Weekends came and went, spent most of the time sleeping and FT'ing(that is if the net was working properly..) Audied abit, on sis comp when she was sleeping lol.. Yes, i still cant audi in my pc, sigh. I think im givin up. On alot of things.

Disappointed in alot of things. With my family members, with work, with friends, with me. When will i learn not to expect anything from anyone, even my own family or ppl i call my bestest friends? They will just fuck u up in the end like the rest of the world.

Why is it, that im so willing to listen to ppl's emo ramblings and troubles, but when it comes to me ranting, alot of it is shut out? Maybe the whole problem with my anger recently is that nobody really wants to listen and console me. Maybe im frustrated that the ppl i thought i could rely on, cant be actually.

Like when my family says crap when i juz wan to borrow their pc for awhile. Saying stuff like im addicted, bla bla. But when their pc is down, i willingly lend my pc to them. Everyone has their hobbies. I don reprimand them for theirs why do they do it to me?

At work, the old lady is on mc today. Yet these few days ive been told off when she couldnt find her documents. Telling me, that she had given it to me n it was my fault that its now lost. Ytd i found it in her tray =.= then i when i told her juz now, she acted like i planted it there. Fuck.I dont like being given the dead cat to eat. Juz because of she cant remember what she did, does not give her a right to keep accusing me. Fk off pls. She has not seen the worse part of me yet.

Ppl i call my best friends. Ppl who cant read what i have to say, or do read and forget abt it coz its too emo for them. I thought, as a friend, u take the good along with the bad. Im not asking u to change for me, but to learn hw to live with me. I dont do the things that tick u off when u said u dont like it. Why do u keep doing it to me? And the fact that u act like u dont know why im pissed off makes it even hard to swallow.

Forget it. Im sick of explaining myself, sick of talking n talking and being looked at as erratic and over emotional person. If im not emotional, i wouldnt give a fuck to what happens to anyone.