Thursday, April 30, 2009

Helloooooo world~

Weekends are gonna be here earlier this week, Labour Day technically today is ur Friday.. Woots!! Lolz.. i know some ppl are estatic, others are jz trying to get through today..well good luck y'all, i knw u can make it..Jiayou jiayou!! Esp poor babe..who's in hell right now :(

I knw i might sound abit more perkier than usual, hmm maybe i am. Or maybe im hiding behind this facade of a seemingly happy me. Lol. Im trying to be strong, trying to hold on to my footing in life, breaking my falls with optimism and "tomoro is a new day" thinking.

I will be..

Everyone has their problems, this is undeniable. But sometimes as a fren, when u pour out ur feeling to someone, u dont want to hear, "Yea, i have problems too" . For that one minute, i wan to be selfish and be the only one with problems. Well, thats wat i do anyway..If a fren confides in me, i dont wan to go rattling on abt my problems..they jz need some1 to listen to their problems, juz for that moment. I dont know, maybe its just me lol..

Been havin headaches and dizzy spells these few days. Not sure why, maybe its the crazy sleeping hrs (sleep at 5 am, wake at 12), maybe im thinkin too much. I resent the fact that juz because i dont show emotions like worrying, doesnt mean im not ._.

Other than that, been sandwich crazy these past 2 days lol..ever since we watched the Sandwich Showdown on Oprah. Omg!! See liao bth =x So have been in a sandwich craze x.x, latest one was, melted cheese on heated tortilla bread, roasted chicken, ham, salad, tomatos, japanese cucumbers(crunchy i tell u!) and top with mayo all rolled up to make this heavenly "sin" of a sandwich. Omg omg omg =x Will post pics of it when we make it again..maybe tonite. LOL!

Dam it! *Dont do it, dont do it*

Well, its almost end of the day peeps.. Hope u've survived it and Happy Labour's Day xD.

I hope u all enjoy your long weekend :)

"Im not perfect, but then so are you"

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Its been the longest 48hrs ever...

I wonder if i can go through it.. Its killing me inside :(
Will I ever matter, juz for a little bit? Yes, for awhile..but it will nvr last.

And my tummy's been hurting the whole day..sobs.

Would you cry juz a little, lie juz a little,
Pretend that your feeling a little more pain,
I gave not wanting something in return,
So cry juz a little for me..

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Weekends come n gone, and i feel the same. I am trying to make somethin of my life, i wan to look back and see all the things ive done and be proud of myself. Not to say that im not now. I am. Im happy with the choices ive made so far coz even though it has not been all good, but there also that silver lining :)

Im reminded of all the ppl i knw, the frens ive made and it makes it worthwhile. So far, no regrets :) The only regret i have is not having my own career yet. Something which i will be good at, something i can be proud of.. I guess some ppl wait all their life to find it. Im sure i will find mine soon. Pray for me?

Didnt do much this weekend, bt did alot of soul searching. Of what i shd start doing and stop procrastinating. What is good for n what is not. Who i need n who i dont. So ppl who couldnt care shyt about me but pretend that they do, juz do urselves a favour n stay away. I don need more pretence in my life k? actually took me 3hrs to blog this. Lol. Well, that n the fact that robo wars has been givin me problems the whole day, so gave up for now. Shall continue tomoro. And also was editing MY pics n posting in FB lol..And also ange convincin me that they looked nice =x ALOT of convincing hahaha...Spammed my fb would be the more precise word for it :p

Oh well, its officially a Moooonday, it might be a blue one for some u guys but hey, face it strong peeps xD

I feel irritated, annoyed, flabbergasted and left out..
Where were u when i needed u the most?
Dont shut me out unless u want me to do the same.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Battle battle battle! :p
Jus turned lvl31 earlier and currently having 87 squads lolz =x Im nt really extreme k? There are other ppl who are more *hints babe* Lololol :p ... Juz had my bath, and thought..hmm i really shd update. Although i didnt really do much except to hit attk when the time came LOL! Bleh~ Well, its rainin now, been raining fr a few days..good weather? Er not really lol..Unless its cooling the one now..ahhh~ Feeling sleepy x.x
Seriously, been super hot lately, not only hot hot but humid too..nt an ounce of cold air AT ALL!..Came to the point that im wearing less garments to sleep an ard the hse lol..Im decent la, juz braless n pantless LOL! I REALLY CANT TAKE IT K? T_T
Fell asleep fr 15 mins...o.o
Ok, so where was i? Oh, in short? Malaysia is hot, Penang is hot, Greenlane is hot and im hot LOL! Jk la..Heat gettin to me *sobsob* Been sleeping in the wee mornings these few days, wat else ar, battling, watchin dvd's, and chatting with a pig who's working abnormal hrs :p
So basically thats abt it, nthg much..but i juz realised thats is a Friday d! lawls..i really didnt realise lor..Oh well..
"I wish so much to be the person i was b4, ever trusting, ever happy, ever ignorant, ever full of love..the person u once knew. Im trying, but i need u to help me move on..Will u hold my hand and be there?"

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It took 3 women, multiple pcs of plank, alot of screws and 1 1/2 hrs.....
To put together a DIY cabinet~ LOL! was hard work k? But we managed to do usual :p..Woohoo! Girl Power! =X.


Oh, i forgot, the day me n mum went to get it, i had to go buy it and dam it was heavy k? But i managed to get 2 guys to carry it down until Tesco's car park for me. Either im still very charming or i was lucky to meet some helpful dudes..I like to think it was the former..LOL! =X

How time flew by and its already Tuesday. Past 2 days have been so engrossed in Robot Wars lol..Im level 24 (at the time of post :p) and that only coz i havent been playin much today x.x. Was busy sleeping in the afternoon..WAD! Its the 1st time in weeks that it actually was cooling when it rained k? Anyway it was juz abt 2hrs nia la..Woke up, went for an interview, came back, took mum to get dinner, had dinner, fix cabinet, sis cut my hair again and here i am bloggin..

Busy day? Not
Interview went well, i think..we'll see what happens after they call me fr the 2nd one :)

Hmmm..i really need to boost my squad number or else ill kena bully :( *thoughts trail off~* Aaaanyway..been watching this new series Women's Murder Club(WMC). Its in its 1st season nia, but so far the storyline is quite good. Its a this group of 4 women (hence the title.. WMC) a police detective, a public defender, a reporter and a medical examiner and together they find the bad guys :p It sounds corny i knw, but hey, its nice corny hahaha..

Other than that, nothing much happened d..yea i life's bore..but i like it =.= Oh yea, got my watch back from the shop..Missed it so much =3

Oh well, have a good week ahead guys :)


Since when did i become your "when i feel like it.." friend? Maybe i always was, but juz refused to see it for wat it was, hoping i was actually something more, not the world, but not so unimportant. I was fooling myself. I get it now...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Its'a Saturday~!
Lolz, as if that means anything to me. Everyday is like a Saturday to me xP! Though its not a very fun saturday, coz its so bleepin hot x.x Even when ur sitting down doing absolutely nothing, its still as hot. Tmd tmd tmd =x.
Been preoccupied with robot wars the second half of the day (till now =x), 1st half, im not so sure..hmmm..maybe cursing the weather x.x.. oh ya, that and the fact that i did not have ppl in my squad which made me lose 1 out of 3 battles fought, so was lazy to play. Not until i added ppl in my squad. Dont ask me how though lolz..its a complex procedure staged out by my zhu =/.. so now i have 8ppl in my squad and im hooked on fightin ppl x.x Babe, i blame u for this!
So now, im having a hot drink, playin robot wars, watching Rush Hour 3, bloggin, reading ppl's blogs, reading forums (LOL! Multi-tasking to de max!) and basically enjoyin my nite xD..Shall sleep soon though, hehe..need to meet up with some ppl tomoro..i think..oh well, we'll see :)
Nites peeps n sweet dreams~ <3s~

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Uppie datie~

Am currently havin my hair done, by my sis! Finally~ Well actually its been more than 5hrs x.x... Almost lost my mind during that last hr, think both of us did lol. My conclusion to her, i will stick my "One cut per year" stand=x. Yes, she's training as a hairstylist and almost at the end of her classes. And she showed me this cut 1st, sort of str8 on top and wavey at the bottom. Turned out great XD! Will post photos in FB soon coz she took some to put in her profile lol..but...i...a...bit....shy=x

Endured the hot iron for straightening, made me have a headache as usual and all for the sake of vanity, its a painful beauty..but if it didnt turned out rite then it would juz be painful x.x
Past 2 day have been engrossed in FB, why? Robot wars. Dont ask me, all because babe wanted me to join his squad so he can attack ppl and win ._. and now im hooked on it. I dono why, i juz like to see the numbers ticking lol. And im not obsessed k? Some1 has, the last i heard ard 19 squads in his team, dont ask me how he did it, so yeah, babe pls, obsess much? He's trying win this dude who is in 1st place. Kiasuism :p.. I HOPE YOU WIN HIM SOON! =3 . And also partly coz i havent been able to go into PS since Monday..What a ding dong ._.
Other updates :
- CPU still in shop ._. I seriously doubt he knows or bothers doing it, so shall take it back tomoro.
- Swollen leg has gone down..actually juz donwan see doc again :s, still hurts though =x
- Have a few interviews next week, hopefully those go well. Knowing me, it normally does. LOL! Bleh~
How time passes by, its already Friday tomoro~! Happy happy? ^^
Neways, have a great day tomoro, and a wonderful weekend xDD!
"I said once, i will forgive but will never forget, someone said to me, then you never forgave. I wish i had amnesia everytime something happened. Maybe i'll be happier.."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Nothing much to blog about actually quite sleepy lol x.x
*Note to self: SLEEP EARLIER!*
But wth, its already 3am and im still here =.=
Woken up today by zhu's phone call..YES I WAS SLEEPING! =x..though i said i was awake d hurhur...i was awake la..juz juz...couldnt get out of bed =x..
Played abit of audi with babe and it was already 2pm...tot of goin back to bed. But i didnt lah ok?
Im not a pig =( .. Watched abit of movies, sent out resumes for jobs, made some phone yeah hopefully there will be some interviews soon. My leg still swollen hor babe..its not an excuse lor =( .. Need to go see doc again tomoro coz my ankles really swollen sia x.x..
Went in audi later in the evening, played with darling till she lvled then drove out to get dinner. All this time, still bery bery sleepy..even with playing with darling..But i didnt want to sleep coz i scared i wont be able to sleep later. much for that theory coz im still awake!.. I really need to wake up earlier tomoro..
Babe! call me again pls =x
After having dinner, went to lie down and i think i fell asleep lol x.x..short nia la..(sorry zhu didnt hear ur sms lol)..audied half asleep again until ard 1.30 then went to bath and here i am now. Awake but tired o.o..
Going to force myself to sleep soon. Need to go some places tomoro.
"I know i can be demanding, because i believe ppl can change, but I can also change and learn not be so demanding and meet you halfway.."

Monday, April 13, 2009

I found it!!
The song thats been haunting me for weeks!
Its Mad World by REM :)
This is so random i know..
And its like in the middle of the night. lol.
Was seriously thinking whether i shd even blog abt it
coz was halfway watching a movie - Two Weeks Notice..

Had something on my mind earlier..
Wanted to ask you abt it..
But i didnt want to spoil ur day..
I always feel bad when i do it..
Then again, its killing me inside.. :(
How i hide it from you earlier,
Tried to not let it show..
What shd i do?

"And I think its kinda funny,
I think its kinda sad,
the dreams in which im dying are the best are i ever had"

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Slept at almost 5plus ytd..
Watched movie, chatted on msn, played FB games & trivias,
spamming my FB wall with mei lol,
painted my nail :p, took photos of my frenched nails lmao=x

My nice nails =x

Aiya, im one bored woman lol..
I should have gone out with my frens x.x
Been getting opinions on stuff frm frens, on my thinking, on how i do things.
I knw im stubborn sometimes, and true, i need to let go of the
past to move forward..
I keep saying that its haunting me everyday, maybe im the one letting it.
Maybe im hiding behind that statement so that i dont need to face the world.
I really shd stand up to it.
Im juz really scared of getting hurt and i hide the fear with sarcasm.
Hmmmm :(

My nice nice monitor...THAT I CANT USE! ._.

Men in Black o.o...

I came in room with my emo black attire and the whole room

went black with me..lolzz =3

My foot is still swelling..hmmm..not very cool..


Hope u all had a great weekend,

And greater week ahead!! (until the next weekend :p)

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Like the new blog? Lolz..
Its somewhat emo, and dark..but i guess its me...for now :)
Loved the old blog ya (hard work by my beloved mei =3)
But felt i needed a change, and been meaning to have it done for some time now..
I asked for baby's help, and i thought she had given up coz the whole thing was juz a big bladi mess lol..
I was surprised to log in today and see this come out instead xDD
Thanks baby, *Loves*
Was supposed to go out for a friend's birthday thingie, but they nvr call to tell me whr..
and i didnt bother to call them to ask also..
Picked up the phone a few times and wanted to dial n call them
But..really not in the mood to go out ..
And its Saturday night for crying out loud..sigh.
Audi's server is down for now (whats new eh?), so playing slots, scratch off, blogging..
And searching for a song thats been haunting me for months..
All coz i cant remember the dam title =.= DAM IT!
CPU is still in the shop but went back to take my monitor..
Jf la, scare me..say they will use fr their own stuff...
Which was wat i actually thought also..initially..
Ask me to go so early and all not there, walao ._. then call them and ask qn
also dono how to answer
So am using my monitor, plugged in my lappy >_>
Though i realised it not as laggy lol..
What should i do abt my cpu? Tmd =x
Gonna rot this weekend..nvm la..been rotting for awhile d x.x
Dont mind me=x
Have a great weekend guys~! <3s~

Friday, April 10, 2009

If only.

After 3 torturing weeks of my leg in wraps, finally it came off tonite :)
Though this also means, no more privileges at home, and doing everything myself again..
Anyway, when i took it off, it felt so itchy coz of the med and
also coz of 3 weeks in there and nvr wash that part of my foot...ewwww gross =x
I bth str8 went to bath and scrubbed my leg x.x...its still abit swollen though,
but becoz of my scratching it, its now red and swollen..hmmm..crap=x
Took my longest bath in 3 weeks and did it standing!! lol...
3 weeks of bathing while sitting on chair while my leg propped up is no fun :(
But it still hurts abit leh...hmm..why ar? Psychology? Maybe..
Oh ya.. took my cpu to the shop again and this time left my monitor there also o.O
They say, need to chk why kenot on..zz.. juz dont tell me nthg can be done d :(
Though i suspect its my graphic card prob..sigh.
Tomoro by lunch im gonna call them see if they can do bo, if nt ima gonna
take it back..donwan leave my monitor there over the weekend..
But then i realise, when i fix my monitor to my lappy last nite, its was not so laggy..
and i can play 130+ songs leh...even do the fm o.O
I dono if its the internet smooth or wat..but it felt different..
Oh well..time to ponder a movie..loiter ard the hse till i fall asleep.
If only.
My happiness will last for more than just one day.
If only.
U showed just a little that u actually cared.
If only.
U didnt do things that made me feel unimportant to you.
If only.
I didnt feel like such a disappointment to you when u wanted something i couldnt give.
If only..

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I made it!! Im finally WorldStar liao!! LOL!! =x *Cheers cheers*
The best part is...I BEAT HIM TO IT! HAHAHAHA..omfg x.x kiasuism to de max =x
Wanted to update ytd..
SO BLADI TIRED! hurhur..i sacrificed alot of sleep time to get there..
YES! IKNW! IM CRAZY! dont have to tell me again...but heck care..i shuang! =XX
On Monday i had my lvl 50 lic..then continued and, and, and
by Tuesday, i was 51 d! LOL...yeah...200k in 24hrs...i knw, im not normal..
But hor, i think he bo song me d T_T...he still owe me mega somemore hor..
Cheater :(
He say i sot somemore...wat wor..its not impossible k? Dumbass =x
And its very chi kek, when i challenge myself like this, i knw i shd better things to do..
but with my leg in a cast, i actually hv nthg better to do?
I can only sit ard at hm whole put it to good use ba..lolz
Since it was my target to reach WS b4 my 3rd yr of audi'ing...(Thanks babe fr helping <3)
Now what? hmmm...
Oh ya..i wan pearl nice T_T...really!!
Wo yao wo yao wo yao =x
See meeeee!! :p

Went to see sinseh again today and tomoro can take out bandage le xD

But now itchy as hell lor T_T...and juz now pain like wat x.x

Got my monitor today also! xDDD but cpu problem sia..zzz

Tmd tmd tmd tmd =x

Now im looking at my wide screen, which is attached to my lappy >_>

Gonna get it fixed tomoro (again =_=) hopefully i will finally be able to use it

if not ima gonna throw a bitch fit =x

OH YA, MY PET FINALLY LVLED, ytd also !!! lolzz..:p

After a gazillion, million years =x

Ok la...time for movies! On my new monitor! xP!!

Sweet Dreams peeps ^^

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Hot hot hot!!!

Omfg Pg is fucking hot and humid recently..i shd say the past few weeks x.x
Its gotten worse this week..even when it rains, its hot!!
Crazy lar, i end up bathing many many many times a day =_=
Went for Qing Ming today.. my grandparents..
Lucky it was not sunny, though a little humid and also rained abit x.x
Reached the place at abt 4 and ended up staying there till abt 7plus,
coz granpa n granma didnt finish eating yet lol..
Until at last, i asked them and they finally said "ok, hao le" haha..
I think must be so many ppl keep asking, they also fan le xP!
Saturday nite jam, finally reaching home 8plus liao..
suddenly had major migrain, must be kena rain..took 2 pills to stop it from turning
into fever :( ..then somebody made me i went to sleep at 2am..
But then everything is fine d..thanks for the "fresh flowers" xDD
Ill try to be nice frm now, but u also har! lol..
Im irritated lor!
Everday i log in so many times..and when i see the gap closing i keep thinking
"goin to lvl, goin to lvl, goin to lvl!"
Even lvl'ing in audi also not so hard. Omgosh x.x
Btw, gratz babe fr passing ur lvl 56 lic - once! So pro =3
My turn! LOL=x
I intend to finish up the remaining % tonite coz i figure, even when i say tomoro
morning, i wont be able to wake up x.x
Im juz nt a morning person...rofl..
Oh ya, watched jf, ky, baby and huii brbp earlier (wish i have my com TT) and
saw this panda npcs!


He say, if got this pandas appear means, the npc wont drain o.o
I dono he pian me or not =x
Anyway , the pandas dam good dancers k? They can moveeee xP
Im feeling easily irritated these few days, maybe my period is coming o.o
or maybe, sometimes wat i say are meant to be jokes, bt ppl take it so
seriously and then i get
Life is simple, u live, u laugh and u love..wats so hard abt that?
It was a joke when i said i had no life, but u guys took it the wrong way..
Im nt negative, not abt life.
If i was, i would be dead long ago. lolz.
Enuf abt that, maybe its juz my crazy hormons..
Sorry guys if i seemed not :)
And tomoro IS gonna be a fk up day fr me (ask me 1st why, b4 sayin im negative)
i need see doc again, hopefully its getting better coz i really need to start working..
Oh well..its officially MONDAY!
Hope u guys have a great start tomoro and a wonderful week ahead~!
Cheers peep and lotsa luv x3's~
"dont judge me before u really understand me"

Friday, April 3, 2009

Another week...of my life

Juz finished watching Sex and the City - The movie (YES!
Thought it would a lame show b4 i watched it, and as my family put it..
alot of sex ( if they're all saints =_=)
Anyway watched it not coz of that, bt the concept of the whole show..
abt finding love and also the frens tat are there for you when u need them..
Made me think alot of my own friendships.
Maybe, baby u were right..maybe i didnt put in enuf effort, didnt care enuf,
didnt make the fs strong enuf..
Maybe in a way, ive become cynical of the term friendship..
Maybe its all an excuse to hide my weakness.
Trust - it is a 5 letter word. But it means so much to me.
And yet, i cant even trust myself..for now.
Im contradicting myself, i knw..its juz how i feel now.
I knw wat i need. I need a
I need a monitor fr my cpu also..hahaha
Tired of talking, tired of thinking.
Maybe i shd stop.
Not everything i say is sarcasm.
Will u listen to me once in a while?
Will u be there for me like u promised?
Do u understand anything abt me?
"Ever thee
Ever me
Ever ours"

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I feel...blank?

Uneventful day, as usual lol..
Went to see doc again today..swelling has gone done but still needed to rewrap..
He said shd take at least 2 weeks more b4 the ankle heels x.x
Follow mum to see rattan chairs (she's been buggin for ages lol)
..and went home. L.O.L =x
What else did i do today? Hmm...
Oh. No more. Sad.
Oh oh..watched anime yay! =x
Now realised i might hv watched in wrong order.. tmd tmd tmd x.x
Oh ya, fr ppl who are wondering who "The arguement hubby" is..
He's non other than mr ricky c former partner in crime at ME,
the reason he calls himself that is coz, we argued alot in office...ermm..debate alot..
and one day my boss said, "U two sound like husband n wife la"
I told her.."Thats the worst thing u can say T_T"..
So yeah, that why he calls himself that >_>
He's finally an auditioner, but i doubt he'll stay long..LOL! =x
Never chionged today, actually watched quite alot of tv instead..
Sigh. Moodless.
Oh well, shall attempt to change my blog background tomoro..
Somehow, i feel scared..feels like im losing ppl i care abt..
Or maybe they dont need me anymore..
Am i useless for anything else?
"ive learned that by not expecting anything,
i wont get hurt.. as much.."

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Random thoughts..

As usual, my blogger page has been opened fr the past 2 days
and i have yet to see a single word typed out...
So, it shall not stay empty anymore..i shall attempt to update! =x
Am currently multi-tasking..
As in playing with my facebook (PS shd have new stuff today lol),
my sis asking to look after her restaurant in FB ...she say she want to cut her fren's
level, so ask me look after fr her until lvl 14 at least =_=
and also my very frail attempt in updating my blog..
These past few days has been somewhat eventful,
even with me being not able to walk alot..
Proud to say, Im, or at least anoili is lvl 49 in Audisea xD.. 2 more lvls to WS..jyjy~
And all this juz to cut some1 who cut my lvl u so kiasu??
Anyway the main reason was cause, we said whoever reach WS ,
the other person will mega for them...and i want him to do it 1st..LOL!
Other than that, my leg is still swollen..was suppose to go see doc today but
i was worried for someone and decided to stay home in case he needed me..
Shall go tomoro.. :)
Been checking out some stuff, so been walking out alot as well..
not very cool coz it hurts when i reach home x.x
Other than that, have been rotting at home..really the point i find things
to argue about ...i dono why..but its not all senseless k?
Its juz when i have alot of time of my hands, i tend to think more than i normally do :(
Today, watched Sex in the City - the movie, Hancock (Will Smith, yum :p)
Old movies, but then again i havent watched movies fr abt a year?
Thanks babe fr passing them to me =3
Also been tryin to company some1 who was feeling really down..and i felt useless
coz i couldnt help with anything...and i couldnt be there for you :(
Been hearing alot of this word recently.
One thing i knw for sure, once its will nvr be the same anymore.
U said to me, don always dont trust you, and think negatively..
Its becoz of the past..
Dont deny it, coz that would be like treating like im a fool who didnt know..
I dont like finding out things frm other ppl, i juz want u to be able to
tell me the truth..even if it hurts me.
Ppl have said, maybe its coz i tend to overreact, how can i not sometimes?
I knw wat u can do, coz uve done it before..
how can i not treat everything u do now with a little bit of suspicion?
Im sorry i turned out this way. Im trying to change my thoughts..
Wanted to say these things to you, but didnt want to make u feel worse..
so i kept it in..until now..
I dont knw whether u will read this part, but i needed to get it out.
When i said there was no reason for me to go back, and u said ok..
It hurt me, coz i felt unwanted, not needed anymore.
Maybe as you said i am the single candle will shine through the darkness,
but all im trying to do is to light it so that u can find your way out..
In time.
"somehow, i not who i used to be
not anymore..
i dont even know if its a good thing.."