Sunday, February 21, 2010

We go through life wondering if each path we took was the right one. If the path we took was the better choice and less regrets later in life. If the path we chose, would bring us happiness. True happiness that will last forever.

Yes, i still believe there is such a thing and it does exist, and i shall not let anyone or anything taint that perception of mine. My dad did it once in my life, and i refuse to let anyone else do it. Promises made, shd always be kept, or they shd nvr been made at all. Humans are humans, i cant deny that, but once that bond of trust has been broken, nothing can ever mend it to what it was.

Bond between family, between lovers, between friends.. all sacred in their own way.

U might think im conservative, maybe i am when it comes to this. I dont believe in making excuses to hurt other ppl jz cause i was hurt myself. An eye for an eye is nvr the best solution, regardless of what movies tells us. Someone will always get hurt and its almost never a happy ending.

Ive been pitying for myself these cpl of days, coz i somehow became "devalued" and deemed worthless. Truth is i brought it upon myself to think i was worth less than those ppl u "cared" more. Im not, my feelings are real and not momentary sparks and fun, its deeper and will last longer than that. But sadly, its not worth much in this day and age where 'open-ness' seem to be the in word.

When i say i will be there, i will. When i say i care, i mean it. When i cry, its real tears.

I am disappointed. But not in you, in me. Coz i have made myself "cheaper" than those ppl that u have in your life now. In my desperate attempt to hold on, ive lost grip of myself and my self worth.

Do not blame the world for what sorrow u have, coz no matter what has happened in your life, you have no right to go about claiming redemption on love from everyone just because you are hurt. Face it, challenge it and prove to urself that you can be a better person.

If u are truly happy doing what u have been doing all this while, so be it. But i do not wish to be a part of your life anymore. I will not stand by and see you hurt everyone and worst of all lying to urself. I will not be hurt in this game of yours be it in real life or in virtual.

Do not blame me for being disappointed or assuming or accusing you for anything. U did all that on your own hun :)

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