U guys were right....(edited)

..i was doing it for attention, for someone to really listen and not make it feel like something that didnt matter, someone to tell me its gonna be ok and not change the topic coz its something they didnt want to hear.

Was i wrong? Maybe..

..in the way i did it, the way i handled it, the way i said it. Im not proud of it but i was juz desperate for anyone's attention even for 5 mins.Im sorry i did it..

I juz feel that our friendship is not what it used to be, it juz seems to me that ive been shut out from your life and there are things that u don seem to want to share with me anymore..Call me obsessed or phobia or juz imagining things but i knw this things..its coz im super sensitive..which is never a good bad thing =(

Everything i do bothers u, everythin i say irritates u,which never seemed to be last time..u would cheer me up always.. am i really that bad a person? im starting to think that i am..

And for the first time..you made it feel like it was entirely my fault..and u pretended it nvr happened and left me without a chance to explain..so here it is..the reason i kept asking was coz i wanted u to be sure and nt to change ur plans juz coz of me..i didnt say no, i wanted u to think it through..and i was angry and dissapointed that when i was rushing to go back...u told me u couldnt do it..and the reasons that u gave me said i was at fault..and even when finally u said u could again..the way you said it made me feel like i was a burden..it did..believe me..And after it all, u expect me to smile as if nothing happened?

U will nvr get it, after reading this u might even think that im more annoying and nuisance than ever..u will think that im a difficult person and u wont even bother anymore..u might even hate me..i wonder if u will even see this..after being my friend for so long, do u really understand me and put urself in my shoes?

Well im back in penang, reached home late last nite..and juz feelin very tired. Alot on my mind that it makes me donwan to think of anything anymore. Keepin my mind blank..

Btw, thanx guys for keepin me company with ur sms'es on my way back home :)

I dont know what else to say to you, maybe its best if i don say anythin anymore since everythin i say or do seems wrong and aggravates the situation. As a friend said..suck it up and be happy with what we have..thus i will smile..and laugh even when it hurts inside juz coz i donwan to be unhappy anymore..

Shall go back to bed i suppose..and try to sleep.