hmmmm. They want to move another area too, where all the office files are and put the machineries there @_@; and tat place is sort of the center of the office le...again..

No comments.

Lol..seriously, ytd was abit annoying that they got us shifting stuff, today its become kinda amusing..h-a-h-a. Im sure we're gonna be flooded with projects now! Woots! (note: though it might seem sarcastic, its really not...:x)

Oh wells, killing time by posting nonsensical stuff, and i dont even know if i will post this lol..

Ok, time to look for other nonsensical stuff to do :S

Morning peeps...a very early morning that is :)

Currently watchin some anime while goin through FFS.. since meimei has already moved home, was thinking of getting back some old pets to my place. I mean, why keep the money when i rather keep the company of the ppl i like? Lolz.. yea yea, very poetic justice indeed..

Work was screwed up as usual today, head still very heavy from fever on Thursday and was getting drowsy with the meds. Plus the heat was absolutely unforgiving today. It only rained when it was abt time to go hm, and luck have it that i didnt have an umbrella to get to car =.= Like i said, the shit keeps coming. Ran under the rain, hopefully i wont get any repercussions from tat.

Reached hm, had some porridge fr dinner and slept for awhile. Oh ya, did i mention, bosses got some feng shui dude to come over to office and reshuffle the luck (more like the furniture). And the place is in an even bigger mess than previously >_> Whn will ppl learn, its not the arrangement of chairs and tables or whatever, but who you are that determines the luck u get and the karma in this case. When will they learn, they need to start being more considerate to their suppliers and nt give them shit when payment time comes? Honestly, some ppl will nvr learn :)

Went into audi, well attempted to try playin on this god forsaken pc. It would hv been easier to pull the trigger to my head. I seriously dont get wats wrong with it and why it now breaks, the songs i mean, in game. Its really depressing when sometimes all i need to just play to forget.

But still i played anyway.. after tagging some exp for diana, we went to f1 to recruit new fam members. Found 2, quite nice players ba.. well hopefully lol :) Left a little after 11 to bath and also didnt want to over exert the stress of playin under very laggy conditions.. i kinda miss joining exp comp :( Sigh...

This past week, i havent seen or played with u at all..and yet i knw hw intent u are on getting to what u intended to do. Yes, i did feel left alone and kinda deserted but i let u be. Even tonite, i knew u were on, i didnt bug u to join me, all i wanted was fr u to at least say hi, or just let me knw u were there.. but all u could ask me to do, was to leave u alone. I think i might, coz im tired and i give up.

Oh wells, have a good weekend guys...ciaoz :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Happy TGIF people~ :)

Was actually on mc today, woke up with a heavy head and bad tummy pain :S And since i wasnt really in the mood to work, called up the office and took sick leave. Didnt really sleep much though in the end, dam phone keep going off, god knows wat sms, frm office, frm boss, wth man.. im nt as busy when im actually at work =.=

Woke up at about 12'ish and it was hot hot goodness x.x anyway, had lunch and watched some old dvd's (stolen frm bro's room..walao him..keep so many shows we didnt know of >_>) while doing stories in audi. I think i watched abt 3 or 4 dvds o.o.. next thing i knw, it was 8pm le.. lolz..

Audied awhile by myself and later for a few games with ahp n diana, and left..dam pc really annoying me..sigh..keeps eating up my bar and skipping randomly. Fk man, it now worse than b4 i had my last repair..and why do i hv a feeling my ram is slower? Really getting frustrated dy =\

So not in the mood to work tomoro, just getting very depressed with alot of things lately. Though i try to cheer myself up and think as positively as i can and forget about whatever stuff that is bothering me, the shit just keeps coming. I dono, really i dont know what or how i shd feel anymore.

And, believe it or not, i didnt do all that for you to get something back. I did it coz i could help and i wanted to. But when i told u was unwell today, i was just hoping the least u could do was say, get well soon? :(

I nvr forced you into anything, it was ur own decision, a promise u made almost 2 weeks ago. A promise u so enthusiatically agreed to do. Something which would have taken 5mins of your time and would hv made me very happy has become a pressure to you? Im sorry to have added to ur stress then..

Ah well, off to bed. Another sad sad working saturday ><.. I wonder what i should do tomoro to pass the time..hmmm...

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Just finished watching CSI - LV and well its pass 2am dy. Thinking i shd sleep, but feeling dam unwell.. and i just noticed my eyes are red again..sigh..Shd i take mc tomoro? :(

Anyway, had Jp class earlier..It was ok, had a little dictation test on hiragana, and i think i made some boo boos D: Bad memory lately, but then again, i have no problems remembering sentences or words..hmmm.. selective memory? Lolz. I will jy to remember de ba, guess im nt used to it and havent been using it much...jyjy me :)

Just made it in time for class though, and i kinda dont like being there and the class starts. I like to be at the places im intended to be at least 1/2hr b4 so i can relax and get into the mood..Lol :S. It not weird ok? Quite normal D:

And i blame my bladi boss for trying to make me late like last week again. Like i said, manager nvr came in, and so did the lady boss. Wonder what their up to? Oh wells, dont really care. Dude came in though and at his most loved time.. 4.30.

Normally i wouldnt have any problems with him coming in, bt like i said b4, he has serious time management issues. I think he thinks we jz came in for work and starts throwing 20odd pages of docs to scan and send out by email. =.= Does it matter that the scanner is like at the other end of the office? No. Does it matter that i have to send out almost 5 to 6 emails and it takes me abt 10mins to get one to send out? Nop. I still do it. Even when my colleague who was suppose to get something frm boss' house, suddenly miss calls my hp (i hate it whn he does it, cheapskate) and tell me his motor broke down n is in shop, and continuing on with lame qns and wasting time that i didnt have much of. He only heard me putting down his call. Tmd. Dont annoy me at times like tis =.=

Then boss comes with another file and asks me to send those out and taking his sweet time to choose =.= its already 5.45 k? Serious veins popping. Its only time in the entire week i need to go off sharp, and they know that. And i tell him i need to leave soon and he gives me that look. Tat annoying "i dont care" look and continues being an ass. Sigh. Dono what to say.

I give up. Really. On everything for now. I just feel i need to breathe, and sleep the entire day and not worry about anything or anyone.

P/s: I dont even know when ill post this. For now, ill just keep on writing.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I give up.

Did you know that u can actually level by visiting your neighbours in Cafe World? Hmmmm? Did ya? Did ya?

Totally random i know :S Seriously dying at work hence had to post some utter nonsense, coz it was either this or jumping out my office window O_O; Anyway, yes i did do it. Visited my neighbours in cafe world and leveled lol :X I wouldnt have ever done it, but there's dude who cut my lvl a cpl of weeks ago and ive been meaning to cut back =.=

Woohooo! Kiasu-ism rocks baby! :x

BUT! Rest assured i would nvr do it ever ever again. This only works when ur net and pc does not lag till thy kingdom comes. Hmmm, maybe i will if irritating dude cuts me again D:

Manager is on emergency leave today, so the mice are out to play yeah right. I think im losing my marbles soon :S Kill me kill me kill me nao please....!!

Can u sense my desperation? Can can can can?? njasiofjiagap[fgoaeqo-gtgslgkb ><.

Bah! Time to jump out the window .. !

P/s: I really need a new job soon :x
Its the middle of the week again o.o Time really is flying by faster n faster as the years go by. I distinctly remember telling my colleague tat it was fast to be March and now its almost April :O

And its gonna a year that im gonna be here in May lol. Cant believe i actually survived a yr here. Yes, there's been alot of rants and whining and complaining and etc etc...but hey, once its off my chest, im ready for another day...until another thing happens and i start my rants/whines/complains again :D

Other than telling it here, i seriously got no where else to talk to. Family is fine and everything but sometimes i just someone to listen and not judge me or tell me what i shd do and not do.

Anyway, work was erm, eyes tiring. Was looking at drawing plans the entire day. Well at least i learnt some new stuff today, which is kinda cool :) Having another tendering project in town, so guess its back to getting quotes and suppliers..

Manager has been coming in extremely late these few days and leaving extra early O_O.. oh wells, none of my business anyway. Just as long as she stays out of my zone, im fine :)

Came home, audied abit, and i really suck leh :( Even joined compy to boost my concentration but it came out cc4, in which i died. Good thing is, i c3'ed all the way, even if i did miss lol.. so am still proud of nooby me ><. Hahaha :x Dont care le, am forcing myself to chance no matter what =.=

Played with lacry and the gang for abit and seriously full room - max lag ><. Sighs again n again lol :S

Came out, played my normal FB games and here i am, posting 2 posts at once coz i was thinking of the correct words to say for the other one. I still think i didnt said the things in my head, but the ppl i know shd know what im trying to say :)

Time for sleep~! Ciaoz!!

P/s: My friggin problem was, you couldnt and didnt even wan to try to do it for me, to just spare me 10mins of your time and accompany me fr a few rds. I guess it was just asking too much of you.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Maybe we should all be praying for time..

Was actually considering taking mc today, couldnt wake up at all, or rather didnt really wanna wake up. But had to take some drawing plans to photocopy, so had to drag my cute butt out of bed ><. Maybe i shdnt have watched "Yes Man" last nite lol.. but then i distinctly watching halfway and getting up and off'ing the player o.o lol :x

Wanted to join comp last nite, but it was so laggy that when i clicked to enter, it frozed and i got 202th =.= I dont knw if streamyx is really that sucky recently or is it jz my pc. Fug sia =\

Whole morning has been spent looking at plans plans eyes have gotten abit @_@; and also my webby design, which is almost done...jz need some creative words which apparently is eluding me..boos..

Been in and out of zombie mode since saturday. Somehow, seeing that acc, that name again brought alot of memories, mostly painful ones.

A friend was asking me, hw she shd talk to someone again when they met after the last incident hurt her alot. But it was also unfinished and she needed closure. Then she asked me, "We dont really forget do we?"

That sort of got me thinking of the past which i had thought was long forgotten. How we say we forgive and forget but one little thing brings it all back and the hurt that came with it. At times i really wonder why i still am ard. But the I guess we weigh out the good and the bad times. Do all the good times overweigh the bad? Or does the bad overshadow what was good?

I read a short story somewhere earlier, about hw a father got his son to hammer a nail into a fence everytime he was angry, and when the son wasnt angry anymore, he told him to take it all out for everytime he wasnt angry. Then he took his son to the fence and said to him "This fence will nvr be the same again, coz when u say things in anger, they leave marks like this on these holes on the hearts of others. You can stab a person and withdraw the knife, and no matter how many times u say ur sorry, the wound will still remain"

So, how do we trust again? If we didnt matter the 1st time it happened when they said with conviction they would nvr do such things, how would we be able to know it will nvr happen again?

The answer? We wont. The real qn is, is it worth it?

Is it worth, letting down our guards again and trusting that they knw hw much it hurt the 1st time to nvr do it the 2nd time? Well sadly, 99% of the time, it does, doesnt it? And the 3rd, and the 4th.... round round it goes, where it ends nobody knows.

Lol. Life is a bitch isnt it?

Im still having fears of history repeating. Could you help me cure a little bit of those fears away? If i asked you to, would you do it for me?

Somehow, I dont think you will :)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Yay! New skin :DDD~!

Lololol....doing this instead of eating lunch :x And it took me about 20mins? Simple coding ba, and just pluck and put in :p Dont know why i dont have much appetite since last week @_@ Which is good i guess? Can lose weight! Rawr! :D

And im stuck on the webby for work. Brain blocked and out of ideas. This will sort of unclog my brain? :S my font size too small? Are u guys going blinder which each change i make? I dono why ppl make the fonts so damn small ._. but then again, i have good eyesight, so it looks ok to me :p!

Tell me , tell me kk? Lol...omg im suddenly so hyper x.x Must be the 2nd cup of coffee i just had ><.

Sian, back to work.....Monday blues ahhh T_T~

Sunday, March 21, 2010

"Why do we worry over things we have no control over?"

Its been a tiring Sunday x.x i kinda regret not resting more, and spent the entire day in audi trying to lvl myself up by doing countless story modes. I dont think ive ever logged in audi so many times in one day. Now my eyes are tired, my brain is kinda lagging and my fingers wont listen to a word my brain is telling it to do. Not tat brain knows what its talking about =.= all this in time for when im suppose to be taking my lvl 54 license. Sigh. Ive decided, if i cant pass, ill leave it at 53 Irritated.

Not to mention my pc is really getting on my nerves d.. i dont knw what else to do with it, screen keeps freezing, cant even perf properly and lags like what. Not to mention, i dono why there like so many pop ups. Wth did the dude install? The whole thing is really bumming me out.

Watched a few old movies in the afternoon while i was lvl'ing my self up, and did lie down for abt 1/2 hr? Maybe. I dont know. All i know is Sunday is ending and Monday is tomoro. Sheesh...

Saw someone i really dislike also in audi. Some ppl will just nvr go away, and its so bad luck that i bump into them. They just remind me of some of the saddest things that happened to me in audi. But then, im trying to not let them get the best of me, and spoil my mood and not to mention, day. I really wonder at the back of my mind, if i will get hurt again because of these people. Although alot of qns come into my head if anything happened, or will happen, i will never know the truth. I just hope i wont feel the hurt i did a few months ago.

Ahp and Diana helped me tag my last 2% and finally it was license time. Total blurness, not to mention crazy lag and screen and bar even froze. Sigh. Pc is making me unhappy by the day =\, 2nd rd, i kept missing, just totally tired and only in the last 20secs did i managed to chain alot, bt still lacking ard 100k :( few other times were the same results and i felt abit down le ba. It shd be so easy to pass, i dono why im so friggin noobish. Then stared fr abt 1/2hr then only tried again. In the end, babe did it for me ba.. thanks ya babe :) But still feeling down abt it though.

The most dens ive gotten in game lol...the most i ever got was about 5k i think..
kinda surprised me when i saw 14k o.o lol~

Oh wells, time to sleep ba, and yes, its Monday again..


P/s: There was a reason i wanted to do it myself,
coz i wanted to prove to myself and to you that i could do it,
that im not hopeless in audi.. but guess i am huh?
And the way u reacted after it all, sorta proved to me that i am..

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Hello world on a Saturday~ :)

Sorry this is gonna be a late post, its actually already Sunday morning lol :X Just has been an extremely looong day @_@; So long that this page has actually been opened since, well, i cant remember when? ><.

Friday, came and left. And im not even done with the website yet. Fkety fug! I might have to do over the weekend, that being said, i actually only have tomoro, or to be more precise, few hours frm now. Man, im screwed. When i tot bosses were gonna throw a fit for not finishing it yet, later they were ok le when i showed them wat i had :X asdsadafdjafioefofpafl;fka;sd!!!! =.=

Came hm, found ivan in audi and helped him with his story, 5rds of sync 8 x4, seems simple huh? Not really, esp when ur laggin and audi is being a bitch :X Took us abt 2hrs just to do that x.x

Played with an old aquintance after that, someone i havent seen for more than a year now. Hmmm.. he was an ex audi cpl? Lol. Maybe :) Anyway, he helped with ivan's story and sort of stayed on and we played together fr abit. Halfway playing, he said he didnt expect me to talk to him moreover play with him anymore after what happened. I just told him, its all in the past ba. And i suppose it is, coz i nvr felt any loss. i guess he was nvr an impt part of my life :)

Came out to bath and a friend msg'ed to go to her wedding party lol. Babe came in after that and played till abt 2am x.x Thank goodness its the weekends. Sadly, i didnt think i was gonna do well in compy on sat ><.

Work on saturday. Unforgivingly boring. Audied instead lol. No choice ler, compy time is 1pm and i wont have time to warm up :( Left work early just so i can make it back in time :X Reached hm quite early, manatau compy go sot on me. Blue screen'ed 2 times! seriously not happy with my pc le. Already change so many things, what else it wants wor :( Went in and played like ka chui only. Too blur le, and pc n net screwing with my mind. Pek chek ar! I could actually chain whn i was practising bt went in comp room, full hse = dieded.

Sad sad sad with pc n myself :(

Helped ivan with the rest of his stories after that, but his stories are the worst, coz frm 41 to 60 we need ppl for most of them =.= reminded me of mine whn i did it. And i did on my own! So proud of myself :D Well of coz, my pro babe helped :p Tagged with ivan after couldnt get some of the stories done and babe was tired and was going to rest. And finally.. Gratz ivan on reaching ur main lol :D I also levelling soon leh, 15% ..tot of doing some stories to help abit, bt tired as hell.

Guess thats about it. Currently watching Xmen, its sorta my inspiration thing, i always need to watch a movie to get my posts moving x.x Seriously need to lie down now, eyes getting dry and back hurts like crazy><.

Why do i torture myself on saturdays? Lol.. =\


Was thinking about this afternoon, and im sorry for my silence at times,
Im not like you, i cant talk to random ppl in a room and somehow felt neglected,
I guess im the one who's antisocial huh?
Maybe i felt that u have more fun playin with random ppl then just with me,
U seem to be happier when u are though, ive noticed..

Friday, March 19, 2010

Me is so very very very very sleepy @___@; Can i go home now? Puhlease....?

Am blaming mum for setting me n sis up for a ride last nite (in my heart though lol) coz apparently the seminar that she went to last time wasnt like tat. It was more of and intro of the course and the times and subjects they cover. Not so some "Take me up, lift me higher for a more successful life, and take the risk now or never, dont say cant!" type of seminar =.= I mean it was good on its own way, but totally unprepared for it and i guess so was the majority of attendees lol. The speaker was just too freakishly hyped up >_>"

But hey, im nt condemning the dude, its good to have such a positive outlook on life and everything we do, bt sometimes it can be overwhelming and he at times felt like a over-enthusiatic insurance dude (which btw was what he use to do, explains it eh? :x)

Anyway, skipped lunch again, actually been skipping a lot of meals, havent been in the mood to eat for past cpl of days ..hmmmm x.x

Ahhhhh! Back to work. Just someone, anyone, kill me nao pls?
Happy early morning TGIF peeps~! :)

Its been a freakishly long day since ytd and im basically bladi worn out x.x ~

Wednesday's Jp class was cool, thank god i still remembered my hiragana, but sensei's gonna be giving out a mini test next week to make sure we really remember everything coz we'll soon be only using that in our classes. @_@;; Need to really do alot of memorising this weekend le..

Well, the rest of the night was just a blur and not worth reliving again, too much hurtful words were used, by both of us. Im not sure if its wise for me to stay on, but it will do, for now :) Ima sucker eh? Nvr going through what i say all the time.. =\

Anyway, couldnt sleep well the entire nite, seriously weird dreams again, and its been very cold nites coz apparently sis has been waking up and pushing her fan to me, plus air con = torture. Made me toss n turn at 5 in the morning nia wth =.=

Thursday - not any better. Work - screwed up as usual, seriously, get a knife and stab me =.= I really need to get out of the dam office. Oh ya, finally took car to shop coz temp was getting abit too ridiculously high for comfort. So got to leave office early coz no car :DD

Went hm, audied abit and had to go to some realty seminar mum arranged. GOT DUPED! tmdtmd.. was suppose to be only abt an hr de thing, ended up almost 2.5hrs zzzzzzz...dam sian can. It was more like one those motivational seminars, but fees dam pricey and want us register str8 away de. Bah ~.~ Whole back pain now :((

Wanted to audi abit, bt no one on le...sad. so decided to help ivan with his story lol. Saw 1 2 party! :DD Easy peasy lo :p Wanted to do BU de, bt then, needed 3 other ppl, so had to scrap it, i really got no patience waiting fr ppl, and besides who will stay unless u know de? Lol... And my 4k BU, really not as good :S Ended up doing the 10rds of choreo - and this was the where i suddenly become a dum dum =.=

1st rd - forgot the req, only remember needed chain, somehw remembered x5, so did that. Then finish le, saw only need 4 =.=

2nd rd - couldnt x4 , until at all, then saw, eh passed, guan lai, only needed x3... =.=""" i really dont know hw i saw wrong 2 times wtf.

3rd rd - x1 x2 x3 ...o done le..ok will stop when no more chain....x10 x11 ~ Hahahaha :X let me gloat la~ :p

The rest mundane la.. chain in the 1st 20secs and go rest.. like tagging :p

Lol...Im getting lamer, i need some rest i think :S

Oyasumi nasai~!

P/s: i wanna change blogskin...i wanna i wanna i wanna.! :x

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Tears streamed down my cheeks earlier..didnt think it was possible after for so long, but it did.

Anyway, played my last game of audi with you (thx for coming over, even if it was just one game) and i wont be playin anymore after this. Its no longer brought me joy to log in, and im alone most of the times, so whats the point? Lol..

Ur words hurt me alot today, all i wanted was for u to ask me to join u, but like i said, you only play with ppl who are able to challenge you now, something i will nvr be able to do. U said that u dont even ask anyone. Ive become anyone to you now? I was just an audience. Since u say u dont care anymore, then there's nothing more to say.

Im sorry i accuse, thats the only way i could ever get ur attn. And all u can say is i made u lose. Yea, i guess i am a fked up b1tch.

Do u knw what i do so i dont miss playin with u? I play ur acc. Dumb right? And u asking me why i logged in earlier like u were accusing me of checking on you. Im always wrong in ur eyes.

And thanks for clarifying who i am to you to the ppl u were playin with b4 u left like u do to everyone we know. We wouldnt wnt ppl to misunderstand right? Never. Im jz a pixelised partner, nothing more, nothing less.

U might hate reading this, bt frankly, i dont care anymore too. U might stop coming here, do as u wish but I will not beg for ur attn or for a little bit of ur care. I know ull be happier without me in there, uve proven it me tonite and so many nites b4. Im just an additional baggage that weighs u down, uptight and anti social. I hv so many cons, its a wonder u nvr left huh?

Its funny, there were times when i felt, some ppl overcaring for me, overconcerning and worryin too much for me was suffocating. But then they went away, and i felt lost without it. Maybe thats my karma, only diff is, you wont care if i went away.

Well, Happy 3rd Anni of my blog :) Sadly, will not be having 4th ani of audi'ing and 3rd ani of our audi cpl'ing.

This might be my last post for sometime, we'll see what tomoro brings :)

I asked you not to hate me earlier coz i dint want us to part with you hating me, thank you for everything, ill miss you so much, ull nvr be able to know.


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Falling in love is easy, the hardest part is staying in love .. :)

Sometimes keeping silent and pretending it didnt happen doesnt work.
It wont just go away if we leave it alone,
Its a thorn, and since u will not pull it out for me,
I shall learn to do it myself.

Its been a very long and tiring day. Not to mention hot as hell..

Though work was being its usual boring self, there were other things which lead to my fatigue too. Getting frustrated with work as the day goes by, and yet there's nothing i can do about other than continue until i find another. *prays n keeps fingers crossed*.

Had to go out in the afternoon and my car heating up is also a dam killer. Seriously need to get it checked b4 it blows up lol..

Went home and audied abit, kept dc'ing this evening for some reason. And it was kinda irritating. Wanted to log off but ray asked me to join comp lol. Guess what? I dc'ed in the middle of game, and i was in 2nd =.= oh wells..

Logged off, and sat ard staring at comp, thinking of what to blog. Its been 3hrs and i finally started. Was unable to put todays' events into words. Still cant.

Heading off to bed i guess, extremely exhausted, with work, with everything. Maybe im trying too hard. I should just let everything go.

Nites peeps~ :)


I wonder if u know that im serious about that decision frm you,
Somehow the whole scenario this afternoon kept playin in my mind,
I keep thinking, is this what u do, when im not there?
Why did u tell me otherwise? That u dont do it?
What if one day, one say yes? Would u do what u did the last time that happened?
I dont think i can go through it again, to be deserted for something more exciting n new.

Ill wait till the morning,
If there is still silence from u, then i will know what to do,
I will not be a barrier to you having a good time,
As long as ur happy :)

Because you will nvr see me again,
Not that it matters to you :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Hola world on a Tuesday~ ;)

Been busy watching comedy's the whole nite last nite - Mall Cop & Yes Man, laughing my head off. Guess its been awhile since i laughed like this and i enjoyed it alot :D

Horrid day at work really, but mostly was staring at the pc and lookin at po's after po's, trying to make sense out of the nonsense lol.. Guess what? Its still nonsense ><. Headache whole day ytd man. Like i said, there's a reason why i nvr took accounts =.=

Went home, and found ivan in audi. But was super dam blurry frm whole afternoon and the nite b4's audi-ing ><. Thought i was like on a cloud high above haha :X After a few games, i gave up and told ivan i really needed to rest lol. So we tagged him for abit and he left shortly after that. He so adamant on gettin to main haha..

Joined comp, which was a disaster coz i sucked big time :( missed like xN times =.= Bah. Dont wan to join anymore :x Lol..

Today has been the same, paperwork paperwork, but heading out soon to get some docs to M&E ppl. Hope the day ends soon...really feeling sick to the stomach x.x


To you:

Im sorry i did what i did today,
I feel sick to the stomach and really feel like puking for doing it,
Its the 1st and last time i will ever do something like that,
And im not proud of it, never will be.
I guess, i just wanted a better response from u,
And was wondering why u couldnt do that for me.
It saddens me to see what i saw, coz nw i knw what u do, when im nt ard.

Im sorry if u felt it was scary,
It was nvr intended that way, but if u had did nothing wrong,
Why would u need to feel scared?

I feel hurt, but i wan to apologize for what i did coz of that.
I guess its wrong to feel like crying in the office? :)
Thats hw i feel now, for doing something which was totally not me.
And im disgusted.

But would u have been honest abt ur actions if i was there?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday blues~ D:

Cant believe its that time of the week again, when we drag our lifeless bodies to work ><. Lol..i dont think i slept more than 10hrs in these 3days >_>. Even last nite when i was suppose to go to bed earlier coz since i didnt even nap in the end after coming back frm class ><.

But.. ended sleeping at 3 again. Lol... went in audi to see see but wasnt really in the mood to play coz the net was really off last nite. I had to restart everything in the end so it wasnt so laggy. Sigh. Did badly in compy last nite, couldnt even perf coz screen kept freezing.. sad man :( Even cpl compy when i totally lagged out and lost in the 2nd rd.. i really feel shitty and i know i said i was just not gonna think so much about it, but last nite was really depressing.

Anyway, got caught by ahp and diana when i went in, and 3 songs ended up to be more than 3hrs game. To the extent that i felt i was pressing the keypad but nothin was coming out @_@; Wanted to leave, but they wouldnt let me =.= I wonder why i listened to them though..hmmm..

I guess im just a pushover D:

Its gonna be an ok day i guess, well i hope. Mondays always pass me by without me knowing. Its like when we were kids, before our parents pull out that plaster strip, anticipating pain, but then its done b4 we know it. It still hurts as hell ok, but still, its over. Lol. I know, its a lame comparison, but somehow tat memory suddenly came to mind. I wish i can pull out that plaster on me now..

Oh wells, back to work i guess :)


P/s: Do you know, that even if the whole world told me to my face that i cant play,
It still wouldnt hurt as much as you thinking or treating me like it was true.


あたたかく とけ だして たしかめる の
やさしさ の しずく この むね に ひろがってく
かさねた て はなさ ないで

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Konnichiwa minna~!! :)

Gonna start this post now and end it b4 i go to sleep.. Lol :p Still in a daze frm early morning jp class x.x.. imagine on a Sunday @_@; but then again, i dont have to work, unlike some people :( Sayang ya~ :)

After much memorising last nite (till 3plus x.x) and waking up to almost nothing in memory, safe to say, i actually survived todays class and managed to get the writings ask right! Omedetou me! :D Lolol..:X

Am actually planning to take a short nap, so i wont feel so blur if i wanted to join compy. Thinking i just might ba :) After much self put down and low self esteem frm these cpl of days, i figure, wat the hell, im gonna do my best and not think much about it and just have fun right? And besides, i am pro in my own way...LOL! :X ;shy Right right? I wanna be idolised too :p Hahahahaha! Omg la, im really tired i think >_>"

Just updated my resume for like god dono when i last did it, and am gonna mass spam dy~! Been posting to some export companies, hopefully ill get more good news soon, having my fingers crossed :) Also goin to some seminar on thursday, about realty & property law n stuff lolzz.. Mum wants me to try it out n since ive already tried most of the sales line i could ever try, might as well try this ba :D

Im gonna be so dead tired this week :S

Oh ya, the only ss i took of the audi event ytd afternoon.. which i didnt even know i :D

Was actually thinking of chancing, but scrapped that coz all will advance dy. See la, shd have forced myself to chance hor? :D I might, or a have large possibility of dying in next weeks rd. But wat the hoot, just do it, Nike style :p

Time for a little nap~! Ja matta~!! :)
Saveeeee meeee!! Dying from hiragana memorizing x.x lol... ;wild

Its been a long day, work seemingly passed as fast as i expected, did some work, played some audi(LOL! Coz was alone in office :x) and did some more work.. Still on those dam accounts stuff =.= seems neverending. Had to rush some things out b4 leaving office and rushed home to practice for comp at 3.30..

Was kinda contemplating not participating coz was a nervous wreck. Hmmm..actually wasnt really nervous ba, just felt unprepared as i havent been 8k'ing for awhile lol. Anyway did join in the end and wasnt really happy with the results. Yes, i got in for 2nd rd but it was only coz there were only 3 participants in room, meaning all would advance as 1 didnt come. Wouldnt know if i would got through if there had been 4 lol.. Might have, i guess..

Played with ivan n babe for abit and was feeling extremely drowsy. Was already nodding off b4 comp lol.. Long day le, and somemore it was raining :S Didnt actually rest, coz still had my memorising to do, ended up watching indiana jones =.= I get distracted very easily ><.

Joined exp comp, bt didnt do so well today. Could have gotten in, exp choreo mode, but was missing too much, well not really, i really need to work on my chance, coz in the last few secs, got ninja'ed and got 4th place :( Sad sad.. sigh...

Oh ya! My random pic from this morning!

Lol...wanted to show hw many gifts i had in CW :x Am actually quite annoyed that i cant really finish using all of them up and they just multiply every single time. And i dont even get food from pages as much anymore =.= With the lag, its impossible to take alot out at a time, so i end up only using abt 10 >_>" Lol..random right? Who cares? :p

Oh wells, hopefully ive remembered wat ive memorised, or will it just turn up like a blank sheet of paper tomoro? Shieeet =.= ;pray

Omg...3am =.=



&im sorry im such a lousy player most of the times,
someone once told me, they tend to slack when they play with me,
its only natural u would wanna train with ppl who will be able to challenge you..

demotivated =\

Saturday, March 13, 2010

All is lost..

When there is no more warmth, only a cold void,
When there is no more closeness, only a distant knowledge,
When there is no more true laughter, only a courtesy smile,
When not only are we out of sight, we're out of mind as well.

"When u say u wouldnt let go, was it a momentary consolation?"

Its funny how things unravel, something in ways you would nvr expect,
And yet, i had already foreseen it all, and it still feels like a curse to me.

Not a gift. Never.

For it is better to be oblivious to the happenings of the world ard you,
Than to look into the obvious, and cold hard truths.

The hand that was suppose to be there to grip me when i fell, is no longer to be found,
The light that was suppose to guide my way through this dark tunnel, is no longer burning.

All is lost. Once again.
Tiring day, even though it was half day, but ended up reaching home almost 5 plus...which is basically almost the same time as working T^T~ Lol.. But then, am happy that i got quite a number of things done. Things which i have been postponing for the longest time :)

Went for the interview and it was erm...ok ba i guess? Not putting too much hopes on it coz i dont want to get too disappointed. The job itself was quite cool ba, alot of travelling (yay!) which means i dont sit the bladi office the entire day >_> So yea, it will be nice if i did get it. Though the interviewer's english was kinda, uhm....that lo..kinda uhm :X Rofl..

After that went to settle bills bills bills (weee! =.=) and am broke now ><. Also went to see doc to get some meds. Hopefully it will my salvation coz i really feel like shit now =.= Its gonna happen, no matter what!

Was suppose to go get groceries but was too bladi tired le, so went home 1st. Slacked ard the pc , audi'ed abit, and joined compy later that nite. I really lost touch with 8k leh...i wonder if i shd even join comp later =.= Wanted to practice with you, but u werent ard... oh wells.

Oh ya, exp comp nowadays alot of those fs, normal indi type modes lol..which kinda works out for me, coz thats the only mode which i will definitely pass :X I dono why also, guess i chain more in these modes lol. And also i keep missing lvl 10 n 11's alot and still manage to pass rofl! Kinda cute eh? Anyway, these cpl of nites, dam net has been laggy at abt the same time and got 3rd. Which is still ok, considering i wasnt really perf'ing alot :)

And yes, was out in the 2nd rd. Dam 4k =.= I will nvr pass that mode..tmdtmdtmdtmd! Boo..

Rest of the nite was spent audiing, guess was mainly waiting for someone. But they nvr did show up so stopped at ard 11'ish coz was getting tired and blurry lol..

Slacked ard tv, fb, anime abit and wanted to blog but ended up on bed, so just saved the images and bloggin at office now lol :X I actually had another picture, random, but still i got another pic! ;wild Accidently deleted =.=

Back to work and i actually have some work to do today lol, time is gonna fly by :D



& i guess it was partly my fault,
to have overly used it and nvr once did i managed to go ahead and doing it.
Its become an empty threat which has no effect on you whatsoever.

I guess, somethings are better left unsaid,
Coz sometimes, talk is really cheap and actions speak louder :)

Friday, March 12, 2010

Ohaiyo ~ Its finally Friday!! :) And im on half day leave today :p

Well, like i said, am having an interview later at abt 2pm, hoping that its gonna be a better place than here, and more pay? :D Anyway, wish me luck ba ;)

Ytd, bosses were not ard in Penang, and work was well work ba. Still alot of paperwork to deal with and its kinda getting on my nerves coz im suppose to be in charge of projects ma, but no news on new ones yet. Boring =\ I need active work la ><.. My bum feels flat sitting whole day =.=

Went home sharp coz even OM left early lol and she off the pc networks and nvr ask me. How am i suppose to update files which are on the network? Doh head. So just shut down and went home lol. Had porridge for dinner and fell asleep @_@;

Woke up almost 8 plus le, and wanted to join compy so warmed up abit. Wrong idea to sleep b4 compy man, i was dazed like no ones business =.= Even went to bath and came back to join. Didnt really work =.= And i was out in the 1st rd, in a mode which i could have pawned - Norm Indi T_T.. and i did, i was like 1st and 2nd fr the first 2mins then last min, i slowly lost concentration and kept missing, plus horrid lag. Sad man. To make things worse, i lost to someone which i DIDNT want to lose to. Fk! =\

Went to watch anime and suddenly had a feeling to go back in audi. Played till almost 3am and left in the worse possible mood. Sigh. Im really adamant on quitting this time, no more excuses.

Goodbye audi? :)

I just remembered, its been 3 yrs since i started bloggin on the template made fr me by ange, almost the 4th yr of audi-ing, and the 3rd yr we've cpled on audi. Time really where do we stand in terms of understanding each other? Middle of nowhere? Lol... :)

Oh wells, time to start working and need to finish up b4 i go off..



Im sorry i spoiled your nite, sorry i made u sad, sorry for everything,
But u werent fair too, hw can u disappear frm my life for one week,
No sound, not in sight, leaving me standing alone, but i nvr complained,
When i only kept silent for 5mins cz i was overwhelmed that u were back,
But u took it as i was being moody...its not fair..

All this while i thought u were busy with work and upset abt life,
When u told me sometime ago, it was time to leave and move on?
U say, keeping till the next one comes,
If they're so dispensible to you, am i too?
Will u leave when u find the next one to replace me?

And u proved me right when u found someone else right away to talk to,
The very next instant, jz coz u said i wont listen.
Did u think why? No, u only had ur own conclusions.

I always thought, no audi, means no anoili,
But now it seems, no anoili, there will stil be audi for u.
If Im not needed in rl and in virtual,
Why am i still here?

U were nvr afraid of me leaving, were you? :)

Is it time i moved on for real? U tell me.. or i think i may already have the answer.
And for the 1st time, its not coz im emo, my head is too clear for that today :)

I wish u all the best in comp this weekend, and always stay happy, be it in virtual or rl..

Thursday, March 11, 2010

First of all,

Gratz to Ivan for getting 9 A's on your exams ~! Lol..and sorry for not believing :X U just dont seem like the studying kinda ma.. Haha.. anyway nice job ;)


Baby for surviving after fighting with her exams :)

Kinda moody today, coz 1st of all, headache still lurking ard, and actually couldnt wake up this morning, if not for the good morning sms from u, i would have slept it through :S These few days has been kinda busy, esp in the evenings, and i guess the heat is really a killer.

Currently looking at 2 sheets of paper, accounts , and trying to make the amounts tie.. Im still short of about 60 bucks and i dont knw where the hell it is =.= Anyway, made the call and goin for an interview tomoro. We'll see how it goes ba, so wish me luck? :)

Ahp msn'ed me and apologised about ytd lol..which i didnt think he would, but he did sweet. Anyway i didnt really remember it ady, prolly coz im so friggin sleepy =.= But yeah, he said he didnt remember saying it, and felt bad abt it. In case ur wondering, he used the word "stupid" on me. Lolz. I guess it was on impulse and he said he might have been trying to be cute, problem is, he wasnt cute =.= And i still dont like tat word >_>"

Oh well, gonna let it go anyway :)

And yay! I found the difference dy! :X Lol...good to have a distraction once in awhile :P Anyways, back to work :)

Kinda tired and cranky at the moment.. Just got very irritated with ahp in audi awhile ago lol.. Something he said, a word which i nvr liked, and he used it on me on the wrong day.

That and the fact that my head feels like its gonna explode ><.

Been having really weird dreams and waking up a few times in the middle of the nite. Cant really remember what they were about though, and some of them quite scary de. Hmm.

Work was uber busy today, running in and out of the office, and just when i needed to go hm sharp for jp class (and some last min revision lolz :X) Had to fetch boss to get his car which was at Jalan P Ramlee. The worst possible place to be at that hour. Major friggin jam and my car temp is still goin up, need to get it to the mechs this weeked coz apparently the tank is dirty =.= Reached hm , sat fr 10mins and left fr class.

My hiragana abit sucky, dono why my memory so bad nowadays. My convo skill are ok, but when it comes to remembering the writings, all that is in my head is a white sheet of paper >_>" And we were given another 15 today, which makes the total to 45 @_@;; Kill me nao.

Jyjyjy me!!! >////<.

Random side note: Audi's new patch came out with the new hair that ive been eye'ing since i saw it last yr....i wanna get it , but refraining myself frm doing it :(

Cant believe its Thursday d though :)

Got a call earlier today for an interview O_O, so might be taking half day off on Friday to go for it, not sure, will call them tomoro and arrange i suppose. Was really hectic today, and couldnt even get back to them on when i could go over. Crazy =.=

Time for bed i guess, its gonna be an even busier day tomoro and my back is killing me now.



Sometimes, the past should just be that, the past.
Whatever that has passed u by, will nvr come back,
And it was the decisions we made, the roads we chose,
Regrets will not do anything to bring that back, so make them wisely,
Coz forgiveness may not be so easily given when u look back,

At times, i read back on my posts and write things that may not have come out the way i intended,
But i nvr re-edit coz others might have already read it,
And i know, ppl who really know me, will understand what i was trying to say,
If they dont and get upset, then i guess we were nvr really friends? :)

Im tired of standing here by myself, maybe its time to walk away?
Yes, maybe :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Booo! :)

Actually heading to bed soon, but thought, what the heck, short post ba, and still watching my anime since its so nice to me tonite being able to play every single epi :D Also ivan's sms'es at this hour lol..think he's excited to be coming back frm NS :) Welcome back to penang ivan ;)

Just came out audi actually, was playin with the normal fam gang . Went in to see see nia, coz abit tired tonite, but tot since havent played with them for a few days, might as well ba :) Didnt join comp today, wanted to, but 20mins b4 comp, bro called up asking me to fetch him and at the other end of the island somemore =.= Guess ill have to wait till Thursday ba ><.

Still need to memorise my 30 hiragana writings leh! omgomgomg .... あ い う え お, か き く け こ .......あら!!! Think need to memorise during lunch time dy ;eeks

Work was work as usual, still stacks n stacks of files and papers on my table =.= and OM suddenly remembered we nvr gave our last weeks daily report. She even writes time on what time she completes each task. Duh? I still feel its a complete waste of time ;wild

Now im thinking, shd i join the cc8 compy on sat? i feel kinda noobish these few days :( Hmmmm.....

Oh wells, time for bed, headache again tmd =.= Oh ya, found this in my ss folder..:p

LOL! Must have taken it ytd...I feel anoili looks cool being in front eh? Shd stand there more often...HAHAHA :XXX Ok, im being lame dy, must be the sleep deprivation symptoms.

Ciaoz and sweet dreams!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The calmness within vs the storm surrounding me..which shall prevail?

To be able to keep your stand regardless of what happens around you,
To be able to still think clearly and differenciate between what is right and wrong,
To not lose yourself..

My dearest,
I hope u will be able to get through whatever it is your facing,
Ive had my lowest points in life too, when i felt that i had nothing more to live for,
But i remember that night, when i had all of u, showing me who really cared,
And that i still had people who truly did care.
Im here for you too :)

I believe, if someone truly loves someone, they would nvr leave you,
And i believe the same thing for you,
Cherish what you have, and try your best to hold on.

There are some things which i will nvr agree you doing, and u knw what they are,
Its not fair, to anyone, and will only bring hurt if they ever found out.
Just because you feel down and unloved, does not give u the right to do what u do,
To run to another just to get redemption for what u feel u lack,
How would u feel, if it were done to you?

Its not an excuse, and i will nvr accept it as one.

Regardless of what has been said, your still one of my bestest friend,
The person who i trust with my life, despite everything.
Hey, we're only human right? :)

Monday, March 8, 2010

I just did something which i nvr expected a reply from...

I sms'ed to join a comp by Red Fm- a local radio station and they called me back! O_O! LOL! RM750 ok? And i thought i heard the start of the game ler..apparently it was the 2nd half which means i only got the last 5 songs ><. The minute i pened the last song, i was like, OMG, i only got 2nd half...dont call, dont call, dont call!! And they did! RAWR! And they aired the convo! Omg la...and i sound weird on radio ><. So shy ... Not really! TMD! 750 fly! ;wild

Other than that, same ol' Monday blues with all the rainbow colours as well.. spent the day staring at the pc and numbers and stacks n stacks of paper. Sigh, work is fkin mundane =\ Came home, rested awhile and practiced for exp comp. Guess that my only entertainment nowadays, dont really play much, coz it does get abit lonely..think i might be quitting soon lol :)

Yes, i got 1st, which came as quite a surprise lol, considering the fact that i actually missed lvl 10 n 11 =.= Seriously need to get some moves for those levels. But cool right? Lol.. Was out the 2nd round though, dam friggin cc4 and stupid no perf song :X *blames blames*

Stalked Jx and faifai npc'ing and after abit couldnt tahan le, eyes dam tired and sleepy. So log off and tried to watch anime, got one epi and now it cant load anymore. FML >_>"

Gonna head to bed i guess, its been a tiring day, physically n emotionally lol..

Oyasumi ~ :)


Is there a valid reason im being treated as invisible again?
Ive nvr done it when u needed me,
Isnt that what friends are for?

I hope im wrong. This time.
Hola hola hola! 3 cheers on a very blue Monday~ !! :p

Just a short one b4 i go to bed.. :) Currently thinking whether i should wait fr my dishes to be ready..which is in an hrs time. Boo.. miscalculation on my side and its gonna be ready at 3am =.=. Shd be able to make it if i take it out at work...but then that means less one dish..><. LOL! Ok ok, i shall not be so paranoid and go to bed :P

Anyway, joined exp comp today, even though i was blur as a squid lolz, which actually turned out not so bad eh :) Though i was out in the 2nd round but i actually beat ktkr in the 1st rd :D I know it was him, coz he said hi to me when i went in the room :X Oh wells, guess i was lucky it was FS mode :) and the funny part was, i didnt know i was second till i suddenly jumped in front. If only that girl didnt chain =.= But still can gloat right? :p

Oh ya, almost didnt make it for comp, coz i tot i still had time, then they told me, left 50secs and i had like about 1min plus in game, i alt tab'd and came in with an almost full channel and 10secs on the clock O_O and in the end i got a better number than! Im cool eh ;)

Lamed ard with ahp and diana, which were tagging for their next ring, and they're almost there :) Played abit with ray, well actually, ray was watching magic show =.= so i just practised by myself, which is good, considering i havent been really playin since last week.

Anyway, that was basically my day, nothing much, slept abit, watched some new anime to replace the old one i already finished ><, and lepak'ed ard the house.

Off to bed peeps, and though i hate that its Monday tomoro, its still gonna be there, staring me in my face =.= So might as well live with it and say.... HAVE A GREAT WEEK GUYS! AND I HOPE WE ALL SURVIVE MONDAY! :D


P/s: Craving for mum's bday cake TT^TT~ Nuuuuuu.....go to sleep!!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Happy happy Sunny-day~!!

Just came back from JP class not too long ago, and feeling kinda sleepy right now lol @_@; Today's class was kinda stressful though, seeing that i could not really remember my hiragana writings ><. I remember then in sequence, bt when they ask, its jumbled up ma, so need to count in my head b4 can answer x.x. Lol, i shall prevail the next then again, we were just given another 15 new writings today...which makes it 30 to memorise -faints-

Ytd was kinda uneventful, well except mum's birthday of course. Didnt do much ba, some dinner with family, bought a Secret Recipe bday cake (sinful sinful sinful delight ><...) and that was it. Gonna chip in for mum's pressie though...sibling were thinking of diamond studs lol..:DD

White Choco with Macadamia Nuts O_O!...:p

Spent most of the day sleeping though, and watching anime lol..and also memorising hiragana for today's lesson. In and out of audi, but no one was playin so didnt really play much :( Guess that was about it, fb really getting abit too boring for me, and i dont really play much of new games coz it seems like they're clones of some other popular ones. =.=

In the end, fell asleep with book in hand :X Lol..

Oh wells, Monday is around the corner, and its gonna be busy soon with a few projects on the way and in the final proposal stage :) Cool? Not really sure x.x

Time for a little nap and some anime again :p

Ja ne~! ;)

P/s: Was very amused earlier by the actions of a certain person , i guess once a b****h, always a b****h? Ur despo-ness really cracks me up love ;) I dono if it was encouraged or self doing, but still amusing as hell :D


& its only fair, yet nothing in life is,
no one is every afraid of anyone leaving their lives, until they do,
my post have gone unread, and msgs unreplied,
Oh wells, wakatta~ :)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Hey ho peeps on a very early Saturday morning ~ ;)

First and foremost....


Love love love love love you muchiee!!! :D

Though ur strange and full of ideas at times, but hey, thats wat we love the most, coz we turned out exactly the same :p LubLubLub~

Not really sure what to do for her birthday yet though, coz siblings forgot about and i forgot to remind them =.= Will think of something later, maybe seafood dinner? :D Yum yum~ :3

Kinda exhausted, just came out of audi. Actually intended to go in and see see only, bt was spotted by ahp and diana and they got me to playin lol. Also to meet a new fam member, Lacry, but ive played with her b4 with babe :) And she said she saw me in exp comp lobby :X Yea, went to compy today, bt i think im kinda out of it, havent really been playing since last week and the arrows all feels weird >_>" Anway had a crazy time, laming all the time, which was good, coz it got me off my mind on hw much i missed playin with u. Then we made her friend join Chocos too lols, funny dude , but i cant remember his nick now :X

Audi sure does have its bitter sweet moments for me .. :)

Work was the norm in the morning, afternoon was spent sloggin under the hot sun ><. To the bank then to site to pay wages to the workers and then to suppliers to choose panels. Came back to office and was almost time to go hm d. Finished up my stuff and in the end had to wait fr colleague to finish his drawing plan. Sheesh. I shdnt have waited coz in the end there were changes after changes =.= Made me go hm at 7 ..bla.

Went home to see sis using the new modem n router, which still didnt work despite her sayin it did. She got pissed, bt i already told the settings were abit off, coz she didnt even fix it to the router, and as soon as i did, the net start goin bonkers le =.=. In the end? Used back old modem. Will prolly get it back to shop to have it looked into, since mum kept buggin to use it.

Oh wells, its TGIF again peeps ~ Time really is flying but some things still feels like its at a standstill..

Ciaoz~! Have a great weekend ;)


It wasnt coz i was upset and didnt want to say anything,
It was coz i didnt know wat to say,
After so many days, to suddenly see u again, words could not seem to come out,
I guess, it felt like, u didnt need to have me in there at all,
I can sense ur unhappiness, but can u sense mine?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Is this the final goodbye..?

Thank you for the memories, the laughter and the tears,
And everything else that might have seemed small,
But meant the world to me :)

Even if we're apart, u will always be a part of me..
Tadaima~ :)

Its been an uneventful Thursday so far, and currently practising my hiragana for next's lessons mini test *gulps* Abit pissed coz havent been able to watch my anime since i brought my pc back. Something is wrong somewhere....if only i can figure it out...annoyeddd =w=

Sis got diverted frm her practice and is now playin some lame BigFish game..rofl! Lousy her :p But then again, if my anime was working, i would be doing the same thing :x

Work was painful, and shall not be reminded of it here. Still need to get the website up and really blank with no inspiration at allll :S Even Fb is being a total bore for me. Sigh man =\

Came home, switched on pc and fell asleep. For about 2hrs i think.. lol. Wanted to join exp comp but was blur like a jellyfish @_@; hence decided to play by myself for abit and took some ss for ava's lol. And also, for baby to see my new set, since she's busy with studyin for exams :)

Cant seem to take more decent ss, was trying the whole nite, bt didnt like any of them =.= This was best i could get D: - but love my set nonetheless..white :3

Anyway, had dinner and been slacking ard fb, raised another pet of mine to 3b in ffs, been having problems with cafe world =.= and in and out of audi but no familiar faces to play with. Hmmm..

So been a good girl and decided to practice writing but with alot of interuptions in between :X Guess i shd head to bed earlier, since ive been waking up late for work these few days. Doinks self.

Ja mata~! ;)

P/s: Posted my my first post on tumblr today, i wonder if i shd just moved my whole blog there.. the layout is pretty nice and simple, but not used to its features yet. Maybe.. :)


Your right, its not all about me, but in here it is.

There is a reason i blog so frequently, so that ppl i care abt knows wats goin in my life,
And also a place for me to release and tell about the good and bad things that i went through,
It might be mundane and u guys dont have to read it everyday, coz im happy to knw that u do,
Really read and have interest in what i have to say.

Uve not been ard these past few days, and ive respected ur space,
Work and life is busy, and i really understand, even if u dont manage to come in here when u can,
Ur msgs have seem to slowly disappear, as i expected, but even then i have not complained,
All i ask, was for u to read when u can, and i mean truly read and not just come in and leave 3secs later,
And no, its not better than not coming in at all, its worse.

There are reasons why ur acting cold towards me, or why u said the things u said this morning,
But seriously? I dont really care coz there will always be something or someone, and guess what?
Its not all about u too :)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hola people on a Thursday morning~ :)

Just finished watching CSI LV on Astro, kinda long since i actually sat down and watch tv, well cable tv, still tv nonetheless..It was nice, and good shows are worth it ;)

Its been kinda a long day, with work and Jp class after that. Work, was erm, long. Paperwork is really not my cuppa, and i find it difficult to just sit around and flip through stacks of paper every single day. And accounts, omg =.= my least fav subject ever. Not that i suck at it, im quite decent, jz cant stand it ><.

Even watched my anime at lunch time rofl...i asked my sis was it over abit, and she said yes..Lunch time worrr :( I still think i was not over leh.. =.=

Left work sharp coz wanted to beat the jam and have dinner b4 going fr class. Tonite's class was slightly more tougher coz we're learning to write Hiragana now. Its been a while since i learned how to write lol. Fun, but tough. And the teachers' even gonna give a little test on writing fr next class ><. Time to start practising.. lolz :)

Nichiyoubi abunai yo!!!

Came home, audied by myself abit, took some ss of the new set i got lol..and only im looking at it..oh wells, dont matter :) Wanted to watch my anime bt connection seems to be shitty, or is it the browser prob? Hmmm..not cool :(

'Neways, sleep ba. Kinda pooped from the long day. And its almost the weekends again :)

How time flies..


& if u only knew, how much it hurts,
to be left out in the cold..
What else can i say? Good bye? :)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

What happens when the light fades away and the candle is nothing but melted wax?
Im feeling indifferent again, but this time it feels stronger,
Im feeling blase about everything.

This now u see me, now u dont treatment is getting to me,
Im not indespensible, and can be replaced anytime,
I know that now..

Soon, the candle that was burning so brightly, will just fade,
And so will us ..
PC is back!!!! And im broke!!! =.="

Lol.. ok la, i shdnt complain for now since its back. Just spent abt 100bucks for a new power supply which has been with me since i got this pc. Seriously at this rate, the only thing left i havent changed is the motherboard and processor. Once those die, then its as good as me getting a new pc d =.=

Hopefully it doesnt happen soon though.. bo lui for the time being..hahaha :S

Itadakimasu! Lunch!! Been craving for sushi for weeks now, finally decided to walk over to Queensbay and got it! :D

Work was dull and immensely tiring. Like i said, sleeping at 4...not a good idea. Was zoning in and out of conciousness. As soon as it hit 5.30, i was outta there :x

Pc wasnt suppose to be back till tomoro, but he had tested it for the whole day and it seemed stable ba. Blue screen, not sure wat it was yet, but i remember seeing hardware failure on it. I think...which would explain the power supply's death. Oh wells, pray that this time itll last longer without something else dying on me :(

Then did the usual, installed my program (i.e audi, ares, bla bla bla..) And i feel the need to reinstall FF coz the one he installed fr me feels problematic and i cant even FB on it =.= And my audi didnt work. Went in patcher and dc'ed with a notification of missing sound card or on wrong setting. I was hoping it would be more of the wrong setting thingy, missing sound card will be very depressing since i jz changed sound card =/

Rechecked settings, and tested sound only to reliase i nvr plug in my speakers =.= But still the problem was not that. Deleted the whole folder and reinstalled. If it didnt work again then it fated :) Audi asking me to quit.. lol :D It took me abt 1.5hrs to patch the 1st time, luckily 2nd time was slightly faster..10 patches leh. Guess what? It worked =.= Hmmmmm.. fate?

No, it was actually sheer ke gao on my side, coz when i was installing the manual patches, it came out, "program is installed wrongly" or something to that effect, bt i tot it was just W7 being a bitch, so i just clicked cancel. LOL :x

How could i possibly be wrong in installing something ive been installing on and off for abt 4yrs now? It seems i can =.= Bah.

Still some tweaks here and there, coz it feels kinda laggy. Dont knw if it was coz of the net or wat. Will look into it maybe tonite, maybe..

Totally random pic taken during my journey back hm. Traffic lights died at one of the most busiest intersections, so i just sat there and watched ppl getting themselves in a bind and stuck in the middle and at a standstill for abt 10mins =.=. Kiasu-ism ? :)

Oh wells, guten nacht!! :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010 @_@;

Honestly dam dam tmd de sleepy, even fell asleep when i reached office earlier. Think i dozed off for about 5mins ><. Kns... Reason? Hmmm...long chain of events :S

Finally took pc to my regular repairman, coz it kept coming out notifications sayin that my W7 is expiring..when i told him that, he said i might have accidently updated my windows. Duh uh? Im not that dumb lor, must be his fault :x And also the crash dump screen keeps coming out =.= Bery bery annoying leh. Sigh. Wonder how much ima gonna spend tis time... come to think of it, the amount spend on my bi-monthly repairs can actually get me a new pc d..hmmmmm..

Anyway, work was immensely boring..was actually flipping through calendar to see when the next holidays are. But but but! No more till May TT^TT~~ *cries cries* This can only mean one thing....take mc :X Im not entitled to annual leave yet, officially 1 yr in May..if i last that long. Bla.

Still not over the CNY hols yet eh ><. Kns kns tmd tmd. FML.

And the fact that i still have to bs on the daily report thingy. Im only working on that webbie so waste paper ne, havent they heard of "Save the trees"? -takes out pen and pokes at paper-

Anyway, went home early coz had to go pass wages to the workers at site, and went home str8. Backed up my stuff, rested awhile, waited for jam to clear down and took pc to air itam. On the way back went to arizona to satisfy my net craves...which lasted abt 5hrs :X Dam tired. I dont know why i didnt go hm earlier...oh yes, i was waiting for u :( Mai wait le next time, once my pc is back , dont think ill install audi for awhile...

Join comp, which was a big mistake coz kb not nice de and very tiring to press. Dam not light at all =.= In middle of game, have to rest somemore >_>"" But played with random ppl, friends after that and joined ahp and diana when they came in. Jx came in after that and yorke lol.. Its no wonder i lasted that long, i was playing with ppl i knew :)

But got damn hyper after 1, maybe coz i was jz zoning out alot d.. ><.

Wanted to go hm ler, manatau, dam heavy rain and i parked my car very far leh. In the end, still ran to car coz mum kept calling me to go home =.="

Reached hm soaked to the core, had my bath, supper/dinner, and told sis to lend me her pc fr a bit to cafe. Waited for her till abt 4am. Zzzzzz.. Almost died, and was actually considering letting the food spoil ><. In the end, cafe'ed and slept ard 4-ish.

Died in the morning at work.

Once again, FML.