Its been a very long and tiring day. Not to mention hot as hell..

Though work was being its usual boring self, there were other things which lead to my fatigue too. Getting frustrated with work as the day goes by, and yet there's nothing i can do about other than continue until i find another. *prays n keeps fingers crossed*.

Had to go out in the afternoon and my car heating up is also a dam killer. Seriously need to get it checked b4 it blows up lol..

Went home and audied abit, kept dc'ing this evening for some reason. And it was kinda irritating. Wanted to log off but ray asked me to join comp lol. Guess what? I dc'ed in the middle of game, and i was in 2nd =.= oh wells..

Logged off, and sat ard staring at comp, thinking of what to blog. Its been 3hrs and i finally started. Was unable to put todays' events into words. Still cant.

Heading off to bed i guess, extremely exhausted, with work, with everything. Maybe im trying too hard. I should just let everything go.

Nites peeps~ :)


--

I wonder if u know that im serious about that decision frm you,
Somehow the whole scenario this afternoon kept playin in my mind,
I keep thinking, is this what u do, when im not there?
Why did u tell me otherwise? That u dont do it?
What if one day, one say yes? Would u do what u did the last time that happened?
I dont think i can go through it again, to be deserted for something more exciting n new.

Ill wait till the morning,
If there is still silence from u, then i will know what to do,
I will not be a barrier to you having a good time,
As long as ur happy :)

Because you will nvr see me again,
Not that it matters to you :)

Hola world on a Tuesday~ ;)

Been busy watching comedy's the whole nite last nite - Mall Cop & Yes Man, laughing my head off. Guess its been awhile since i laughed like this and i enjoyed it alot :D

Horrid day at work really, but mostly was staring at the pc and lookin at po's after po's, trying to make sense out of the nonsense lol.. Guess what? Its still nonsense ><. Headache whole day ytd man. Like i said, there's a reason why i nvr took accounts =.=

Went home, and found ivan in audi. But was super dam blurry frm whole afternoon and the nite b4's audi-ing ><. Thought i was like on a cloud high above haha :X After a few games, i gave up and told ivan i really needed to rest lol. So we tagged him for abit and he left shortly after that. He so adamant on gettin to main haha..

Joined comp, which was a disaster coz i sucked big time :( missed like xN times =.= Bah. Dont wan to join anymore :x Lol..

Today has been the same, paperwork paperwork, but heading out soon to get some docs to M&E ppl. Hope the day ends soon...really feeling sick to the stomach x.x

--

To you:

Im sorry i did what i did today,
I feel sick to the stomach and really feel like puking for doing it,
Its the 1st and last time i will ever do something like that,
And im not proud of it, never will be.
I guess, i just wanted a better response from u,
And was wondering why u couldnt do that for me.
It saddens me to see what i saw, coz nw i knw what u do, when im nt ard.

Im sorry if u felt it was scary,
It was nvr intended that way, but if u had did nothing wrong,
Why would u need to feel scared?

I feel hurt, but i wan to apologize for what i did coz of that.
I guess its wrong to feel like crying in the office? :)
Thats hw i feel now, for doing something which was totally not me.
And im disgusted.

But would u have been honest abt ur actions if i was there?

Monday blues~ D:

Cant believe its that time of the week again, when we drag our lifeless bodies to work ><. Lol..i dont think i slept more than 10hrs in these 3days >_>. Even last nite when i was suppose to go to bed earlier coz since i didnt even nap in the end after coming back frm class ><.

But.. ended sleeping at 3 again. Lol... went in audi to see see but wasnt really in the mood to play coz the net was really off last nite. I had to restart everything in the end so it wasnt so laggy. Sigh. Did badly in compy last nite, couldnt even perf coz screen kept freezing.. sad man :( Even cpl compy when i totally lagged out and lost in the 2nd rd.. i really feel shitty and i know i said i was just not gonna think so much about it, but last nite was really depressing.

Anyway, got caught by ahp and diana when i went in, and 3 songs ended up to be more than 3hrs game. To the extent that i felt i was pressing the keypad but nothin was coming out @_@; Wanted to leave, but they wouldnt let me =.= I wonder why i listened to them though..hmmm..

I guess im just a pushover D:

Its gonna be an ok day i guess, well i hope. Mondays always pass me by without me knowing. Its like when we were kids, before our parents pull out that plaster strip, anticipating pain, but then its done b4 we know it. It still hurts as hell ok, but still, its over. Lol. I know, its a lame comparison, but somehow tat memory suddenly came to mind. I wish i can pull out that plaster on me now..

Oh wells, back to work i guess :)

Ciaoz!

P/s: Do you know, that even if the whole world told me to my face that i cant play,
It still wouldnt hurt as much as you thinking or treating me like it was true.


--

あたたかく とけ だして たしかめる の
やさしさ の しずく この むね に ひろがってく
かさねた て はなさ ないで

Konnichiwa minna~!! :)

Gonna start this post now and end it b4 i go to sleep.. Lol :p Still in a daze frm early morning jp class x.x.. imagine on a Sunday @_@; but then again, i dont have to work, unlike some people :( Sayang ya~ :)

After much memorising last nite (till 3plus x.x) and waking up to almost nothing in memory, safe to say, i actually survived todays class and managed to get the writings ask right! Omedetou me! :D Lolol..:X

Am actually planning to take a short nap, so i wont feel so blur if i wanted to join compy. Thinking i just might ba :) After much self put down and low self esteem frm these cpl of days, i figure, wat the hell, im gonna do my best and not think much about it and just have fun right? And besides, i am pro in my own way...LOL! :X ;shy Right right? I wanna be idolised too :p Hahahahaha! Omg la, im really tired i think >_>"

Just updated my resume for like god dono when i last did it, and am gonna mass spam dy~! Been posting to some export companies, hopefully ill get more good news soon, having my fingers crossed :) Also goin to some seminar on thursday, about realty & property law n stuff lolzz.. Mum wants me to try it out n since ive already tried most of the sales line i could ever try, might as well try this ba :D

Im gonna be so dead tired this week :S

Oh ya, the only ss i took of the audi event ytd afternoon.. which i didnt even know i took..lol :D

Was actually thinking of chancing, but scrapped that coz all will advance dy. See la, shd have forced myself to chance hor? :D I might, or a have large possibility of dying in next weeks rd. But wat the hoot, just do it, Nike style :p


Time for a little nap~! Ja matta~!! :)

Saveeeee meeee!! Dying from hiragana memorizing x.x lol... ;wild

Its been a long day, work seemingly passed as fast as i expected, did some work, played some audi(LOL! Coz was alone in office :x) and did some more work.. Still on those dam accounts stuff =.= seems neverending. Had to rush some things out b4 leaving office and rushed home to practice for comp at 3.30..

Was kinda contemplating not participating coz was a nervous wreck. Hmmm..actually wasnt really nervous ba, just felt unprepared as i havent been 8k'ing for awhile lol. Anyway did join in the end and wasnt really happy with the results. Yes, i got in for 2nd rd but it was only coz there were only 3 participants in room, meaning all would advance as 1 didnt come. Wouldnt know if i would got through if there had been 4 lol.. Might have, i guess..

Played with ivan n babe for abit and was feeling extremely drowsy. Was already nodding off b4 comp lol.. Long day le, and somemore it was raining :S Didnt actually rest, coz still had my memorising to do, ended up watching indiana jones =.= I get distracted very easily ><.

Joined exp comp, bt didnt do so well today. Could have gotten in, exp choreo mode, but was missing too much, well not really, i really need to work on my chance, coz in the last few secs, got ninja'ed and got 4th place :( Sad sad.. sigh...

Oh ya! My random pic from this morning!

Lol...wanted to show hw many gifts i had in CW :x Am actually quite annoyed that i cant really finish using all of them up and they just multiply every single time. And i dont even get food from pages as much anymore =.= With the lag, its impossible to take alot out at a time, so i end up only using abt 10 >_>" Lol..random right? Who cares? :p

Oh wells, hopefully ive remembered wat ive memorised, or will it just turn up like a blank sheet of paper tomoro? Shieeet =.= ;pray

Omg...3am =.=

Ciaoz!


--

&im sorry im such a lousy player most of the times,
someone once told me, they tend to slack when they play with me,
its only natural u would wanna train with ppl who will be able to challenge you..

demotivated =\

All is lost..

When there is no more warmth, only a cold void,
When there is no more closeness, only a distant knowledge,
When there is no more true laughter, only a courtesy smile,
When not only are we out of sight, we're out of mind as well.

"When u say u wouldnt let go, was it a momentary consolation?"

Its funny how things unravel, something in ways you would nvr expect,
And yet, i had already foreseen it all, and it still feels like a curse to me.

Not a gift. Never.

For it is better to be oblivious to the happenings of the world ard you,
Than to look into the obvious, and cold hard truths.

The hand that was suppose to be there to grip me when i fell, is no longer to be found,
The light that was suppose to guide my way through this dark tunnel, is no longer burning.

All is lost. Once again.

Tiring day, even though it was half day, but ended up reaching home almost 5 plus...which is basically almost the same time as working T^T~ Lol.. But then, am happy that i got quite a number of things done. Things which i have been postponing for the longest time :)

Went for the interview and it was erm...ok ba i guess? Not putting too much hopes on it coz i dont want to get too disappointed. The job itself was quite cool ba, alot of travelling (yay!) which means i dont sit the bladi office the entire day >_> So yea, it will be nice if i did get it. Though the interviewer's english was kinda, uhm....that lo..kinda uhm :X Rofl..

After that went to settle bills bills bills (weee! =.=) and am broke now ><. Also went to see doc to get some meds. Hopefully it will my salvation coz i really feel like shit now =.= Its gonna happen, no matter what!

Was suppose to go get groceries but was too bladi tired le, so went home 1st. Slacked ard the pc , audi'ed abit, and joined compy later that nite. I really lost touch with 8k leh...i wonder if i shd even join comp later =.= Wanted to practice with you, but u werent ard... oh wells.

Oh ya, exp comp nowadays alot of those fs, normal indi type modes lol..which kinda works out for me, coz thats the only mode which i will definitely pass :X I dono why also, guess i chain more in these modes lol. And also i keep missing lvl 10 n 11's alot and still manage to pass rofl! Kinda cute eh? Anyway, these cpl of nites, dam net has been laggy at abt the same time and got 3rd. Which is still ok, considering i wasnt really perf'ing alot :)

And yes, was out in the 2nd rd. Dam 4k =.= I will nvr pass that mode..tmdtmdtmdtmd! Boo..

Rest of the nite was spent audiing, guess was mainly waiting for someone. But they nvr did show up so stopped at ard 11'ish coz was getting tired and blurry lol..

Slacked ard tv, fb, anime abit and wanted to blog but ended up on bed, so just saved the images and bloggin at office now lol :X I actually had another picture, random, but still i got another pic! ;wild Accidently deleted =.=

Back to work and i actually have some work to do today lol, time is gonna fly by :D

Ciaoz!


--

& i guess it was partly my fault,
to have overly used it and nvr once did i managed to go ahead and doing it.
Its become an empty threat which has no effect on you whatsoever.

I guess, somethings are better left unsaid,
Coz sometimes, talk is really cheap and actions speak louder :)